Sorry to post on this thread but people on bereavement are in a similar predicament to me and I just want someone a while down this road to give me some hope.
I lost my mum, best friend, saw her every day, me and my son lived with her for a long time, holidays, video calls advice etc a few weeks back. The dream parent, dream grandmother and perfect. She was normal until December, got told she had stage 4 cancer and died at the start of March. It’s her funeral on Monday. I’m absolutely devastated. My world has been torn apart, I feel, and somewhere I know (hope) it’s not true but I will never be happy again.
Mine and my families worlds have been blown apart, everyone is struggling significantly and everyone has undergone a personality change. My mum was everything to everyone. It was traumatic what happened, she was in early sixties, fit and healthy and did not want to die. It happened suddenly.
If I didn’t have children I’m not 100% sure I wouldn’t have joined her on the other side but I can’t put them in this position but I just want some hope.
I know and understand I’m going to be in pain for a long time, grief is love and I love her endlessly. But I want to know if I’ll ever get through this and not feel so devastated forever. I’ve seen people write things years after the fact and they’re still devastated and never got past it. I don’t want my life to be like that I just need some advice on how to get through. People tell me ‘grieve your own way, feel your feelings’ but it doesn’t help me. I need to know, if it’s possible to move on, still respecting and honouring my mum, but to be happy like she would want.. how do you deal with this level of loss?
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Has anyone lost their mum? Did it ever get better?
Justanotherusername27 · 23/03/2024 17:59
itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 23/03/2024 18:13
Sincere condolences on your loss.
My DM passed 2 yrs ago, stage 4 cancer.
I moved in with her, WFH at her house, personal care, medication etc.
I did my absolute best, she passed when I wasn't there (that's a story for another day).
Two yrs on I'm still absolutely racked with guilt, should have done more, should have been there at the end, it tortures me every day.
I've developed a habit of muttering under my breath "I hate myself"
I don't think I'll ever get over it.
This reply is not going to help you but I really hope it becomes easier for you ❤️
itsgoingtobeabumpyride · 23/03/2024 18:13
Sincere condolences on your loss.
My DM passed 2 yrs ago, stage 4 cancer.
I moved in with her, WFH at her house, personal care, medication etc.
I did my absolute best, she passed when I wasn't there (that's a story for another day).
Two yrs on I'm still absolutely racked with guilt, should have done more, should have been there at the end, it tortures me every day.
I've developed a habit of muttering under my breath "I hate myself"
I don't think I'll ever get over it.
This reply is not going to help you but I really hope it becomes easier for you ❤️
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