After school care at secondary school?

[3Kids3]

We live in SE London and have our eldest transferring to secondary. Until now I have always used the Afterschool care attached to the school however this won't be an option in year 7. Do any secondary schools run after school care for years 7, 8 and 9? I'd be happy to leave her at home until I return from work by year 10 but not until then really. I don't want the expense of a nanny and childminders are unappealing as she prefers to be in a larger group with space to run around and structured activities.
What do others do in this situation?

[AhBut]

I'm puzzled that despite your professional background and strong views about safeguarding you've left it until 5 weeks before school starts to consider this. The two don't add up for me!
Surely you've thought about plan A and I would imagine most of us have plans B, C ... in case one doesn't work out.
Like others have said, year 7 children don't go to childminders .. Though it's worth having one who would be willing to take her as an extra (at 12 they don't count in childminders' numbers) in case she suddenly doesn't want to go home alone. Clubs are good but like others have said you can't guarantee she'll get in, or that they always run. And late finishes at a club or in the library mean walking home in the dark - would you be happy with that? At least at 3.30 it's light and there's lots of people around.
Like you I work, and I'm over an hour away. We did a mix of clubs, cleaner changed her hours to be in until 6, and had a teenager come and sit in the house. Library was a non started when DS realised he was the only one! Teenager fizzled out by January. And he's been fine, if I get a call from him it's usually because there's a problem and I've learnt to accept that no news is good news.

[AngieBolen]

I'm presuming child is currently in Y5 or younger....if just finished Y6, school would already have been allocated, and OP would know about after school clubs/care for KS3.

Personally I couldn't imagine my 10yo ever being OK alone at home....but her elder siblings seemed to manage just fine by the time they were in Y7

[Blinkinwinkin]

I have one dc in senior school and another in junior, so we need care for the youngest, which the oldest benefits from as well.
We employ a mature lady - Granny-nanny - a local lady who likes the small amount of hours to work each day. She can cook, pop a wash on, drive them about, cheer from the sidelines at an after-school sports match, encourage music practice.. . She's remarkably good with the "teenage chat." She's been there and done it. It's been a marvellous solution for us. That might work for you?

[MilkRunningOutAgain]

My DS is on his own for about 2 1/2 hours after school til I get in having picked up his younger sister from the childminders. Some days it's less as he goes to a club. And I only work 4 days a week and sometimes work from home, so it isn't every day. He can get a snack ( someone earlier said tell your 11 year old not to use the cooker? I find it hard to believe that a child can get to 11 without being able to fend a bit for themselves, surely they can make beans on toast?), do homework, neither his old childminders nor the after school club were any good for this, no space provided and too noisy and busy, and, get his choice of TV for an hour or 2. He goes out for a cycle ride or a run too. I was worried last September when he started yr 7 but decided I was being over protective and so decided to try him being home alone, though I would have tried to rearrange my hours if it hadn't worked. But he's fine. He always texts me a few times, he knows to call if anything worries him, not that anything ever has. Mainly he wants to know what's for dinner!

[CountryLovingGirl]

My son starts year 7 this September too and I am worried about leaving him alone after school. I work 3 days a week but in another town 25 miles away (the commute can be bad at times). DH works full time but shifts so he is often here before 3pm.
DS is going to a school 3 miles away and will get the school bus (we have to pay for it). He, along with his 7 year old sister, have always gone to a local childminder's house when we needed her after school (and in the hols). The other year 6's (who have just left primary) aren't going from September but they all have family locally to watch out for them...we don't.
There is a homework club until 5pm but (a) he would miss his bus place that we have already paid for and (b) it would mean a trek for us across town to pick him up (it can take an hour there and back).
I get home at 6pm, or just before (I finish at 5pm). I know the bus gets back at 4.15-4.20 from school. I am thinking of dropping 1 hour a day and not using childcare for him after school. I would be home not long after he gets in. I would lose £17 for losing the hour at work each day but save £11 in childcare. I suppose it isn't that bad really.
He has boys (and girls) knocking on the door for him all the time now and I just wouldn't trust him to be alone for 2 hours! He can be very silly and immature at times.

[bigTillyMint]

OP, my DC are in a school in SE London. There are after-school clubs every night AFAIK - mostly sports/music, and they can use the library till late if they want. Even if they don't say for clubs, travel means that they don't get in till 4 or 5 depending on the day (different finish times)

Have you thought about getting a "housekeeper" to come in at say 4, do some cleaning/ironing/supervise homework and cook dinner till you get in. That way they could have friends back/go to friends, etc the same as others?

[SomewhereIBelong]

I have worked as a "mothers help" from time to time for a friend who had an older SN boy coming home to an empty house for 3 hours plus...

Worked well - that way child goes to their own home, has own stuff, has no excuse to not sit down and get on with homework etc. Routines can be kept to. Added plus was I did some ironing and a bit of hoovering or cleaned the bathroom/kitchen/whatever whilst loosely "minding" child chivvying them to get homework done whilst not eating the whole fridge contents and I got some money to pay for holidays etc.

[GasLIghtShining]

I think part of it depends on the child - how mature they are and whether they want to be left on their own.

I worked school hours when my DD started in Y7 so after school wasn't an issue but she hated the holiday clubs which stopped when they got to 12 anyway. So she stayed at home. Hopped on a bus to meet friends if she wanted but was also happy to be at home. I worked in the same town and DH worked even closer closer and would come home for lunch although he was out on business a lot of the time.

I did find a holiday club for my DS which rather than the normal 5-11 was 8-14 and was brilliant. But again once he was Y7 he wanted to stop at home as DD was allowed to and of course by then she was home and coudl supervise.

[AChickenCalledKorma]

It's not totally true to say Year 7 children "don't go to childminders". My friend is a childminder and has a couple of Year 7 and 8 students coming to her after school. She also has a daughter the same age and they hang out together quite happily.

How you would go about finding such a person, I don't know, but they do exist.

I also think that going straight from always being in childcare after school, to being alone at home till 6:30pm every night would be a big leap, even if your daughter is happy with it. Personally, I have taken the hit and work a 22 hour week, coming home at 3:30pm every day. That after school time with my 9 and 13 year old daughters has been valuable.

BUT I'm also now leaving the 13yo at home while I'm at work during the summer holidays. They really do grow up a lot during year 7 and 8 and both she and I are happy with this. She's enjoying organising herself to see friends etc and we keep in touch by phone.

[Blu]

Secondary school kids are fine for a while on their own, but many Yr 7s are still 11 until the last term. I would not have wanted to leave DS aged 11 at home alone from 3.30 - 6.30 every single day after school. Our London secondary finishes at 3.15 and as catchments are tight here, they can be home by 3.25!

Also starting secondary can take a little support to make the transition smooth - helping them get to grips with the heavier homework regime etc., listening to any issues (though uncommunicative non-committal grunts are more normal)

OP do you have any flexibility to do flexi-hours? Do you have a DP or DH who could work flexi or compressed hours? And start early and come home earlier? Or work from home a couple of days a week between you? And work this around after school clubs or library homework sessions?

If you have younger children can you arrange after school childcare at home so that the nanny / au pair / babysitter is ostensibly there for the younger one/s but is also starting to prepare tea etc for everyone?

[Blu]

You can get after school nannies/ nannying housekeepers - try Gumtree, SimplyChildcare etc.

Lots of good people want p/t work while they study in the morning, or have another childcare job that covers someone who works mornings etc.

Just don't tell your child they are a 'nanny'. The expense isn't huge but for a few evenings a week....

Also secondary school aged kids can go to the park and meet friends for the running about time.

[Seeline]

It seems weird how a lot of PPs seem quite happy with their kids going off to town for coffees/window shopping etc with mates, or going off to the park etc after school, when really they have no idea exactly where the children are/who they're with/what they're doing but seem unhappy having the DCs in their own house for a few hours

Ultimately it really does depend on each individual child I think. I have always been happier giving my younger DD responsibilities at a much younger age than my older DS, simply because she has always been much more sensible.

[NannyFlower]

Sorry people are being quite harsh towards you OP.

We should all be doing what feels right for OUR children. I was very independent and age 11 got a bus and picked up my 7 year old brother from after sch club that ended at 4, got us both a bus home and looked after him until mum was home at 530 and was absolutely fine. My younger brother however was a very young 11 year old who still liked to play with toys and would eat the entire junk food cupboard if left alone- and so he went to a childminder for year 7.

It's such a personal choice. If you feel your DD isn't ready to be left alone, you are the best judge of that.

Is there enough after school clubs that she could do for an hour or so and then be home alone just for an hour to do homework perhaps? It could be a compromise of some structured activity and some responsibility for her.

[LooseAtTheSeams]

I think most London schools have a homework club after school but you have to book your child in for this. (I tried just sending mine and he got redirected to the library! The reason is it's supervised so they can give help if needed.) One mum I know used homework club and asked a rota of people to have her DS after school on Fridays. She reciprocated with a sleepover at the weekend! The DS came to us around once a fortnight/three weeks.
To be honest, given your circumstances I'd ditch the afterschool club at primary for the younger two and get an after-school nanny for them. Then tell the eldest that of course s/he isn't her nanny but there for the younger children! She would then be free to do activities at school and come back later or go off to a friend's house just as long as she kept you or the nanny informed of her whereabouts.

[GasLIghtShining]

I think Loose has come up with a good idea

[yesbutnobut]

OP, I have twice very successfully found after school care for 3 hours a day by advertising on Gumtree. I was also looking for someone to do full days during the school holidays (not sure if you need this as well). If you place such an ad you will be inundated with replies, especially in London; there are loads of students, actors, etc looking for work. I recruited two fabulous carers this way, both of whom have become firm friends of the family. Of course you need to take up references but I'm sure I don't need to mention this.

I found that once my DD was in year 8, she was so involved in after school clubs, or matches, dance lessons, etc, that I didn't need to employ someone to look after her after school.

[summerflowers]

My son found it a bit lonesome coming home to an empty house
I used a variety of measures over the early secondary school years.
I paid a woman who also worked as a cleaner during the day to come for two hours after school.
She put on the tea, bit of tidying up and was just around if needed.
I also had a local young teaching assistant and a 6 th former who did the same.
Also my son went to a friends who was a child minder and I discreetly paid her
He also would go to a junior gym, basket ball club etc
Good luck
I know how worrying it can be and it doesn't help people giving really judgemental answers

[summerflowers]

Sorry - that should read "went to his friend's house whose mother was a child minder"

[anewyear]

"There aren't any after school clubs for secondary usually, it does seem to be a lack of thought from childcare providers"

As a Childminder, who only does after school, I would mind yr7 & 8s no problem.