I would think this man has been abusive throughout and simply further ramped up the abuse after you married and particularly when you became pregnant. Abuse is about power and control, he wants absolute over you here and you covering in a heap.
Abusers can appear to be very plausible to those in the outside world but you know his true nature here. I would think your true friends have been worried about you and have also their own private suspicions re your H. Abuse like you have experienced to date thrives on secrecy; do not keep this a secret any longer. He is also projecting his own self onto you; he is really what he says you are, not you. He has a problem with anger as well, your anger when you justifiably call him out on his behaviours.
Those incidents in your post of 6.17am were not accidental either; his actions here were all deliberate and done to further undermine you as a person. He will stop at nothing to destroy you all.
He has done a right number on you Greyday and this will take you an awful long time, perhaps years even now, to recover from. Giving their chosen target spaghetti head is not uncommon either.
Your own recovery from his abuse of you and in turn your children (good dads do not abuse their children's mother) will only properly start when you are separated completely from him. Enrolling yourself on to the Freedom Programme run by Womens Aid is a must do for you going forward as well as starting divorce proceedings.
Have you as yet talked to Womens Aid, if not I would also suggest you do this asap as well as contact the Rights of Women. I realise that this is all very scary re cannot face the divorce alongside your son's assessment but staying at all within this any longer will be a lot more damaging for you and in turn your children who see their mother being abused regularly. It can and will affect them, they cannot afford to learn such damaging lessons about relationships.
What did you learn about relationships when growing up, what example did your parents show you?.