Should I send my kid to a grammar school

[Mamahen999]

Ds1 is really bright high 11 plus score . Grammar would involve a bus journey but not too bad. I'm rural so would take a little planning. Family and friends are really against this. In fact I'm feeling quite upset at the negativity about it. Local comp was in educ dept intervention as a failing school until last couple years. Turning round and kids seem to love it but falling intake. As a kid I was offered a grammar place but the family decided I shouldn't go as bright kids do well anywhere. I was bullied year 8 and 9 but came into my own and was very very happy at comp. I got middling GCSEs but got notes from grammar friends and went to technical college at night to get me the excellent a levels I needed for the high level uni course I wanted. I succeeded academically in spite of the school but the life lessons in schooling with diverse pupils was invaluable . Family Nd friends are so negative via they all went comp. none of my family went to grammar. They keep saying he'll do well anywhere but I remember vividly the underachievement of boys. Even I had to hide the fact I was studying . it wasn't cool. Yet the grammar school is made up entirely of middle class parents ( my education has made me one too) sending ds1 to grammar is saying to them all I don't agree with your choices but my bright boy is telling me mum I'll have more opportunities there. Maybe he's the bright one . I dunno but I cannot believe the negativity and hostility . Views folks.

[BertrandRussell]

Neither were tutored.

[Marniasmum]

Really bertrandru?ssell I could have sworn you had posted before about your DS who failed the 11+?

[SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace]

That's literally what bertrand just said ...

[Marniasmum]

I posted:"let me guess Blu and Bert, you both have children who didn't pass?"

At 14.25 Bertranrussell posted "Wrong, marnia."

And then later in the day remembered she did have a child who had failed the 11+!

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

Wow Marnia what a deeply unpleasant line of questioning you have. How totally unnecessary and spiteful.

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

I suppose it just goes to show that EI is just as necessary to success in life as IQ.

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

Hmm to pick on one poster and identify them as having a child that "failed"? I'd say that's pretty spiteful.

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

The undertone being that if you have a child that "failed" then any comments that you may make are just sour grapes. It's a sideswipe designed to undermine, IMO

[Marniasmum]

ErgonomicallUnsound It was in response to her claim that all 11+ passers had spent their childhood being forced to do practice papers.Which as well as being untrue was clearly meant to be goady.

[Marniasmum]

Sorry I must apologise to Bert it was Blu who said "not to mention the children who have proved that they will sit still, do as they are told and do endless test routines as part of the tutoring since Yr 4 "

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

Well I find it super offensive. I read it as "Let me guess, you have kids that failed. Yeah yeah that's what all the failures say. My kids, OTOH, are genii who don't need tutoring."

Yuk.

[Marniasmum]

Why do you find it offensive??

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

Because branding someone's kid as a failure at 11 is offensive. Calling them out on it as an individual is offensive.

It's certainly not how I choose to behave.

[ErgonomicallyUnsound]

It's bullying.

[Marniasmum]

Who I have branded a failure? Are you equating failing the 11+ with 'being a failure'.I certainly wasn't!

[BertrandRussell]

"I posted:"let me guess Blu and Bert, you both have children who didn't pass?"

At 14.25 Bertranrussell posted "Wrong, marnia."

And then later in the day remembered she did have a child who had failed the 11+!"

*My "wrong" was directed to your unpleasant implication that only people who have a child that has failed have any issues at all with the 11+. I have one that passed and one that failed. And I have had issues with the 11+ system since my first child started reception!

Oh, and incidentally- you must be a very speedy person if you consider just over a minute "later in the day"........ .

[BertrandRussell]

"It's so much more acceptable to be spiteful about grammar school kids though, private school ones are always fair game too."

Gosh. I don't think there was any spite towards children was there? But it seems to me that the only kids who are "fair game" on mumsnet are the ones that people "move heaven and earth" to get their children away from.