Son attacked

[HsD2975]

I got a phone call today to advise that my son (12 yrs) Year 7, had been attacked by Year 10 boys in the yard. He was intimidated by them, put in a head lock, spun round and flung on the field. Another Year 10 then joined in dragging him by his feet. The school attendance officer identified the boys and gave them a stern talking too. At lunch break (same day) the group re-approached my son asking why he was a snitch.

I have told the attendance officer that I have serious concerns for my child’s state of mind and safety. He was bullied in primary school and has previously been physically hurt by other children (never a re-occurring group of children) several times since September.

I have asked the school what punishment is being given to these children from today’s incident. I have been told that sanctions/punishments will be given but they are unable to discuss the details with me. I totally get that they would not give names etc. But surely as a parent of a child who has been physically attacked I have the right to know what sanction has been given to the offenders?

Can anybody advise?

[HsD2975]

From what I can gather, they were given a stern talking to by the attendance officer. They were then allowed back in the yard on their next break where they re-approached my child.

My son had not even spoken to these boys, did not know there names it was completely unprovoked.

I will be taking this matter further. My son has been at school 8 1/2 months and this is the 7th time he has been physically attacked by pupils at the school. I will be requesting a meeting with a member of the schools senior leadership team.

[MaisyPops]

I agree cat, but exclusion is above isolation in behaviour policies (and it's almost impossible to get managed moves etc if the child hasn't got FTEs on their record).
Some parents would look at isolation for a week with longer days and think 'but i want the perpetrator to be excluded' . It's why it's best not to discuss individual students with anyone other than their own parents/carers

OP
If that is the case then along with everything else ypu've said I would be challenging the idea that is a good school. I know you've said it's a good school but a good school does not bend to the whims of violent and aggressive KS4 students. As a member of staff, the picture I'm getting is that some KS4 students in that school feel bloody untouchable (and judging by the lack of action from staff, probably are!)

Please start looking at raising issues more formally. Some on here will start saying 'go straight to LA/Ofsted' but they will usually want to see you've tried school procedures first. Find the school procedure abd start following it. Keep all written records abd follow up phonecalls with emails etc.

So sorry you're in that situation

[HsD2975]

Maisypops...yes my intention is not to cause uproar but to work together with the school to ensure my son feels safe going to school.

[MaisyPops]

I think your next step needs to be to formalise things a bit.
Make a list, keep it factual (try to avoid too much he said she said tends to be best e.g. someone said the violent students were now in charge of who was on the field). Document your safeguarding concerns anf that part of the issue appears to stem from the vertical tutor group. In the first instance, I would request a move to another tutor group and see if an older child can mentor him (even better if you have an older popular student to do it as thry usually keep the cowardly idiots in their year at bay).
It may also be worth asking school what their policy is for students who intimidate at lunch time (e.g. at my last few schools if students couldn't socialise politely then they were escorted to get lunch by senior leadership and then spent the rest of their lunch in a room in silence with senior leadership. They were removed from free time until they could behave like decent human beings).

Could your son have a nominated safe adult he can go to if there are future issues?

Then it's in the school's court to make some changes and some provision.

[missyB1]

Two questions

1. is this a state or private school? It shouldn't matter but may affect how things are dealt with.
   
2. Why do you insist this is a good school when there seems to be a lot off aggressive behaviour happening? 7 attacks in 8 months? It's not a school I would fancy having my ds in.

[Rudi44]

Yes if you son has been attacked this many times since he joined it’s not a good school, it’s not even a safe School.

I think you are being far too reasonable, these much bigger boys attacked your son for no reason and were then allowed back out to try and start in him again? I would be involving the police as the school don’t seem to be able to keep the younger kids safe and in your situation I would be seriously considering moving him

[penguinsnpandas]

So sorry your son has been attacked. It is standard for schools not to give details because of confidentiality but it is frustrating.

My son in y6 has been attacked every day over a long period and was hit with a branch the other day by a new boy with SEN who has a full-time TA. When I complained he had come back bruised and was then punched twice in a lesson next day I got an e-mail saying he had been spoken to. Wasn't happy so phoned and I was lucky the teacher said she wasn't allowed to say but said lets just say don't expect to see him at school for the next couple of days and we are considering never letting him out at breaks. But I know that teacher really well and she's putting herself on the line to tell me. I think all you can have is information re safeguarding of your son. Normally if they have excluded its instant so if the boys concerned aren't at school the next day it may well be an exclusion. Sometimes I find if I say I know you can't say in this situation but if there was a hypothetical same situation what would be the normal punishment they will say.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

HsD2975

I am all for working with the school, but sometimes you have to cause uproar, but make sure that you have times, dates, pictures of injuries form all incidents and keep a paper trail of everything that has been said and they said would be done.

[HsD2975]

Maisypops - yes I have today pulled together a list of incidents. As you say, I have kept it very short and factual. The incidents can be discussed in more detail at a later stage when needed.

I have received a call today to advise that all boys have received warnings, parents have received phone calls.

I have advised the teacher that if there is one more incident we will no longer be having any phone calls and I will start a more formal process with the senior leadership team starting off with an introduction meeting at school. Obviously this will be where my report of previous incidents comes into play.

I have previously asked the pastoral director if he could be nominated a ‘buddy’, this was following incidents traveling on the school service bus. To be honest I never really got much response, and the incidents then calmed down before finally stopping altogether. However I have all kept copies of all emails that were sent regarding this. Again I will use as evidence to senior staff if and when I need.

The school also took a written statement from my niece who heard the ‘retard’ comments.

My son has had a good day in school today, he stayed outside for the whole of his break periods in the nice weather with no bother from any children. He commented that he did not see the older boys on the yard all day, which we have taken as meaning they were in detentions.

[donquixotedelamancha]

As a secondary school teacher you should know that schools are not allowed to pass on that information.

@BoneyBackJefferson

On what basis? I've done data protection for a major UK bank and done more training on the legal framework for teaching than most. I'm genuinely not aware of any reason why you wouldn't share the consequences of an assault on a child.

I know some schools don't, but I've never worked in one. I'd be genuinely interested if there is a legal basis for saying they can't.

[MaisyPops]

donquixotedelamancha
Usually because children are complex and if you give information in scenario 1 then in scenario 2 it's not appropriate, it ends up with frustrated parents who want to know why their friend was told about timmy's outcome but they can'r ve told what happened to Charlotte.
Often schools are aware of more information behind the scenes that informs decisions and it's easier to say nothing than to get into a 'is that the right outcome' chat.

It's pretty unusual to hear about a comprehensive update.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

I would start with general data protection, and not passing on information about someone else.

[ASauvignonADay]

There is often a lot of discussion between staff and leaders about an appropriate sanction and it will vary depending on the exact situation and the 'perpetrators' circumstance. It would not be appropriate to discuss this. If we have excluded I tend to emphasise on the "this has been sanctioned very severely..."!

[crispycrunchie1980]

Its assault. Id be calling the head on Monday and informing him that the police are being informed. Id tell your DS this as well to see if his story changes.

[donquixotedelamancha]

@MaisyPops. I completely agree that one would not not normally discuss outcomes because it's unnecessary, and in many situations there might be interventions that couldn't be discussed.

That said, where a physical assault has occurred, most parents want to know that clear action has been taken. If a parent isn't reassured, I think it would be silly to say absolutely nothing about the outcome. Obviously I'm not suggesting details of staff discussions or the offending child's circumstances.

@BoneyBackJefferson. I can assure you the DPA says nothing of the sort. If this were the case then you couldn't be told when the person who stole your car went to jail, or whether the person who bumped your car contests fault.

[MaisyPops]

I agree some communication that something has happened is key. Like another poster, the line I've heard used is something like 'we can assure you this incident is treated seriously and has been dealt with severely. Should there be a repeat then we will continue to adopt a zero tolerance policy to such behaviour'.

[bunbunny]

I think you are being over accomodating to the school at the expense of your son.

You need to formally tell school that they have seriously failed in their duty to safeguard your ds and they need to step up to safeguard him while in their care. So you would like to have a meeting with them asap to discuss what their plan is to keep him safeguarded but still ensuring that he is able to take part in school. So for example your ds needs to be able to go on the field without worrying - it's the y10s that need to have their rights to go on the field removed.

And definitely involve the police - the school have been fobbing you off. They need a serious shock to show that they need to treat this seriously and not sweep it under the carpet pretending that everything at the school is ok.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

donquixotedelamancha

That may well be the case but personal data is protected.

[Branleuse]

I would remove my child from this school as he is neither physically or mentally safe there and they are not dealing with this assault satisfactorily at all. I would call the police

[donquixotedelamancha]

@BoneyBackJefferson
That may well be the case but personal data is protected.

I'm not sure what this means. The DPA restricts the way computerised records can be processed and shared. It also stipulates consequences for sharing confidential information, which can mean quite different things in different circumstances.

The fact that a child who assaulted your child has been sanctioned is not confidential information. Complaining to the information commissioner that a teacher verbally told a parent 'the child who assaulted your son has been given a detention' would just give them a laugh.

It's fine if, in your professional judgement, you should say nothing at all, but I don't think there is any law on this. I don't agree with that judgement- I think that (if the OP is not misunderstanding things) it gives the impression of evasiveness and lack of clear consequences.

The OP has a right to expect a clear response- if he has actually been physically attacked 7 times (as opposed to exaggerating incidents as kids often do) then I would be very robust in expecting follow up.

[Ledkr]

I'd speak to the police to be honest.
My Dd was bullied last year for around 6 months. We had the same as you from the school, almost as if she was to blame somehow,

We gave up in the end and moved her to a new school (performing arts college) she is now happy and living a normal life.

Some schools are just crap at dealing with bullying and I was not prepared to waste my daughters life fighting them.

[ASauvignonADay]

OP, what has your son/the school said about the other 6 incidents? Were they of a similar nature?

[HsD2975]

Of the previous incidents 2 were the same child who verbally and physical assaulted my son in the school bus. He had also bullied my child in primary school. The secondary school immediately stepped in, contacted parents and told us that if this child continued to attack my son he would be made to sign a contract of aggrement to stay away from my child. This had an immediate affect and this child has stayed away from my son ever since.

I think I have made a views very clear to the school yesterday. It is in their interest to ensure my child is not touched again, as they now know I will take matters further with the senior leadership team.

My son is no angel, no child is. But he does know right from wrong, and he is a very honest child. When he has done wrong he is the first to own up, he guilt trips himself into a confession on many occasions and that is how I trust his version of events. My son has made comments to other children in the past, and I received a phone call from a parent of an upset child. The difference is I made my son get in the car, he was taken to this child’s house and apologised to both the child and her parents. It is called parenting and teaching your child respect for others.

[Cauliflowersqueeze]

I would never discuss the sanction given to a child with the parents of another child.

[Branleuse]

if you felt that the school were actually taking it seriously and not victim blaming then there wouldnt be any NEED for them to discuss the sanctions, as the parent would be confident that it was being dealt with.