Moving from private prep to state secondary

[boygirl118]

Hi

Our son is at a prep school. At the end of his time there (next year) we are considering sending him to our local state secondary. It is a pretty good school and I have heard positive things about it. We will of course go to see it on the open evening.

What I wanted to find out is if anyone has made a similar decision and if it worked out (or not). Our son is bright and enjoys sport. Although I can see he is starting to tire of the how competitive it is getting at the prep school. He also isn't that self motivated but then he is a 9 year old boy!

One of the main reasons for our thinking about this move is that we would like him to be educated with a more eclectic mix of children. We feel his current school is a bit of a bubble of entitlement.

This is simply our personal choice. There is no right or wrong when choosing state or private. I would like to hear about any experiences.

[boygirl118]

Thanks everyone for their experiences. Obviously we aren't making a decision based on private vs state. Just wanted to hear how people found the transition.

thank you all.

[mastertomsmum]

We took our son out of Prep School and sent him to local Primary in Yr5. The best decision by far about his education we have ever made.

The range of subjects learnt at Primary level wasn't as broad and the sports were less sophisticated. However, the Maths and English were much better taught and the focus on the individual child was far better. There is no way anyone in his class at Prep school could have done well enough to be above the threshold at Maths SATs level, that's how inferior the prep was.

Larger classes didn't matter as concern for each child was so much greater.

At Secondary he had his pick of the Grammers and place at a state school (academy). I'm glad we chose the academy. They do everything the Prep school did inc extra curricular and the atmosphere is very inclusive. Plus it's a very academic school.

[ReelingLush18]

I was a year behind academically and ... I was an outsider. I hated school for those years and sister never really recovered I could have written that same sentence about the experience DSib and I had moving from a comprehensive to a grammar school. It really does depend on the schools involved.

[behindthescenes]

I teach in a comprehensive which often has children from private schools joining at 11 and 16 and it’s not an issue at all. It’s an “outstanding” school with a tiny catchment and in a pretty leafy part of London so obviously the context may be very different from other people’s, but I have genuinely never heard of a a child being singled out for their background. The only things I would see as a potential issue are the lack of sports (but that’s very easy to supplement yourself) and possibly having to get used to slightly less open access to teachers - but then lots of parents find that hard with the transfer to secondary wherever they’ve come from. Obviously, if he would stand out like a sore thumb in the new school it’s likely to be more challenging.

[ChocolateWombat]

As a previous poster says, it all depends on the actual Independnet and state schools available to you and whether either or both can provide a high quality education for a son of your DCs ability and personality. You can look at the DfE tables of results for high , ,edit mandolin low ability children and see how the school do for the all kids and the category your son is in.

Another thing to consider is if you, your son and family fit into one type of school much more than the other. Most people, both children and adults could fit in well at either. Most kids don't stand out becaue they have been to Prep and most parents don't either. Some however might - perhaps because they feel very different and don't want to fit in.

So, unless the state school is a bad one and unless you or your son have such a narrow experience of life that you can only cope with interacting with people from a narrow background, if the state school is good, there is no reason why it shouldn't be a success....possibly different, but a success.

As another poster said, some state and independent schools can be very similar. In affluent areas, many parents could afford fees and choose to go state. The kids and parents will be very similar. Grammar schools are clearly pretty similar in a number of ways and tend to be socially exclusive with significant numbers of middle class kids. Some Comps are also like this. It is also the case that some independents aren't full of rich people but most parents are working very hard and making bug sacrifices for the fees - some of these independents are great and others offer similar or less than many state schools.

So choose based on the actual schools and you as a family, rather than just on a state vs Independnet theoretical debate.

[Lifeisshortbuytheshoes]

My sister and I were moved from private prep school to state secondary (grammar) and it was awful. She went into Year 9 and was bullied terribly, ended up changing the way she talked, acted, her whole personality just to survive. I was younger and got badly teased but luckily not bullied, I hated every minute. We then moved areas (back to near the Prep) and sister moved into private senior school and suffered again this time because of her new accent etc. I was moved back to my old Prep which was even worse as I no longer fitted in, I was a year behind academically and all my friends had made new friends and I was an outsider. I hated school for those years and sister never really recovered, went massively off the rails in teenage years.


So for all the positive stories, be aware there is the risk it could be a bad move...

[AlwaysHungryAlwaysTired]

We moved both our DS from private to (partially selective) state secondary at 11. Like you, we worried over the decision but it has turned out to be a great move. Both are happy, achieving just as highly as they would have done I'm sure, aiming for top universities, confident, involved, with great groups of friends. We have been able to afford to spend more time (and holidays) with them than we otherwise would have done and they have been able to go on some amazing school trips, including ski trips and sports tours, that we would not have been able to afford had they stayed at private school. They have benefitted from being more local to home and their independence (and lack of 'entitlement') is lovely to see. Do I think their secondary school is 'as good' as the private schools they might have gone to? I don't know. The facilities aren't as good, the teaching ranges from excellent to not so good, and I would fear that 'middle' children could get lost - but this can be true in the private sector too. The communication between school and home is not as good as in the private sector from all I can gather. But I think the outcomes for both of our children (who differ in ability and personality considerably) are going to be much the same. I think they are both reaching their potential and, much more importantly to us, they are both happy, healthy, well-grounded, well-rounded and have a good work ethic.

Only you can make your own choice as there are so many variables, but hope this helps. Whichever decision you make, with supportive parents I'm sure your child will be fine.

[BubblesBuddy]

I did not say the schools don’t know where the pupils come from, obviously they do. What I said was that this is not shared with individual teachers. That data is protected these days and confined to those who need to know. A great deal of effort goes into getting children to gel and pointing out differences isn’t the way to do it. Old stories of children having to stand up and say where they used to go to school just doesn’t happen any more.

There might be casual chat between the pupils. That’s normal but it’s chat that disappears quickly as friendships are formed on the basis of other factors.

My DD worked out for herself that no-one in her year group was state educated prior to going to the school. This was never ever referred to by teachers.

[ReelingLush18]

the other has had a tough time with bullies and a questionable education! That could equally happen in some private schools though. It's not unique to state schools.

[FozzieMK]

Both my daughters moved from private to state for sixth form. Both different establishments. One had no issues whatsoever and thrived in the local college, the other has been singled out by girls suggesting she is 'judging' them and ridiculed for being picked up in a 'nice' car and for living in a 'nice' house. They know that she came from private school because there were boys from the local prestigious boarding school there too. All of the boys flunked out and to be honest I am not that impressed with the standard of teaching and administration. I have found it hard not being kept in the loop and basically any complaint from me falling on deaf ears, which didn't happen in the private schools. So mine is a tale of two halves, one daughter had no problems, did better than at the private school and is now at Uni (something the private school thought would never happen) and the other has had a tough time with bullies and a questionable education!

[Nonsense55]

My DD moved from a private prep to state for year 7 entry. We chose a normal local state school over privates and have been really happy with that decision. My DD is happy and motivated and not stresssed and anxious. She has a varied lovely group of friends all of whom want to do really well. There is a lot of myth out there about state schools mainly propagated by people who have never set foot in a state school and have all sorts of weird bias. I would talk to people with children at the school and also remember that 93% of our society go to state school! I have never never regretted our decision.

[ReelingLush18]

DS is at a super-selective and I'm given to understand that a small but steady stream of local prep school boys enter his school at 11. I don't think there tend to be any issues of adjustment but I'm confident that's partly because many of the children are from very similar socio-economic backgrounds.

There is not necessarily the divide between state and privately school educated children that many think. It really depends on the schools in question. In London there are many state primaries in very 'naice' areas which are basically in all but name (and no-fees) great prep schools in disguise. I give you Bishop Gilpin (Wimbledon) and St Anselm's (Tooting), curiously both outstanding faith schools, as just two examples.

Yes, I'm also aware of many young people moving from private education into the state sector for sixth form provision. As an example, I recall being shown round by a sixth former at Graveney (whose mufti clothes made him look as if he's stepped out of Eton) who had transferred in from Dulwich College after GCSEs.

[DullAndOld]

when I moved from private to state, on the first day, the teacher made me stand up and tell everyone which school I had come from....

ye that was a long time ago too....

[TammyWhyNot]

Interesting, SpaceCadet: round here it is a very popular move from private to state for sixth form.

[TammyWhyNot]

Loads of kids go from private to our comprehensive.

Transition to a new school for Yr 7 is always a biggish thing, for all children. A state school is just...a school. Don’t Overthink it.

Very sorry a pp had a grim experience. I doubt a secondary school these days would single a child out in that way.

[spacecadet48]

Bubbles" depending on what state you choose some do know where your DC is coming from. In London a large number of schools have their own supplementary form you complete. A lot of the schools do tests as they take a selection from across each band and some offer music and sports scholarships. For some on this thread they moved to and 'outstanding state'. Unfortunately not all states are and if your moving a DC from a prep you would need to make sure it's the right fit. Interestingly all my DC went to state primary and all have gone to private at 11. I wouldn't now consider moving them into the state system and certainly not at 6th form after my eldest experience. However that's my choice and I wouldn't judge others for their choices. Good luck Boygirl*

[boygirl118]

BubblesBuddy Thanks. I agree with you. the reason we went to prep for our son was smaller classes and more sport. But he is very different now at 10 to what he was at 4/5.

[BubblesBuddy]

I think, op, that if you feel out of place continuing with Private, then don’t do it. I don’t think individual teachers in a secondary school do not have a clue which school a child has come from. Why would they? It’s not discussed in a staff meeting!

Don’t assume angst over education is confined to the private sector. There’s plenty of competitive parents in state schools! Some would jump immediately from state to Private if they could. Don’t assume all parents will be like you.

I did say that it made me wonder what the money situation was when parents accepted a secondary modern. They might as well not have paid a penny because you could get straight in and clearly it wasn’t a fast track to a grammar school. So what did the prep actually get? I tend to think that with admission to the grammar schools too. Anyone would think state primary children can’t get into them. They can. Only pay if you get something extra whether that’s destination school or something special regarding teaching and extra curricular.

[mumsiedarlingrevolta]

Both my DS and DD did this-both were fantastic moves.

They are happy and thriving.

DS great results and represented GB in his sport from his secondary and now at RG Uni (MN holy grail)

DD in L6th. It is an Outstanding local school but so many opportunities and she loves it. Best thing we ever did.

[borntobequiet]

We used to get this at the school I taught in.
Child attends prep school aiming to pass 11+ to Grammar.
Child fails 11+, shock horror for some.
Child enrols at our school, is happy and well taught.
Child gets good GCSEs, enters 6th form.
Child gets acceptable/good A level grades.
Child goes to University, gets good degree, all is well.
OK sometimes (rarely) it didn't follow this pattern but because of other circumstances.

[Yvest]

We’ve done it with both of ours and no regrets at all. It’s one of the top performing comps in the country and although the sport, music and drama aren’t as good as they would be in private school it’s a very very good school with a lovely ethos and both children have settled well and have a lovely group of friends. Eldest is predicted all 7,8 &9’s and he has great teachers and is ambitious for his future as are all his friends. I’m very glad we’re not paying even though we could afford to.

[boygirl118]

Thank you very much for such an honest message. I really appreciate the advice.

[Bufferingkisses]

Sorry, had to sort DC. My parents knew some of it, I struggled to tell them all of it because I didn't want them to knock themselves out paying for me to go back (I was that sort of child).

The problem is every person and every situation is individual. I was not resilient or self assured. If I had been the outcome would have been different. Also each school is different, had my teachers been sensitive it could have been different. Again groups of children are different, a group less hung up on certain things wouldn't have treated me the way they did.

I suffered a "perfect storm" of events. Of course it's possible that another dc will suffer the same however it is most likely that most outcomes will be somewhere in the middle with a few excellent outcomes.

My sharing wasn't meant to stop you, more to warn you to go in with your eyes - and communication routes - wide open.

[spacecadet48]

We moved our DS to our 'sought after state' at sixth form from a private school. It was truly awful, he was still learning the syllabus the week before his A level, he was looked down upon as he questioned them and they didn't like it. He was advised that he was setting his standards too high with uni choices and didn't want him choosing RG. They didn't support or value extra curricular and when he went out and got rugby sponsorship with two other boys for the school they didn't even acknowledge his effort and focused on the two other boys. Don't get me wrong my DS is bloody hardwork and at times a right lazy .... but his other school new that but never stopped trying with him to reach his potential. I should have left him at a school where his opinions were valued and he was pushed to always do better. My DS ended up switching off. He passed his A levels but not enough to get into his chosen uni and he decided to stay at home, self study and re sit them. This he did and got A* and got better uni offers with him being at home than he did when he was at school! Now don't get me wrong a lot of other DC did the same and did very well with the move, however it doesn't always work for all.