Hairwashing nightmare

[jona]

My three year old son hates having his hair washed to such a degree that it's a nightmare. He tries to climb out of the bath, screaming hysterically. I feel awful, cos I know it must really scare him but obviously have to get the deed done and because he's so hysterical, I usually end up getting more water in his face than necessary. Someone once told me about some kind of shield you can buy which protects their face from the water and soapy suds. Anyone have one of these and could you direct me to where I can purchase one. If not, but you know of any other products or tips which may make life easier for us both, please help!

My ds aged 2 is the same. So was his brother, but he grew out of it around 4. I did have one of those shield things (bought a few years ago from the Tesco Mother & Baby catalogue) but neither of them would wear it, they just screamed at the sight of it! So I just shampoo his hair once a fortnight (unless it's got jam or sand in it!) and grit my teeth. It's horrible for both of you, but he will grow out of it! Ds1 aged 4 will now hold a dry flannel to his eyes for the rinsing. You could try washing his hair in the shower rather than the bath, it's quicker. Ds2 is exactly the same at having his hair cut too.

My daughter went through a stage of hating hair washing but we hit on the idea of letting her use her swimmimg goggles. Her and her brother found this such a laugh that it took the pressure off (as well as protecting her eyes from the water). They now just hold a dry flannel to their eyes and I always get them to look up at the ceiling which helps stop too many drips. It is hard to get past that initial hysteria though. The other thing my dd likes to do is to wash her dollys hair at the same time as she has hers washed. Have you got a bath time doll? It sounds like you are going to need something to distract him to start with. Good luck. (I think the visors are also sold by Great Little Trading Company)

I find using a sponge (I splashed out on a natural one but I'm sure you can similar shaped manufactured ones) is great for keeping much water/soap out of the eyes. Squeeze quite a bit of water out so its not dripping wet. DD thinks the sponge is fun to play with too and it also doubles as a body sponge (DD doesn't mind neck washing with this method - even behind the ears is possible, she just laughs when it tickles). I assume you have tried the "no more tears" shampoos?

I am very interested to know whether this was a new phenomena for all your children - as I have always splashed plenty of water in my DDs (8 months) face etc during bath time, and take her swimming (with dunking under the water) and thought this would help this sort of behaviour developing - but I know that nothing is failsafe as afterall - the children make the rules - so could you let me know... Then I won't be surprised if, in a couple of years time she suddenly decides not to like water in her facce anymore! Thanks

Jona, a 3 year old probably doesn't actually need his hair washed. Both my kids have been like yours. Dd (now 6) submits to having her hair washed because she wants to have it long so we do it once a week and she's brave enough to cope. However, ds (just 4) can't bear it. The only times I've made him have his hair washed were the two occasions he had lice so it was essential! And you can't tell I don't wash his hair, it's shiny and soft anyway. Are you washing your son's hair because it needs to be washed or because you can't cope with the thought of unwashed hair? If it gets food in or whatever, you can wash that out with a wet flannel. Otherwise, leave it alone till he's older. Don't bother with an eye shield, your son will just rip it off. Try swimming goggles when he's old enough to cope with the idea. Try encouraging your son to splash in the bath so he gets used to his face getting wet and his hair too. Finally (sorry to go on so long!), if you have to rinse his hair, do it sneakily: put something interesting in the bath, get him to look down at it then quicky tip a jug of water over his head as he looks down. You have my sympathy, holding down a wet, hysterical child while you wash them is no fun.

i my dd went through this phase and the only way we could get her hair washed was if i or my dp got in the bath with her.she sat on our lap and layed back against our chest while mummy/daddy washed her hair...aftera few weeks she was fine again

My 5 yr old ds is the same and I have tried so many ways to make it more bearable. Showers are a total nono and so is any splashing/water in eyes. He has even got to the point where he doesn't like water in his ears aswell! What I now do is make him go on his back with his forearms flat on the bottom of the bath/elbows bent and tip his head back as far as it will go. This way most of his head is under the water and his ears and eyes are dry. Then when i need to wash one side I just fold over his ears and pour water gently over the hair and the same on the other. The back just gets washed in the bath waterand the top you can do gently as he is supporting himself.

I know it is a nightnmare but I hope this helps

I have not had this problem yet but I did see in the perfectly happy people catalogue or www.thebabycatalogue.om - go into bathtime section and they have shampoo goggles they call them - similar style to wrap around glasses. They are held on with an elasticised strap. Not sure how effective they are.

snickers, I did the same as you and my ds has taken showers with us (neither dh or I like taking baths) since he was old enough to sit up (6 mo.). I never made any effort to cover his eyes, though I did use no tears shampoo. He is now 27 mo. and is still totally happy in the shower and getting water/shampoo on his face/eyes. I think dh even uses normal shampoo (i still use the no tears stuff).

However, when my stepkids at 5 and 6 started coming to us, they screamed at the mere thought of water in their eyes. I took them for swimming lessons and let them use a mask and snorkel in the bathtub. I also tried to sponsor "who can stay under water the longest" contests. It didn't take long for the water in the face problem to be solved.

We are having exactly the same problem, jona. I have told him again and again why it is dangerous to jump and wriggle. Now I have started warning him in advance that he has to have his hair washed on a particular day, and reassuring him that it is not going to get washed every single day. He has been learning to pour water on his hair himself, which seems to be helping, so we have now reached the stage where washing with water is OK but a big drama to rinse out shampoo.

We get ds to cover his face with a facecloth while he is having his hair washed and sing a nursery rhyme or just count to an agreed number while washing so that he knows how much longer there is to go. Sometimes, if he insists that we can only count to five then we ask questions about whether it is time to start counting yet whilst washing and introduce four and a quarter, four and a half etc for that extra bit of time .

We tried the 'shield' too but ds hated it more than washing his hair!
HTH

Unfortunately Snickers it hasn't worked as well for us as it as for Sofiaames. I have taken DS (aged 2)swimming regularly since he was 3 months old and he will happily jump into the pool and go right under the water and join in splashing games but screams blue murder when I try to wash his hair. He is slightly better for DH than me.

I agree with XAusted - my ds is 2 and we never shampoo his hair - and he has got lovely soft shiny hair. Wish I could do the same with mine. We do wet it, and he goes into the shower after swimming to give it a good rinse. In fact I think the reason he really doesn't mind the water splashing in his face/eyes is because he's never had the sting of shampoo/soap (we don't use any soap to wash him either, and he doesn't smell!).

This might have already been said, but I've found the only thing that works is getting in the bath yourself. I let DS lean back on me so that his head is resting on my tummy, and wash it that way. I'm like a giant soft hairdressers back-wash. He loves it like that and nothing runs into his eyes.

Jona

Have the same problem with our 2.5 DS - I sat him down and explained to him that we must wash it once a week to keep it clean etc etc(He goes to nursery and gets fabulously messy!)and then
HIM to tell me what day he would like his hair washed this week. (I suggested Sunday which was the farthest one away and then forgot about it until the day)- I then remimded him of our agreement and did it on that day. This has worked for the last few weeks. He still gets upset but accepts that it is only once a week. He also holds a flannel up to his face for rinsing.

For the record - we have been taking him swimming since he was about 12 months and he loves it, so I think this may just be a phase.

I KNOW it's very distressing but try and keep calm.