Advice please on how to handle 11+ cattiness amongst Y5s

[NofGreenGables]

I have a Y5 daughter who is at the top of her class, along with one or two others. She will be sitting 11+ exams head to head with one classmate for a very competitive school. The problem is that this child (with whose mother I am friendly) has been apparently got started on the mind games of the following ilk:
"I've been doing past papers every night for the last year" (when the school does not release past papers of any sort)
OR, more recently, broadcasting my daughters' school shortlist to other class-members (in my daughter's opnion to set her up for any prospective falls / "failures" to get in).

I've explained that she should not get drawn in, and that this behaviour must come from a place of insecurity but I am a little irked by the manipulative and unsportsmanlike nature of this behaviour. Do you think I should speak to the mother about asking her child to be more sensitive and aware of others' privacy or do you think it will make things worse? I am just protective of my daughter who is already anxious and though bright, suffering from performance anxiety.

[Appuskidu]

I have been through this three times already and have learnt to be very vague in my answers and replies to other mums (it’s never dads in my experience)!

I don’t think there is much wrong with what this girl has said. That school may not release past papers but there are thousands and thousands of 11+ past papers from various schools/boards out there (I seem to own most of them!) so whatever’s she’s doing is probably good practice and they still are past papers even if they aren’t from that specific school.

[NofGreenGables]

Thanks for the input people!

[VoiciLePort]

We're going through this at the moment and I find the best way to handle it is not to actually lie, but to give no opinions. So if asked, I will say that yes, DS is taking 11+, yes, he's having a modest amount of tutoring (and anyone who wants it can have the tutor's details - do people really not do this??), that we're visiting and considering all the local schools, both grammar and non grammar, but we don't have a preference as yet - but aren't we lucky that all the schools around here are so good? I'm a bit warier to talk about the fact that we're also looking at independents, as I find that provokes a much more hostile response.

[ZX81user]

The kid will mean practice papers.I don't see how she is being catty.