I think it's important that the uni application process isn't "parents help me research, parents take me to open days, parents ring up the admissions dept with any issues, parents help me with my application, parents take me to interviews, parents sort out my finance, parents sort out my accommodation, the very first time they're not the ones driving the process is when they drop me off to start the first term and go home."
Frankly, Skylark, that's what I fear for DS (who has some SEN). If we drive things along, he could end up starting and failing a course he doesn't really want to do.
If we stop driving things along, he will drift into a sort of paralysis of indecision and fear. He does this for any change, not just the big ones. Elephant's description of 'shy 10-year-olds' is about right for DS.
Without some sort of structure to his life, though, and some contact with people his age, he becomes very rapidly and seriously depressed. Oh the joys...