Would you mind if your husband did this?

[ChiChi999]

We visited a nearby city, about 2 hours away on the train. We had lunch and went round the shops, and all of a sudden he started to get bored and annoyed less than 2 hours after we had arrived. He stormed off and called me 10 minutes later to say he was at the station, and he would come back if I agreed I was only allowed to go in 3 shops. I said we could go in different shops and then meet up later, he said he didn't want to do that because he needed me to help him in his shops.

He then got on the train and went home by himself. I told a friend and she is appalled that he left me to get the train home alone. Is she right? I always get train by myself so I don't see that part as a huge issue, just wondered about people's thoughts.

[RantyAnty]

It was rude. If he was getting bored or didn't want to shop all day, he should have spoke up long before.

[CatUnderTheStairs]

TBF I've done this to my DH before now when he just wasn't listening. But it was go off and find a coffee shop and then rang him to say I was going home. I'm not sure he'd noticed I'd left the shop he was spending a stupid amount of time in looking at shoes.

But there was no allowing. It was just 'I'm knackered and want to go home now are you coming too?'

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

Sorry but trailing around the shops for hours on the end would be my idea of hell.

Yes, him rushing off abruptly is a bit rude, but could OP not continue shopping on her own?

Did you have an agreed 'one shop for him, one shop for you' or was it just an endless few hours of you dragging him around all shops for you?

Personally, I don't think it's 'appalling'. Bit rude, not not a massive deal unless there's some back story?

[Gemma1971]

Could he be cheating and he did this so he could get away to the other woman?

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

So you travlled 2 hours by train

Then you found a palce to eat and had lunch together

After lunch you started walking round, shopping

He was back at the train station, moaning, 2 hours after you arrived... so less than an hour of shopping, presumably?

Why did you go there in the first place? What arrangements had you made?

If he were my DH - well Idon't know cos mine wouldn't do this. If we agree to go shopping, we go shopping. If he doesn't want to we don't go together! Weird behaviour!

[Ispy123]

What a prat!!

[Gemma1971]

HarmlessChap, build-up or not, he could have said "Look, I am tired, let's go get a cuppa and I would really like to see X shop for my stuff, so let's meet in 2 hours at Costas" or anything. Bloody hell it's not even bad communication, he just fucked off without saying a word according to the post?

[Gemma1971]

WTF did I just read? How old is he, 5? I know better-behaved 5 year olds. Downright abusive. Is this the first time he has thrown his toys out of the pram? That's not my idea of a good marriage. Have you discussed what happened? Has he given you a decent and logical explanation?

[HarmlessChap]

Not good behaviour on his part but equally no indication of whether there was a build up to it. Whether how the day panned out was a significant deviation from the planned day out?

The way I read this though is that its a pretty major trek to the city, they'd been there nearly 2 hours and only had lunch and visited shops she wanted to.

[AgentJohnson]

He’s acting like a petulant teen but unfortunately for you, he can’t grow out of that behaviour because he’s technically an adult.

I suspect this isn’t the first instance of such tiresome behaviour.

[simplekindoflife]

@ChristmasFluff has it spot on!

There are so many manchildren out there... grumpy men who are allowed to flounce around like this without consequences. Boggles my mind!

[SpiralsoftheMind]

You need to sit him and down and explain how childish and selfish his actions were , and explain that you will not accept this treatment and he needs to change.

[doublebarrellednurse]

What @ChristmasFluff said.

It's not your job to entertain a grown man. You are not a redcoat.

Stop raising him he's not your son.

[ChristmasFluff]

this really isn't about how acceptable shopping is - it's about what sort of behaviour is acceptable. It's pretty horrifying the number of people who are justifying his actions because the poor manchild was bored, and that's only what men are like, so what did OP expect?

It's also worrying people are assuming there is some sort of backstory. This is exactly how the ex would behave - because he was an abusive twat. No back story, no warning, no 'missed signs'. Why the hell should the OP be looking for signs of boredom in another adult anyway? Do people understand how codependent it is to be monitoring another person for indications of their mood? And how passive aggressive it is to be showing signs of boredom instead of voicing it?

That phonecall shows what he was up to. He wanted to manipulate OP into only doing what he wanted, and having it seem her fault. And then probably spend the rest of the trip appeasing him in case he stropped off again.

Good on you for not playing his game, OP, but I suspect your husband is abusive and you haven't realised it.

[Interestedwoman]

Stroppy.

Nothing dangerous probably about you going home alone, but he was rude to try and insist on the number of shops/time, and to leave you there.

[Redspider1]

Depends what shops you have in your town @topcat2014

[topcat2014]

I would never leave my own town just for the purpose of shopping, and would only be in town for two hours Max, but appreciate I may well be in the minority

[Phoebesgift]

I'd be furious, hurt and pissed off if my adult partner behaved like a bored, spoilt brat.

[busybarbara]

We visited a nearby city, about 2 hours away on the train

Nearby is not a four hour round trip unless you live in Siberia

[MrsAJ27]

What an idiot, I would be very appalled at that kind of behaviour

[Honeybee85]

Manipulative and controlling behavior.
Unacceptable IMO

[Littlepeak34]

Wow. Very immature.

[georgialondon]

He sounds about 9 yrs old

[ExcitedForFuture]

He is a knob. Your friend's comment had nothing to do with you being left to get the train alone.