I can’t sleep. Tonight DS (10) was really misbehaving and being awful to his younger brother. My mum has just passed away as well so emotions are running high. I went into the kitchen and said to DH “You deal with him. I hate that child sometimes”. Except DS had followed me into the room without me knowing and heard what I said. I feel awful. Obviously I didn’t mean I hated him. I hated how he was acting in that moment. I apologised straight away. I told him it was unacceptable for me to speak that way about him. I said I didn’t mean it and that it was said in frustration. I said I was upset with his behaviour but I loved him and always would.
I know I’m the worst mother in the world and expect to be told so. How do I begin to put this right though? What do I do?
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My son heard me say I hate him
RustyBouquet · 21/12/2023 01:46
CrapBucket · 21/12/2023 01:48
Oh love, you have dealt with it completely right. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. DS will be ok. Take care of yourself.
brainworms · 21/12/2023 01:52
Perhaps now he will think twice before being horrible to his little brother.
Yazzi · 21/12/2023 03:16
"I'd tell him you love him but you hate his behaviour at times"
I get the idea, but just reading this made me remember how much I hated when my mum said this. As the person- especially child- receiving it, it feels like the person is finding a way to say "I hate you" without saying I hate you. As an adult I now get it- my kids who I love can infuriate me- but it's one of those phrases I will never use myself.
Mind you my mum wasn't great at showing love, so many I was placing it in the context of very little demonstration of love compared to explicit statements of hate.
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