Tell us your favourite children's joke/s and you could win £150 in vouchers for the store of your choice

[carriemumsnet]

Kinder mini treats have asked us to help the find Britain's best children's jokes. The jokes should be suitable for children aged under 11 (nothing too rude please ) and we're dividing them into three categories, knock knock, animal and teacher/parent jokes - hope that gives everyone enough leeway .

Once we've collected the jokes, Kinder will be whittling them down to the top 5 in each category and then we'll be asking you to ask your child/ren to vote for their favourite (with another £150 up for grabs then).

Everyone who sends in a joke (ideally one in each category) will be entered into a prize draw to win £150 of vouchers for a store of your choice.

You can send in your jokes here

Thanks and good luck.

MNHQ

[HEB7]

Animal Category:

Q: What did the whale say to the submarine?
A: I can see your bottom!

Has my 3 and 7 year olds in hysterics.

[5inthebed]

Oh ok, not to worry. I'm sure the one I submitted will be ok.

[Slickbird]

I'm too late to post mine, so I'll just put it here;

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

Always makes me chuckle.

[YohoAhoy]

Seeing as my favourites have already been mentioned (Edward Woodward!) I submit:

Why do goblins have big ears?

Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

[carriemumsnet]

5inthebed... that shouldn't happen

The poll is officially closed but if you want to post it here in the next hour or so I'll make sure it's included in the selection...

We've really enjoyed all these (as have our kids) - please keep them coming - for pure enjoyment if nothing else

We'll be putting the top 5 lists up soon so you can vote for your favourites and announcing the winner of the £150.

Thanks again

MNHQ

[mandylifeboats]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

For being outstanding in his field!

Couldn't make it fit any of the categories!

[5inthebed]

I submitted a joke, and want to do another one, but when I click the link it takes me to the MN homepage? Can you only submit one joke?

[jodee]

DS's fave, from a Horrid Henry book:

What did the Doctor say to the man wearing clingfilm?

I can clearly see you're nuts!

[Hazel78]

Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

[BarkisIsWilling]

What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?



Snowballs!

[paisleyleaf]

What do you call a man with no arms, and no legs, who swims the English Channel?
Cleverdick

[chipkid]

whats brown and sticky?

a stick!! gets me every time

[cremolafoam]

What kind of biscuits fly?






Plain ones

[Spidermama]

Very, erm, memorable.

[CJCregg]

I know, poor man. What were his parents thinking? On a par with a classmate of my brother's - Christian Church.

[Spidermama]

Is anyone else begining to feel that Edward Woodward must have had a terribly tough time at school?

[CJCregg]

And, of course, that should be 'so many'.

[CJCregg]

Why does Edward Woodward have so man Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called

E-war Woo-war

(sorry, I love this one)

[paisleyleaf]

How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a hill!

[xfabba]

and also:

what do you call a deer walking in the woods with no eye?

no idea

what do you call the same deer when it stops walking?

still no idea

[Spidermama]

What do you call a man with a plank on his head?
Edward.

What do you call a man with three planks on his head?
Edward Woodward.

What do you call a man with four planks on his head?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would.

[Tortoise]

Done
I chose DS2's 2nd favourite joke cos the 1st one is a bit risky.
2nd one is-
What did one snake say to the other snake?
Hiss off.

[latermater]

Thanks molly roger - my son (then nearly 3) told it to my Dad in hospital just before my Dad died a year ago. It would have been his 76th birthday today, so I was thinking about it tonight.

[latermater]

Why are pirates so cool?

They just Aaaarrrrgggh!

Doesn't sound so funny written down!

[mollyroger]

my favourite too, mater