Help me - I can’t cope

[HelpMePlease74]

My partner is emotionally abusing me every time he’s drunk.

I’ve ended up on anti depressants, my daughter is struggling and anxious and I’m just begging him to make it right and not do this and he’s just more and more nasty.

I know what I have to do but I’m just a shell of the strong independent woman that I was and I’m just not strong enough to cope

[BreaktheCycle]

It’s lovely to read your positive updates. They will give others the strength to leave their abusive situations. Your story is also a perfect example of why it is so important for women to keep their financial independence. It’s good to share. Keep up the good work helping others and continue to enjoy your happy life.

[SoSo99]

So pleased to hear your update. Wonderful that life has worked out so well for you and that you found the strength to leave.

[RantyAnty]

This is fantastic news! Great update. Glad to hear life is good for you.

[Dery]

Fabulous update, OP. Thanks for sharing!

[JamieLeeCurtains]

Thank you for returning, OP, with your very positive update.

[SpringleDingle]

Nice to see a proper happy ending, well done you!

[Eddielizzard]

So great. Amazing strength you showed, leaving him and now you can reap the rewards. It is so much better than being with a horrible abusive man

[iknowwhatimean]

I checked in on your thread as it was referenced in another one I was reading (I feel a bit like I'm snooping!) and I'm glad to hear you've moved on successfully and life is good now. You are so much better off without him, you found your strength and protected your DC - well done! An inspiring example of escaping abuse and it's great to hear you're helping others.

[HelpMePlease74]

Just checking in - life is still great. Loving being back in my house and having a great relationship with my grown up kids, beautiful cat and we have a gorgeous puppy (well, he's 17 months now). I'm also helping women in similar situations wherever I possibly can so some good is coming from my situation. It still brings tears to my eyes reading back on this though. Thanks again to this whole community xx

[Flower1976]

Lovely update. Take care x

[Jk24]

@Palavah ready today's update

[PurpleMauve]

OP - Loved reading your updates. Well done for getting out and finding peace and happiness again! Your post will inspire many x

[Palavah]

@HelpMePlease74

I can’t. We have an agreement and with covid I now have to give six months notice too

So give notice, start the clock ticking.

You need to start prioritising your child and your Mental health

[CPL593H]

I am so glad you made it work out and hope this gives encouragement to people frightened of their future

[Jk24]

Well done op!

[HelpMePlease74]

Hi everyone - just checking in. Now 1 year and 3 months since I left and life for me and my daughter is good. I’m also active in trying to help others in similar situations.

I saw a post on MN earlier about how long people have been on here and it got me thinking about how much you all helped me and gave me strength.

Love to all xx

[Onacleardayyoucansee]

You are an amazing mum and person!
Huge strength for getting and staying out

Wishing you a peaceful family Christmas full of love.
🥰

[HelpMePlease74]

Thank you x

[Ilovecharliecat]

Good to hear a positive outcome, onwards and upwards for you and your daughter. Best wishes for the future xx

[HelpMePlease74]

Hi all - I was just thinking about how far my DD and I have come since my OP two months ago and how I should thank all of you for your support when I reached out as (along with friends and family) you really did help me find the strength that day and I haven't looked back. We were able to move back into our home on 1st November, then I had a day's work to do the next day, then my daughter's bunion operation the next day and then we had lockdown with our gorgeous new kitten. We loved lockdown back in our own home, just us together and buying/eating/watching what we like whenever we like. Things are good. I can't believe where I ended up in that relationship but I sure like where me and my DD are now. Love to you all and thank you again xx

[Onthemaintrunkline]

This is retribution and blackmail OP pure and simple! Some men cannot stand being thwarted. As others have said, avoid verbal contact and if possible have company when you collect your remaining possessions. Seeing now what he’s capable of, aren’t you so glad you got out? Don’t let him darken your day, he’s simply not worth it. Let the police deal with his threatenings!

[HelpMePlease74]

My friend is married to a policeman. I have sent her all the screenshots to ask his advice. Thanks all xx

[LilyLongJohn]

I'll dial 111 and ask for their opinion on how to handle this. Tell them about the abuse and also the last communications.

[Whatifitallgoesright]

You're right, when he's threatening you with photos and videos he's acting illegally. FYI
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

[midsummabreak]

You are amazing for getting out and getting yourself and your daughter safe.
Next step, no more phone contact, only deal with emails and request police go with you to get your belongings. Report everything to police, and do not believe anything he is saying that he will be nice ‘if you are nice’. He is twisting the blame for his abuse back onto you. Your behaviour is not in question, his is. He is a liar. Do not trust him. Ever.

Ask police what to do and how you should communicate with him and safety get your belongings going forward as he is continually threatening to show demeaning videos of you. Do not go there alone to get your things. Do not believe him that he will be reasonable.