I'm feeling distraught and so angry, please help me calm down and proceed rationally MNetters.
While looking for some spare paper in DD's room (genuinely) I came across a diary entry in a notebook from a few weeks ago, headed 'Depression/Feelings'. In it she wrote about how she thinks her dad (we are divorcing, so not 'D'H in my opinion) thinks badly of her, all he says is things to make her feel bad, including her weight. She feels like she wants to hide away from us .
For reference, DD is 11. While the issue for me isn't whether she's overweight or not (she's not really) it's more that 'D'H is saying things to her to make her feel like this.
The galling factor is that 'D'H is very overweight, possibly obese. In any conversations about food, diet or weight, I have been very careful not to talk about DD's weight specifically, more that people should eat a healthy balanced diet and do enough exercise. As I said, the weight isn't really the issue for me, it's how 'D'H talks to the DC and that he makes them feel bad.
We are still living in the same house due to financial reasons (we also have a slightly younger DS) but expect to sell the house and move out within the next few months. Since I told him I wanted to divorce, it's been horrendous living together. I try to keep the peace as much as possible as I cannot take the stress of daily arguments any more, but this revelation is making me just want to move out with the kids asap and protect them in a safe environment.
What should I be doing, other than talking to DD about her feelings? I do not feel that talking to 'D'H about it will do any good, other than him deflecting, accusing, or down-playing.
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Help please, 'D'H causing DD to be depressed?
4 replies
FedUpOfThisLife · 22/07/2021 13:34
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