150k EDUCATION DD WANTS TO DO HAIR AND BEAUTY BTEC AT FE COLLEGE

[helenjackson2]

HI I AM NEW TO THIS FOURUM.DD CURRENTLY AT TOP GIRLS BOARDING SCHOOL SOUTH EAST.10GCSE GRADE A A* EXPECTED OXBRIDGE POTENTIAL.WANTS TO DO BTEC IN HAIR AND BEAUTY AT LOCAL FE COLLEGE WHAT CAN I DO TO STOP HER STUPID AND IDIOTIC IDEA.HELP

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Wow, she's done so well with her GCSE's - that's a brilliant start !

I think I might encourage her to get a Saturday job in a hairdressers or even just the odd day if that's more practical ? A day of washing people's hair is quite likely to put her off I reckon ?

Look at the positives, it's good that she's started to think of possibilities.
My DD (13) has started to look in her school careers library and was recently researching some course options that I doubt will end up as her final choice, but I gave her some encouragement, as much for the process as the actual idea itself ? And DS (11) thinks he'd like to be a fire-fighter - again I applauded and encouraged the idea of wanting to help others. It's not impossible that he will continue to pursue this but I'm aware there are other options (and am a bit nervous at idea of my DS going into burning buildings on a regular basis )

Also agree can you talk to friends with interesting jobs/ careers and/or visit some Uni's on their open days ?

[Cezzy]

There are lots of opportunities in this field, film theatre and tv make up and hair, wig making, travel, she could have her own business one day. You can achieve great success in any field if you have the brains and enthusiasm which she may well have from what you say. Oxbridge doesn't guarantee success especially if she isn't happy.

[noddyholder]

Life isn't like that. I know lots of people who went back to education later when they were ready. If you force her down a route she is not into she will likely fail. Just because you think it is better to do things in the traditional way does not mean it is for everyone. My education wasn't wanted as such but I knew what I wanted at 16/17 and it didn't change.FWIW I think she is more likely to tire of the hairdressing and re enter formal education rather than the other way round as she will resent doing A levels and feel it is not her choice. It is a difficult age.

[noddyholder]

ALl this concern is snobbery in disguise! Typical mumsnet!

[beautyjockey]

You have of course done those things and knowall about it do you cezzy?
TV and film make up and such things are very hard to get into. Mostly those who do that know someone or have parents around the industry who get them in. Many start off by being runners and do not go to college and train with a BTec etc. It's OK if you know the someone.

Working on cruise liners or at Butlins or even running a business looks glam but I can tell you that it isn't. The hours are long, the pay awful and you are a servant and treated as one. You would be better employed as scivvy in Downton Abby at the turn of the last century. Especially running a business - you make about 10p for every £1 in the till realistically because of all the taxes and over heads. Hours are much longer too. Pay in these trades is very poor for the majority. It looks good on the surface but underneath it isn't.

[PureQuintessence]

Bikerunski your mother has a point! My dads friends were all electricians, carpenters, plumbers, and in those days people did personal favours and helped mates for free, or in exchange for another good turn. He never had to call any company or firm to fix anything in our house when I grew up, there was always a friend around! I told my dad I had very little use of all my academic friends!

My cousin is very lucky, her uncle is a builder, her second cousin a decorator, her brother in law an electrician, she has not ever paid even a penny.

I hope my sons will chose to become Doctors and Chiropractors! If not builders!

[acceptableinthe80s]

Whilst it may not be the most worthwhile career it's certainly pretty lucrative especially if you set up your own business. I have a couple of friends in this field and they can easily make several hundred pounds a day and up to £1000 for a wedding doing make-up/hair. I went down the 'worthwhile' career route and my friends earn way more than me.
I think it's great your daughter knows what she wants to do, i didn't have a clue at that age.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Quint - we have nothing useful in a practical sense in our family. Not a carpenter or plumber or anything.

We do have a few Drs, and a lawyer which is handy, but the rest of us do things which are fairly lucrative but are no use to friends and family.

[GooseyLoosey]

My dh "knew" what he wanted to do at 16. Unfortunately it was not what he wanted to do at 20 and by then, it was not so easy to change. All I am saying is that she should keep doors open for herself and not close them.

Dh is a professor now but even so, his earlier choices still affect his career as he is too old to become vice chancellor for example and he regrets that. He did not leave himself enough time to get to where he wanted to.

[Wishiwasanheiress]

She's stupid and idiotic to do a course where

She can be her own boss
Open her own firm
Work in film tv etc (u sound shallow enough to think THAT'S VIP)
Manage family and career as she wishes time wise
Be creative and academic (finance management ffs)
Travel the world and maybe emigrate coz if I was her I'd be aiming at anything that got me away from ur crazy attitude

[noddyholder]

Having a good supportive parent will help her keep her options open If she is forced down a road she doesn't want she would find it very difficult to approach her mum if she has made a mistake. Whereas if she feels supported and then realises maybe she should do A levels it won't feel like such a 'backing down' and we all know how teenagers like to back down!

[noddyholder]

I know several tv and film make up and hair stylists and a few fashion stylists. All love their work which is more important to some than money.

[helenjackson2]

Thanks"Need more sleep for you kind and thoughtful words".It all started in December when Unbeknown to me DD went to a Open Day at the local Further Education College and started talking to these 3 Girls from the local "high school Secondary modern" . They said they wanted to do Hair and Beauty National 2 Yr Course but it was unlikely that would get the G.C.S.E Needed for that so would have to do the BTEC FIRST COURSE.DD was angry at the Education Systym had let these Girls down. She came back to me and said i wil show them and said she would do the BTEC FIRST COURSE . DD wants to change the world She is so Caring and kind. She went and told her House Mistress this she could not belive what she was hearing and when DD told her she was Serious said"NOT ONE OF OUR GIRLS IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SCHOOL HAS DONE SUCH A SILLY AND STUPID THING AS THIS" DDs House Mistress is Pulling her hair out trying to deal with this. I am aware that Girls in Hothouse Academic Schools can go a bit crazy one suggestion from the HEAD is that If DD gets 10G.C.S.E GRADES A A* she could have her one year GAP year and come back in a years time this could be a Blueprint for Academic girls Schools dealing with Depression Anorexia. What worries me though is that if she is doing a Course that is so easy for her will she be able to get back to the standard required for A levels.Meanwhile i keep getting calls from the A level Coordinator telling me that DD "WOULD BE THE BEST A LEVEL STUDENT THERE WOULD HAVE" I TELL HIM SHE IS NOT GOING TO HIS DAM FE COLLEGE TO DO A LEVELS"

[Wishiwasanheiress]

My advice to ur daughter is IGNORE all those above that say you can't do this. If u couldn't it wouldn't exist. Try it and u might end up with ur own firm and training school in theatre/stage make up in LA

Work hard and it's possible. Sit still and well, ur just in your bedroom in ur mums house aren't u?

[beautyjockey]

The real problem is that once you leave for the vocational route it is not easy to re enter formal education.

Getting into A levels is the worst case scenario if you leave at 16. The options left are not the best. Good schools are closed off and so FE or home study are the only places left. Then there is the cost and the fact you will be older, both those work against returning. It is not encouraged to go from vocational to academia.
Neither is it the same experience in university. It is the way the system works.

Get the A levels at the very least and it is possible to change route afterwards and still come back to university but you will have lost ground and it is unlikely you will achieve what you might want then. Until you have had to try and do it, you do not realise the obsticles. In theory it is possible, in practice, the doors just do not open.

[Wishiwasanheiress]

Some of the posts here are nuts. Used to be a day where u went to Uni as u were interested in learning, in discussion and broadening ur mind not because u wanted a shot with Alan sugar tv prog or just to get a job.

The devaluation of our education is simply mind boggling to me. Blair et al really screwed it up to stop apprenticeships and make this the only route to success....

Ur daughter doesn't need a degree if she doesn't want one at this stage. What she will need is fire in her belly to work hard in her chosen route.

[noddyholder]

Before she visited the open day what careers was she interested in?

[noddyholder]

Beautyjockey you are seriously ill informed! I know lots of people who have done just that. In fact apart from lawyers and doctors everyone else I know who are doing well in careers that they love entered them late. I did and am mortgage free and in good financial shape at 47. My best friend did childcare at local college and is now a top producer headhunted regularly. She did a btec and then a typing course and didn't really work in film until she was 30. The world is a changing place and I agree with those who say drive and determination are just as important. You could also look at it from teh other POV that if she does the traditional route she will have wasted years when she could be getting her hairdressing off the ground. I wanted to go to art school and wish I had

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

OK so you have a very clear idea where this idea came from and it's all about wanting to make things better for those 3 girls she talked with at the open day.
I think it's now down to you and her house mistress/ head/ pastoral teachers to talk through all this with her. It's very natural and good to want to change the world as a teenager, but adults need to help support and direct those energies and passions in good ways, and if possible steer young people along good paths and sometimes do our best to prevent them taking options they might well regret later.

I think just take things one step at a time too. First concentrate on her GCSE's (I realise now I mis-read your OP and she hasn't done her GCSE's yet, taking them this summer ? )
Then encourage her to stay on for A levels and choose which subjects she'd most like to do. Just say she can choose what to do after that at a later stage. I think definitely let go a little of the "Oxbridge potential" thinking, and maybe just think more along the lines of "she's very bright and doing very well at her school" HTH [smle] And yes, some thinking too on whether she is happy there ?
Maybe a discussion on where would she like to do her A levels ?
Also before she sits her GCSE's she may be feeling nervous, especially with the weight of expectation on her. She may feel differently once she does have them under her belt. Let her know too that it's OK if she gets some B's or even C's or even fails some, she could re-take if needed. I think she may be finding the expectations difficult to handle, as well as understandably looking to her Auntie as a role model ?

[beautyjockey]

Been there and done it. Tell your story to someone who hasnt.

[noddyholder]

AH you sound like someone so dissatisfied and you are projecting that unto others. Not everyone fails and some people do make the right choice

[Graceparkhill]

She may very well change her mind,especially if she feels able to make her own decisions.

I would be delighted with a daughter ( or son) doing what makes them happy. A friend's daughter did beauty therapy after 14 years of fee paying school ( funded by grandparents). It wouldn't have been the family's choice of career but they supported her decision.

She now has a thriving business, a loyal clientele and is financially self sufficient in her early 20s.