Financial Help / Bursaries

[ElleSusanne]

Our daughter attends an independent secondary school on a full fee paying place. Shortly after she joined our household income dived to less than £24,000 p.a. due to the resession and her grandparents stepped in and loaned us the school fees for the past two years. However, they are now struggling and can no longer afford to help us. We now have to decide whether to move her to the state system or go cap in hand to the school. However, we have over £1,000,000 equity in our house (have lived here for 20 years), which I know sounds a lot but we do not earn enough to re-mortgage or even change our provider (we still owe £300,000). We also have around £15,000 savings for emergencies, which we actually owe the grandparents for the fees but they have kindly said we can sit on the money for now as it gives us security in case of broken boiler; car repairs etc - none of which can be funded from our income.
Wondering whether anyone has had a similar experience, i.e. applied for a bursary with property equity and savings, and whether it's worth asking the school for help or would they expect us to sell the house? I know the answer is to just ask them but it's not something we will find easy to do, especially if it's a crazy notion due to the property equity. I know on paper we sound well off but we are really struggling with day to day cost of living. Thank you! :)

Yup married you right sorry I should go on the proof reading course instead of you! . What I was trying to say unsuccessfully is that if I paid the full amount which I don't it would cost nearly £3000 PCM by the time the extra have been added in. On £87k a year this is simply not affordable. By the time rent utilities council tax patrol etc (not food clothes etc) has been if we paid that much we would only have £250 PCM left.
Our bursary is generous but we pay significantly more than £3000 a term.
By the way I don't just have one child I'm not sure why you think I do.

Because you said "my other DS's lunch, bus fare come to £125" .

Pax eh. I don't have an issue with bursaries per se and tried to be supportive towards the OP.

married the problem is that school fees are in reality out of the reach of the vast majority of the population. Obviously not all who want too can send their DC's even if there was enough money because they're simply isn't enough spaces. But so many think that they as individual families wouldn't qualify for a whole variety one so don't even bother to try. We found out by accident nearly 9 years ago we had a friend who knew someone who knew someone who said his prep school were offering bursaries and so we've been in a receipt of a bursary of some description for a long time and know how the system works. But many people don't and Im keen to tell them because I know what a difference it has made to my DS.
The saddest thing is that now bursaries are being targeted at the most able and it's a scholarship by another name. IMO it's actually the child who maybe on paper looks less bright, the one that struggles at times, is over looked by his state school, the one who isn't a grade 8 violinist/oboist/organist and who doesn't represents GB in his chosen sport, who would really benefit from a bursary into a decent boarding school. Sadly most schools that offer bursaries don't want those children.

middle I think you are spot on re bursaries being scholarships in disguise. Most schools no longer offer bursaries unless a prospective pupil has been awarded a scholarship first. Harrow certainly do that. Eton still offer bursaries unconnected to scholarships and seem to want to encourage applications from boys who would benefit from what the school has to offer.

Ds has a high non-means tested scholarship at his current school and will need an even higher percentage scholarship/bursary for senior school.

On a slightly different note and purely cos I am trying to understand how it works, to both middle and married, what makes your child different and needing a private school in your opinion. My daughter has just gone into year 7 of a slightly above average comp and left year 6 with level 6b maths, level 6c reading and 5b grammar/spelling and plays grade 3/4 piano. She is, in my opinion, clever but not outstanding. She likes school and finds it easy but not unchallenging and boring. She fits in and is quieter than some but is sociable. I guess reading your bursary comments have made me think "am I doing the best for her?". What makes your children different to this, if anything, if you don't mind me asking.

If ds were at state school I think he would be lost. Very bright but with issues that affect his schooling but which probably aren't bad enough to get him a statement. His school are bending over to help him achieve his potential in every way they can. I know he wouldn't get that level of support at state school (I know because of close friends' experiences of fighting to get their dcs statemented and how long and hard the battles were).

Most dcs at private school are exactly the same as their peers at state school. The one thing that private school but in smaller classes with less disruption. A friend of mine with a dc the same age as ds said our local state school teachers had to do an element of crowd control in their lessons. That just doesn't happen in private schools.

Our children go (well DS has now left) to private schools for the following reasons:

DS: Is very clever indeed, very sporty, very sociable and at about 8 started to get very bored at primary. He is also very alpha and has always landed right in the centre of that little group of alpha "in crowd" boys. We decided he needed to be intellectually and physically stretched and if he was going to put down his roots with the alpha crowd then he would be in better company in the local private school than the local comprehensive.

DD: Is top average, quiet and very musical although totally unsporty. We actuallly sent her in Y7 to a top performing girls school with an enviable reputation. With a change of head there was a change in expectations and a significant downward shift in behaviour which was dreadful and very disruptive and dd found this very upsetting. The school was not prepared to deal with the behaviour on the basis that the girls behaving badly had other "problems". We moved her after the end of Y8 which is a natural time to move in the indy sector largely because she was not coping with the environment. We made a dreadful mistake with DD and I don't know what we would have done if we hadn't had the money to pull her out because she became terribly unhappy and there were no other state options.

Add to that the fact that we think education is very important and wanted to ensure that our children had access to a choice of modern foreign languages, three sciences and a classical language and that is rare to find where we live and that is the reason why. Other reasons are more specialist teaching between the ages of 7-11, ie, Maths is taught by a maths teacher, English, French, Science, History, etc.; the fact that poor teaching performance is dealt with quickly and parents are listened to more readily.

DD's school is quite small and nurturing but DS's was huge in spite of the fees. Bear in mind also that we are in inner London and I'm not sure London choices can be compared always to those elsewhere where populations might be more homogenous and more stable.

We actually tried very hard to make the state system work for our children and were delighted with the primary school they attended although it did not provide enough stretch for DS. We also learnt very early on that children, even from the same pod, are very different and one size does not fit all.

Ultimately, however, and not wanting to upset anybody, we had the choice because we have the money and could easily afford that choice. If we had not been able to pay the fees we would have tutored DS a bit; probably got him into a grammar such as Tiffin or Sutton and/or we would have moved out a bit to an area where the schools were better. I do honestly think that if you can't be sure of affording the fees a child's life is better enriched by nice holidays, some tutoring to fill in the gaps, and a generally comfortable life than by living like church mice.

Final point - our DC are both linguists - one ancient; one modern and this is a curriculum area which really is no longer being met, in my experience, in state schools - certainly not where we live.

Thank you married. Am also in the category where if we stretched to it (and even then with a bursary) we would be living like field mice, although my husband does well v well amongst my friends. We too have also taken the view that we would rather give the children experiences such as holidays if it was an either/or situation. After all, my eldest is now at a Russell group uni doing a v competitive subject having hot A*AA to get there and is finding that the majority of those on her course are private school educated, yet she got there without it. On the other hand, my year 7 daughter's best friend has just started a private school and the experience does undoubtedly sound better! For example, an older bit said to my daughter "get out the f-ing way" (she had gone into secondary school not knowing the f word believe it or not!) on the same day that her friend was surprised by her class mates saying "thanks sir, that was a great lesson" to the maths teacher!