Am I old fashioned for wanting to date before sex?

[Heidi3333]

Hi I'm 45 and haven't had sex for nearly 10 years!!
I have let plenty of men - both
In real life and online - but most of them want sex before even going on a date.

Most recently a male friend I liked came round to my flat to visit a few times. He never once asked me out on a date but
Instead thought it was ok to start feeling my bum when I got up off the sofa to make him a coffee. I told him to p!ss off.

Then another guy who I'm friends with on FB and is a tradesman who has done work in my house a few times started sending me sexy messages and asking for nude pictures. When I suggested meeting for a coffee instead he said he wouldn't be available for 5 weeks as he was too busy.

This is just 2 examples of what I'm on about. If a man behaves like this then it just turns me off and things never move forward.

Am I old fashioned? Is the only way to get a man these days to put out first?

Sometimes I despair 😩

I'm pretty sure they were all married as well.

It's not ideal, but I must admit that in some ways I much prefer it if a bloke is upfront about what he's after.

I recently spent a few days chatting to an apparently lovely bloke. There were a few cheeky comments but mostly about books, food, our families...he came across intelligent, well read, dry sense of humour, told me he fancied me. I couldn't believe my luck.

Then we got onto chatting about our OLD experiences and I mentioned that about 70% of the guys I'd matched with had gone straight from 'hello' to 'bra size...pics?' and how tedious it was.

Next thing I knew I'd been ghosted! I'd have much rather hed told me what he was after from the outset rather than wasting my time and, tbh, getting my hopes up.

Upfront is fine. But grabbing a friend's arse as a seduction technique really falls short. Subtlety is far more sexy.

Your not old fashioned but I think a lot of people are more open to first date sex than previously,I actually prefer the dates as a kind of build up of excitement.

Sad I used to love the build up of dating and snogging/touching up before having full sex after a few weeks/months of dating. Soooo sexy! I’m 43 this was the norm when I was last dating at 25. God help me if I ever become single again don’t think I could take OLD

I used to like to date 1st, but I’m older (50+),
However the last 2 people I dated (no sex), seemed to be after extra things before even the 2nd date (could you pay this bill, deal with this other issue etc), felt like I was being used a meal ticket, so given up on women for now

Don’t blame you

Nope not old fashioned, its actually a great way to filter out abusive men. I alway advise victims of domestic violence to wait until after 6th date to have sex because violent men wouldnt wait that long. I ideally advise to wait until 8th date.

Its also best to wait in my opinion if what you're looking for is a serious relationship.

In my dating days I never considered having sex within the first few dates, despite maybe feeling the urge because as one poster said it is a great filter.

To be fair I never experienced a bloke that was so shallow and it was always at least weeks before I would have sex and my first BF at 19 it was three months and he was a bit older than me . It was good for the anticipation though waiting