about 4 months ago, h had an affair with a woman at work.
It lasted about 3 months, and he isnt with her anymore.
It took me a long time, and a lot of heartache to get to the point where I am now, where I can talk to him in a friendly way, where I can let him see our 19 month old dd without getting really upset and angry.
But I am now fed up of the anger and the hatred, and I am ready to be civil to him. I cant be bothered to fight anymore iyswim. I was badly hurt, but I think I decided that I was better off without him.
My life now is ok. Obviously I am a single parent, with a young dd, cant get out much and so on, but I have great friends, and feel like I am rediscovering myself.
Last night h came over to see dd, and he stayed afterwards, and we had coffee together. It was really nice to be able to talk to him again. We chatted for ages.
I do still care for him, and probably do still love him. I even think I have forgiven him, though I ertainly havent forgotten.
He wants to come back.
I dont know if I want him. I mean, I think I do, but I dont know if I can ever get over the betrayal. And he slept with her, which was really hitting me where it hurt, as I am insecure in sex anyway. I dont know if I could ever have sex with him again.
The thought of losing him forever is scary, but I also feel like I want time out, to see other men, to go on dates, to kind of see what is out there iyswim. I cant launch straight back in with h, mostly because I know the physical intimacy would be a problem.
I do think we could sort ourselves out, and quite possibly be stronger than ever. But I do feel a strong need to be 'single' for while first. Perhaps in the future, we could refind our love, but I am not ready to try yet.
Has anyone any advice?
What do I do?
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Relationships
h had an affair, and now I am really confused about whether I want him back. .
17 replies
exercisefreak · 16/07/2008 22:18
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