Moving from private prep to state secondary

[boygirl118]

Hi

Our son is at a prep school. At the end of his time there (next year) we are considering sending him to our local state secondary. It is a pretty good school and I have heard positive things about it. We will of course go to see it on the open evening.

What I wanted to find out is if anyone has made a similar decision and if it worked out (or not). Our son is bright and enjoys sport. Although I can see he is starting to tire of the how competitive it is getting at the prep school. He also isn't that self motivated but then he is a 9 year old boy!

One of the main reasons for our thinking about this move is that we would like him to be educated with a more eclectic mix of children. We feel his current school is a bit of a bubble of entitlement.

This is simply our personal choice. There is no right or wrong when choosing state or private. I would like to hear about any experiences.

[ReelingLush18]

DS is at a super-selective and I'm given to understand that a small but steady stream of local prep school boys enter his school at 11. I don't think there tend to be any issues of adjustment but I'm confident that's partly because many of the children are from very similar socio-economic backgrounds.

There is not necessarily the divide between state and privately school educated children that many think. It really depends on the schools in question. In London there are many state primaries in very 'naice' areas which are basically in all but name (and no-fees) great prep schools in disguise. I give you Bishop Gilpin (Wimbledon) and St Anselm's (Tooting), curiously both outstanding faith schools, as just two examples.

Yes, I'm also aware of many young people moving from private education into the state sector for sixth form provision. As an example, I recall being shown round by a sixth former at Graveney (whose mufti clothes made him look as if he's stepped out of Eton) who had transferred in from Dulwich College after GCSEs.

[Nonsense55]

My DD moved from a private prep to state for year 7 entry. We chose a normal local state school over privates and have been really happy with that decision. My DD is happy and motivated and not stresssed and anxious. She has a varied lovely group of friends all of whom want to do really well. There is a lot of myth out there about state schools mainly propagated by people who have never set foot in a state school and have all sorts of weird bias. I would talk to people with children at the school and also remember that 93% of our society go to state school! I have never never regretted our decision.

[FozzieMK]

Both my daughters moved from private to state for sixth form. Both different establishments. One had no issues whatsoever and thrived in the local college, the other has been singled out by girls suggesting she is 'judging' them and ridiculed for being picked up in a 'nice' car and for living in a 'nice' house. They know that she came from private school because there were boys from the local prestigious boarding school there too. All of the boys flunked out and to be honest I am not that impressed with the standard of teaching and administration. I have found it hard not being kept in the loop and basically any complaint from me falling on deaf ears, which didn't happen in the private schools. So mine is a tale of two halves, one daughter had no problems, did better than at the private school and is now at Uni (something the private school thought would never happen) and the other has had a tough time with bullies and a questionable education!

[ReelingLush18]

the other has had a tough time with bullies and a questionable education! That could equally happen in some private schools though. It's not unique to state schools.

[BubblesBuddy]

I did not say the schools don’t know where the pupils come from, obviously they do. What I said was that this is not shared with individual teachers. That data is protected these days and confined to those who need to know. A great deal of effort goes into getting children to gel and pointing out differences isn’t the way to do it. Old stories of children having to stand up and say where they used to go to school just doesn’t happen any more.

There might be casual chat between the pupils. That’s normal but it’s chat that disappears quickly as friendships are formed on the basis of other factors.

My DD worked out for herself that no-one in her year group was state educated prior to going to the school. This was never ever referred to by teachers.

[AlwaysHungryAlwaysTired]

We moved both our DS from private to (partially selective) state secondary at 11. Like you, we worried over the decision but it has turned out to be a great move. Both are happy, achieving just as highly as they would have done I'm sure, aiming for top universities, confident, involved, with great groups of friends. We have been able to afford to spend more time (and holidays) with them than we otherwise would have done and they have been able to go on some amazing school trips, including ski trips and sports tours, that we would not have been able to afford had they stayed at private school. They have benefitted from being more local to home and their independence (and lack of 'entitlement') is lovely to see. Do I think their secondary school is 'as good' as the private schools they might have gone to? I don't know. The facilities aren't as good, the teaching ranges from excellent to not so good, and I would fear that 'middle' children could get lost - but this can be true in the private sector too. The communication between school and home is not as good as in the private sector from all I can gather. But I think the outcomes for both of our children (who differ in ability and personality considerably) are going to be much the same. I think they are both reaching their potential and, much more importantly to us, they are both happy, healthy, well-grounded, well-rounded and have a good work ethic.

Only you can make your own choice as there are so many variables, but hope this helps. Whichever decision you make, with supportive parents I'm sure your child will be fine.

[Lifeisshortbuytheshoes]

My sister and I were moved from private prep school to state secondary (grammar) and it was awful. She went into Year 9 and was bullied terribly, ended up changing the way she talked, acted, her whole personality just to survive. I was younger and got badly teased but luckily not bullied, I hated every minute. We then moved areas (back to near the Prep) and sister moved into private senior school and suffered again this time because of her new accent etc. I was moved back to my old Prep which was even worse as I no longer fitted in, I was a year behind academically and all my friends had made new friends and I was an outsider. I hated school for those years and sister never really recovered, went massively off the rails in teenage years.


So for all the positive stories, be aware there is the risk it could be a bad move...

[ChocolateWombat]

As a previous poster says, it all depends on the actual Independnet and state schools available to you and whether either or both can provide a high quality education for a son of your DCs ability and personality. You can look at the DfE tables of results for high , ,edit mandolin low ability children and see how the school do for the all kids and the category your son is in.

Another thing to consider is if you, your son and family fit into one type of school much more than the other. Most people, both children and adults could fit in well at either. Most kids don't stand out becaue they have been to Prep and most parents don't either. Some however might - perhaps because they feel very different and don't want to fit in.

So, unless the state school is a bad one and unless you or your son have such a narrow experience of life that you can only cope with interacting with people from a narrow background, if the state school is good, there is no reason why it shouldn't be a success....possibly different, but a success.

As another poster said, some state and independent schools can be very similar. In affluent areas, many parents could afford fees and choose to go state. The kids and parents will be very similar. Grammar schools are clearly pretty similar in a number of ways and tend to be socially exclusive with significant numbers of middle class kids. Some Comps are also like this. It is also the case that some independents aren't full of rich people but most parents are working very hard and making bug sacrifices for the fees - some of these independents are great and others offer similar or less than many state schools.

So choose based on the actual schools and you as a family, rather than just on a state vs Independnet theoretical debate.

[behindthescenes]

I teach in a comprehensive which often has children from private schools joining at 11 and 16 and it’s not an issue at all. It’s an “outstanding” school with a tiny catchment and in a pretty leafy part of London so obviously the context may be very different from other people’s, but I have genuinely never heard of a a child being singled out for their background. The only things I would see as a potential issue are the lack of sports (but that’s very easy to supplement yourself) and possibly having to get used to slightly less open access to teachers - but then lots of parents find that hard with the transfer to secondary wherever they’ve come from. Obviously, if he would stand out like a sore thumb in the new school it’s likely to be more challenging.

[ReelingLush18]

I was a year behind academically and ... I was an outsider. I hated school for those years and sister never really recovered I could have written that same sentence about the experience DSib and I had moving from a comprehensive to a grammar school. It really does depend on the schools involved.

[mastertomsmum]

We took our son out of Prep School and sent him to local Primary in Yr5. The best decision by far about his education we have ever made.

The range of subjects learnt at Primary level wasn't as broad and the sports were less sophisticated. However, the Maths and English were much better taught and the focus on the individual child was far better. There is no way anyone in his class at Prep school could have done well enough to be above the threshold at Maths SATs level, that's how inferior the prep was.

Larger classes didn't matter as concern for each child was so much greater.

At Secondary he had his pick of the Grammers and place at a state school (academy). I'm glad we chose the academy. They do everything the Prep school did inc extra curricular and the atmosphere is very inclusive. Plus it's a very academic school.

[boygirl118]

Thanks everyone for their experiences. Obviously we aren't making a decision based on private vs state. Just wanted to hear how people found the transition.

thank you all.