My boyfriend is cheating on me all the time

[Soapetal]

Hi me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years, he is my first relationship and I am his first too. We have a baby together, he is 10 months old.
He has cheated on me while I was pregnant and continuesly for the last few months ( I always manage to find out) he always says sorry and does not know why he does it. I honestly want to leave him but my son loves him and he is a good dad , just a bad boyfriend....I am not sure how to leave him because I want my boy to grow up with mum and dad together.
I tried to leave him once and he begged me not to and started crying, it's so hard.
I don't understand , what have I done wrong? I'm I not good enough?

[Zaphodsotherhead]

And I bet he's telling all this girlfriends that you know about the relationship (which you do, because you've seen it all over his phone) and you're cool with it (which you aren't, but he can kid them that you are).

He's a tosspot. He likes thinking he's got a girlfriend at home doing all the house stuff (because I bet you are), who won't leave him (because he's got her too scared to), who he can shag when he's on a day off from all his other fuck buddies.

Get him gone and leave him gone. You and your son will be fine without him.

[Ducksarenotmyfriends]

You are making the right choice to leave, don't listen to his nonsense that he'll inevitably come out with once you end it. You will be 100% better off. You will find strength you didn't even know you had and you will be SO much happier in the long run. Your baby will grow up being totally used to you not being together, he's too young to know what's happening right now so the timing is great. I've friends who had kids and were single parents from really young (20),it's been hard but we're all nearly 40 now and honestly their kids are just the most fantastic, wonderful, kind people that have chosen to have very little to do with their useless fathers. You can do this.

[GilbertMarkham]

that if I leave him he will make sure that I will never be with another man

I missed this before.

He's even worse than I thought (and that was bad enough).

So he's threatening as well .. how's he going to achieve that? Killing you? Disfiguring you?

I'd go to women's aid a d the police with that threat, and id be very careful when you leave him not to be alone with him or give him access to you anywhere alone.

It also shows his mentality - he thinks you're his possession. He thinks he owns you and noone else will ever be allowed to touch you or have a relationship with you even when you end your relationship with him; he's mental.

[GilbertMarkham]

Please think about your safety carefully when you get rid of him. Make sure other people are around etc.

Men like him have killed women and splashed acid in their face like Katie Piper's ex did.

[TARSCOUT]

He might be a good dad but he isn't a good role model. Do you want your son to grow up and think this is how to treat their partner, or if you ever have a daughter, that she let's her partner treat her this way?

[GilbertMarkham]

Some of the girls know he has a baby and a girlfriend but they dont care, the conversations are just about having sex and meeting up so he goes for easy girls.

He probably tells them you're not really together.

Even if they really do know he's living with, having sex with etc you .... Fact is they're not your problem. If it was t one of them, it would be another, and another ...

Maybe they're foolish, maybe they have really low standards .. but it doesn't matter, they're not your problem, he is.

[SpiderStan]

He can continue to be a good Dad, but he doesn't have to continue to be your boyfriend.

This isn't your fault. This is his fault. He is a cheating scumbag and you need to get rid of him. He WILL miss you, because currently he has his cake and is eating it, he wont have that luxury any more. But you will walk away, be strong and independent, and he will HATE it.

[GwenSaturn]

What a life OP! He's despicable!

Men like this never change. Ever. You do not want this life for yourself, it will destroy you and destroy your confidence. He has no respect for you.

He is putting you in danger of STIs every time, but in the current climate he is also putting you and your baby at risk of Covid too. Unforgivable.

You say you want your family to stay together but he clearly doesn't care about that. You aren't sabotaging the family unit, he is! He clearly doesn't care about getting caught.

You deserve so much better, you really do

[GwenSaturn]

Also what many people miss is that any man who's upsetting and stressing and destabilising a child's mother (as anyone would naturally be if they're being cheated on regularly) they're directly affecting her ability to be the best mum she can be; secure, relaxed, happy, confident, not distracted/stressed/upset ....

And that makes them a crap dad!

So true! @GilbertMarkham

[LovingLola]

You have been with him since you were 14. You were a child. What age is he?
And please see his abuse for what it is. Leave him. Sort out maintenance for your son.

[Cocobean30]

You are not letting your family down by telling them the truth, they will want to be there for you and will hate to think they have been non the wiser and unable to support. Also it is 1000% better for a child to grow up with separated parents than live with unhappy parents and a constantly cheating father, children pick up on this, they’re not stupid. Put yourself first as it’s what you deserve and the only way you will raise a happy child (if you are miserable/stressed the child will know!)

[jeaux90]

Get real life support from your family and then explain to him (safely) that you don't want to be in a relationship with him but are happy to co-parent.

I'm a single mum and my life is so much better without the cheating, abusive asshole of an ex in my life.

[ilikemethewayiam]

Good to hear you’re seeing him for what he is and getting angry about it, that shows your self worth has kicked in. Get really angry OP and get rid. You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your freedom and time with your son. You don’t need a complete waster in your life. Onwards and upwards OP, don’t look back, look forward. Don’t waste anymore of your precious time giving him space in your head. Good luck 💐

[Skyla2005]

Good fathers don’t destroys their child’s mother which is what this is going to do to you. You need to get out of this relationship and don’t feel guilty when he cries. His had his chances enoughs enough he will never change

[holrosea]

There's already plenty of good sense on this thread but I'm adding my two cents.

Snap out of wondering why he's cheating, if he wants to make you jealous & if he's game playing. Millions of women (myself included) have spent even more millions of hours wondering why a dick behaves like a dick.

When you catch yourself wondering, actively say to yourself, out loud if need be, "he is not important, I must focus on me & my child". Write a list of the things you want (stable home, promotion at work, redecorate the living room, a respectful & honest partner, a night out with your sisters/cousins, WHATEVER YOU LIKE) and get it out every time your mind wanders.

You've seen the light, you've decided not to accept his BS & you know you don't want your child to see dad repeatedly cheating on mum, telling her she'll never do any better, then repeating it as "normal". Break the cycle & focus entirely on what you want & making it happen. Good luck. Xxx

[Bunnymumy]

I'd actually be contacting the police if someone said to me they'd make sure no one else would want me if I left them. Thats a threat.

Him shagging about is just the icing on the cake.
Not even. More like the sprinkles on the icing. He is cruel, emotionally manipulative (the crocodile tears) and threatens you.

Run.

[MondayYogurt]

Just wanted to say that you're young so please read up about relationships before starting a new one after this. 6 years is a long time for a toxic relationship and your boundaries will be all over the place.
Take some time to recover and learn what a healthy relationship looks like, and importantly what red flags potential abusers can show you.
The last thing you and your child want is to get trapped again.