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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is it my fault.? I am really upset

51 replies

empen · 03/11/2007 07:42

My last boyf was violent and verbally abusive - he was controlling and a bully. I spent a long time trying to get him out of my life.
Have just had a massive row with current boyf and he has punched me and pulled my hair then turned it around and said it is my fault - its me cause my ex did it to me too.

I have condensed what is a long story into a few words. He is asleep right now and I don't know what I am going to do. I live miles away from any family, have no friends in th area, have a 5yr old dd and am going into hospital on Tues to have C/Sec. He has punched a hole in my wardrobe and threw my clothes out the window (they are still there).

OP posts:

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JinglyJangly · 13/12/2007 15:24

OMG just noticed this thread - how awful. How a man can do that to a pregnant lady is beyond belief .

Please post on here just to let us know you are ok. I guess you have had the baby & are very busy atm, but just post to say you are alright.

Alambil · 12/12/2007 20:15

Hope you are ok - let us know ASAP x

ChristmasShinySnowflakes · 12/12/2007 19:56

Has anybody heard from Empen?

Am a little concerned about her

dd666 · 05/11/2007 16:55

omg i hope you are ok i really hope you reported him to the police they can help you have you got a number for a womens refuge? you need to do whats best for you your dd and the new baby! hugs

bluejelly · 05/11/2007 16:54

Just read this too, really hope you are okay. There is no need to blame yourself at all for this, there are a lot of abusive men out there and it's not you that's causing it, it's them.
Hope you are your LO are okay
Keep us posted
xx

Pennies · 05/11/2007 16:49

Just read this Empen - hope you're OK.

maisemor · 05/11/2007 16:33

Are you okay Empen?

OverMyDeadBody · 03/11/2007 20:13

I'm taking it as a good sign that we haven't heard from empen since 8:15 this morning and that she did leave and get some help!

Jackstini · 03/11/2007 19:21

Just sending good luck to you Empen - you absolutely did the right think to leave and I hope we hear from you soon that you are ok.
None of this is your fault, not now, not before, not ever.

Elizabetth · 03/11/2007 19:17

Empen, just adding my voices to the chorus that this is not your fault. Any man who attacks a woman is repsonsible for his own actions - just because you've been in three relationships like this doesn't make it your fault it just means that you have been very unlucky with the men you have got together with.

I hope you and your dd are OK and that the police will act to protect you from him.

Tortington · 03/11/2007 19:14

you need to give your tenants notice - and leave - go to police station now.

please dont let your children see that this is the way a relationship works - cos guess what they will put up with?

you wouldnt want that for your daughter - please go

OverMyDeadBody · 03/11/2007 19:10

I hope you've sorted something out empen! Let us know how you got on today.

mamazon · 03/11/2007 19:07

please leave.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/11/2007 19:04

lalaa

I see where you're coming from. I however, wrote in my first post on page 1 that this issue is for her good self to think about another time.

I hope that empen managed to sort out something concrete today in terms of outside help.

FatBellyJones · 03/11/2007 08:30

absolutely not your fault and please please please make sure you do get out now!!

lalaa · 03/11/2007 08:18

well done and good luck

OverMyDeadBody · 03/11/2007 08:17

That is excellent empen. Be strong, you'll get through this, you and your children deserve better.

lalaa · 03/11/2007 08:17

attilla, i know where you're coming from on the self-worth front, but i really think that empen needs our positive support with practical arrangements to get her out of the situation she's in right now. she can work on herself once she's safe.

pooka · 03/11/2007 08:17

Good luck. I really hope that you get the help you need.

zippitippitoes · 03/11/2007 08:16

hugs to you

xx

OverMyDeadBody · 03/11/2007 08:16

So much good advice on here. Please listen to it, we talk from experience.

Freckle · 03/11/2007 08:16

Well done. And make your first stop the police station.

pooka · 03/11/2007 08:15

Go now. PLease get this sorted.

empen · 03/11/2007 08:15

ok, I am going to get out the house now before he wakes up. thanks for your advice - I will check back later. thanks for responding to my post - it does mean a lot

OP posts:

zippitippitoes · 03/11/2007 08:15

you are getting good advice from people who know what you should do..do go to the police

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