hi nemo, perhaps you need to overhaul your whole system?
i think both you and him need a little spending money each so you have that bit of freedom.
anyway this is what we have always done, both are incomes go into a joint account, the bills and morgage etc go out from the joint account, also 200 [100 each] goes into our own accounts each month,
so me and dh have 100 each pockets money we can spend on clothes or cds or whatever we like, we can also save it up if there is anything we really want etc.
we never have a any rows about money.
and never have times when ones saying to the other how much have you spent on this or spent on that, and it works really well
anything thats left over in the joint account is saved or spent on joint family things like holidays etc.
when there is a fair amount in the joint i take it out and out and put it in a different savings account split between two isas, which is our money.
i think this is the ideal way, as you both have the same amount of pocket money,as such, theres no him saying youve spent 300 quid on clothes or me saying youve just brought x amount of computer stuff etc
this system works when either the dw or dh earns the most money, we have had times when ive earn the most and times where hes earnt the most etc.
anyway hth