If Winchester College don't accept DS1 what about Charterhouse?

[yotty]

Probably going to apply to Winchester for DS1. If he does not get offered a place would Charterhouse be an alternative? He is bright, quirky and likes drama and music, but not good at sport or art. He would have to be a full boarder as we live a short plane ride away. I'm worried that the boys will all be busy playing sport or going home at the weekend. Should I be concerned or am I just being neurotic?

[happygardening]

I dont know of any comparable school to Winchester like Eton its not everyone cup of tea but I would have thought if you like Winchester you wouldn't be happy with Charterhouse. Why dont you see if your son gets offered a place and then go from there.

[Dustylaw]

Happygardening, could you please expand a little on that comment. I'm not looking at Winchester or Charterhouse (looking for daughter not son) but I think there is something in the difference that could shed a lot of light on my visits to different schools where it is sometimes quite difficult to assess what the school is really like eg I visited a top girl's boarding school which had many strong points but somewhere along the tour it emerged by chance that the common rooms in the boarding houses had labelled seating areas for different years ie only the senior girls were allowed on the sofas.

[propatria]

I do find these type of threads rather odd,people just seem to throw in names of any private school theyve heard of.
If someone asks for advice on say a single sex ,non academic rural school,people will say have you tried...and these schools will often be totally different,dual sex ,city,academic or whatever,so someone asks about Eton they get recommened Bedales,,bizzare..
Dusty,what are you looking for,you need to narrow your search,academic,single sex,rural,sport, full boarding,flexi,day,what type of exams etc etc,give a few pointers and then hopefully people who actually know something will be able to help...

[Colleger]

I agree propatria. Once you pick a school like Winchester you have probably done a fair amount of research and discounted the rural, non-selective, co-ed school in the highlands!

[happygardening]

No we hadn't discounted the rural, co-ed school in the Highlands although we knew we wanted academically selective. Within a few weeks of my son arriving at his prep (six years ago how time flies) Winchester was suggested and the school hadn't sent a boy to Winchester for nearly 20 years; the bright and able go to Eton and our plan had been St Paul's (my husbands school). The then head suggested it and he was widely acknowledged to be brilliant at fitting the right child to the right school. But when we went to look at it on the open day I was disappointed. It was only on subsequent visits including lunch in one of the boarding houses and after being offered a place a meeting with the head that I was finally able to see what it was all about and why it was different although not necessarily better than others but better for us.
I think you have to decide what you want and perhaps more importantly what sort of person your child and your family are. Are you pushy, interested in results, universities, music, sport fussy uniforms (a big no for me). Do you and your child want co-ed single rooms, designer bathrooms or are all these things of no importance. One mum on a visit to Winchester insisted on seeing the showers, the house master was flabbergasted "madam you don?t choose whether or not to send your child to Winchester because of the bathrooms!" Try, and I know its difficult, to meet the pupils when there not on show. As the housemaster at Winchester said its not the building that matters come and meet the boys and see how boys from this house turn out. Talk to everyone you can, keep asking the same questions - the ones that matter to you ask the pupils, masters, matrons, admin staff, other parents. We looked at Stowe for my older son and were as usual late and were shown round a house by a matron she gave us the most honest appraisal of it - she loved it but we hated it because of what she said. It wasn't for us but plenty of people don?t feel that way. Don?t be influenced by other parents unless they are looking for exactly the same thing you are but its always worth listening to their views because from what they say you might get a feel for the school.
In this day and age of corporate imagery and clever marketing it is virtually impossible to separate one school from the other as one father said to me "for £30,000 PA they've all got Olympic size swimming pools, 200 acres of playing fields and books going back to the 13th century but what I want to know is what is the ethos that underpins these places". Let face it they?ve all got good teachers and bad teachers hundreds of clubs/activities and nearly all have pretty good results now a days.
We recently attended a New Men?s lunch and I came away feeling very positive about our choice; we agonised over it for months - my DS was also offered St Paul?s. I hope that in Winchester we?ve found an ethos that fits with ours, I have manage do see what makes it different but only after looking very long and hard. Good luck with your search

[Colleger]

Happygardening, there must be something about the open day because after very many years of trying to choose between Eton and Winchester I had decided on Winchester and thought I would cement my decision by taking younger son to the open day. I was very disappointed and pretty cross by some of the things said by the Head boy in his speech, and quite a number of the boys were cripplingly shy which really shocked me. So I withdrew our acceptance.

[mummytime]

propatria - it sounds a bit like the baby name threads. "please help me choose between Mark and Paul. Answer: well I think Beelzebub is the best name ever."

[grovel]

The odd thing is that you can do all the due diligence you like but you can't test one of the fundamental determinants of your child's happiness - the mix of boys/girls who will enter your child's house in the same year group.

[yotty]

I agree with happygardening, you actually have to spend some time in these schools to really get under their skin. Your opinion can also get swayed by who you meet on the day. I have now met 4 housemaster at Winchester. Ironically the first one was a completely arrogant arse (ex public schoolboy), the others were delightful(not ex public schoolboys). I grilled one of them for an hour and came away thinking, that man would really care about my son's development, both intellectually and pastorally. My husband and son had lunch at a house recently and my husband enjoyed chatting to the 14 year old boys who were all very eager to chat to him.
Unfortunately, none of us have time to spend hours at a school and I am sure most schools have not got endless time to spend with hundreds of prospective parents either, so we all have to go with elements of:does it tick most of the boxes; do we get the right vibes from the atmosphere/ethos; does our child want to go there.

[happygardening]

Yotty I'm curious which house did you choose? Maybe you dont want to say! We met one who was an unbelievable arse.

[Colleger]

I would recommend Dr Cullerne. We met him and then the "arse" and I couldn't be annoyed looking at any more because Cullerne was so great.

[grovel]

Is Cullerne housemaster of Trant's?

[happygardening]

I dont agree grovel my son is unhappy at his current boarding prep not because of the children in his year group but because of the ethos that underpins the school. There's nothing wrong with it and many thrive and enjoy it but its just not right for him and a handful of others like him.

[grovel]

happygardening, I'm sure you are right. My post was not aimed at anyone - I was just musing on one of the uncertainties for parents in the school selection process.
Both of my brothers were at Winchester (a longish time ago). They loved it. Both were useless at sport.

[Colleger]

I know it as Bramstons but they have about five different names - all very confusing!

Happygardening, lots of very able children are never very happy at their preps because a prep tends to have more of a one-size approach and I particularly find boys preps to be quite harsh.

[yotty]

I feel very fortunate that my DS who is quirky, has never had any problems with his peer group at prep school. He has a wacky sense of humor, so I think the kids think he is somewhere between mad and funny. However, it does worry me how he will get on at a boarding school. Which is why I stress about finding the right school for him if he doesn't get into Winchester. Today, I am thinking about Bryanston, which is academically at the other end of the spectrum to Winchester, but does have a liberal, arty ethos, which appeals.
Colleger, will probably be horrified! My concern about Bryanston is, will my DS have enough bright kids around him to stimulate him? Also, I wonder if it attracts the kids who have been trouble in other schools? Also, do the kids disappear to London at the weekends to go night clubbing and do drugs?

[Colleger]

I genuinely know quite a bit about Bryanston but won't go into it here. It would not be right for a quirky, very bright boy - Eton would be better! I think your son will get into Winchester by the sounds of it but if not he needs to be in an environment that is not too liberal.I know I said Winchester is liberal but not in the same way Bryanston is! If I were you I would consider a school with a very strong musical ethos as a back up as musicians are often quirky and genteel in the same way Wykemists are. King's Canterbury would be a good choice and in that area is Sevenoaks too. Sherborne is also known for it's music and a far nicer school (in terms of cohort) than Bryanston.

[happygardening]

I wouldn't touch Bryanston with a barge pole there is no provision for the super bright and they all go home at the weekend. Sit it out and see if you get a place at Winchester if you dont you've still got another two years to make a decision. My son does not fit the box to quote Kipling he is the "cat that walks by himself" but he's full boarded for six years and I dont worry about him boarding for another five. I don't think its boarding that has made him unhappy at school just not fitting the schools box, he is his own man with very strong opinions and unwilling to make any changes to try and fit it.
P.S. Not an insomniac just working nights.

[yotty]

Thanks for your comments. You are probably right. I should sit tight and hope he gets in. I was just trying to make sure I don't miss out on any other alternatives that also pre test or registrations close early.
Colleger, I totally agree that Kings Canterbury would be a suitable alternative. Unfortunately, can't get husband interested as it is too far east and they don't have any exeat weekends between beginning/end of term and half term without Saturday school. Therefore, DS could only come home for holidays and half term because we live too far away. Could you possibly PM me re your knowledge of Bryanston.

[happygardening]

Kings Canterbury is our prep schools local school and my DS friend is going onto Bryanston. You can register at both after you hear about Winchester. Bryanston pre test is I believe is done the academic year before entry (does that makes sense). Anyway if he's really suitable for Winchester then he should walk that infact if he's suitable for Winchester then he should be going for a scholarship to either of those two therefore you dont need to register early!
Also Winchester is not that oversubscribed 2-3 applicants for every 1 place becasue the house masters only allow a certain number to registered.

[rosar]

"The odd thing is that you can do all the due diligence you like but you can't test one of the fundamental determinants of your child's happiness - the mix of boys/girls who will enter your child's house in the same year group."

grovel's point is well made. I know 3 boys who were very happy in their prep schools, were really looking forward to boarding, at Eton and Westminster. It was precisely the mix of boys in their respective houses and year group that made all three leave, one to another house and two to different schools. It would have been impossible for their parents and the rest of us who knew them well to have foreseen this. They too chose their school/house with due diligence.

Happily they all settled into their new schools/house, but with hindsight, that year must have been very unhappy for them. Most children fit well into their school/house, and schools at that level do much to make things work, but you can't choose the other boys and they spoiled things badly for those three.

[getafreshgrip]

Have been fascinated to read the comments. I have a slightly dyslexic ds who is quirky, sporty (athletics) and witty plus reasonably bright. He chose to go to St Bedes because (a) he can be a day boy and wanted more friends nearer to home and (b) it was louder than the other school he was originally keen on. I am happy for him to go there because they are very good at dealing with those who progress at different rates in the various subjects and they produce very confident young people with a sense of proportion. In the end I think one has to go with the gut instinct - does the place feel right to you? And, just as importantly to your child?

[happygardening]

I think its hard for children to know if the place "feels right"; God knows its hard enough for adults to know and we should hopefully be less swayed by clever marketing, huge swimming pools and gyms. I'm not saying we should ignore what our children think obvioulsy they have to be fully on board when it comes to choosing a school but I just dont think 8 - 10 year olds are necessarily able to seperate the wood from the trees.
Colleger many thanks for your comment about clever children in prep chools I feel much better having read it. I agree with you his school is harsh and although my DS appears happy (he is a closed book) he finds the environment very difficult.
We've only two weeks to go before they break up and he can now clearly see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Dustylaw]

Happygardening, thanks for answering my question so usefully and loved your story about inspecting the showers at Winchester.

[nokissymum]

happygardening thanks for that tip.... and where the showers clean ?