Is "gosh, she's really attractive" appropriate for a 45 yo to say about a 14 yo?

[GreyHolly]

Just that please.

[Hulababy]

Very much depends on how said and how it fit in to other things.

To me the word attractive doesn't have any sexual connotations.

And it sounds more bland than beautiful, pretty, stunning , handsome etc.

I am sure the vast majority of adult men have the ability to recognise that a young girl or young boy is attractive/pretty etc without meaning anything more than that.

I bet a woman wouldn't be given the same concerns if she commented on the young girl (or young boy) to say he was attractive/handsome.

[NotYoda]

IT DEPENDS

[crunched]

I was saying, just the other day, that I thought the girl in the AA ad (Tina Turner song? You know the one ?) was such an attractive child.
Surely that is the correct use of the word? She is full of character and attracts your attention.

[justkeepswimmin]

Me thinks someone is projecting their own experiences a bit much..?

What experiences? I'm not black

[LionsOnTour]

JustKeeps

Deary me, what a crazy response to my post. How dare you suggest that my comments about my DDs blond hair suggest that I think kids who don't have European features are ugly. WTF are you on about!!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hope you are just posting goady and unpleasant comments for fun as I would hate to think you genuinely believe what you posted.

[trulybadlydeeply]

Or have I misunderstood, was this the person you were watching with?

[trulybadlydeeply]

So this was one of the coaches in the programme, and remark was about one of the contestants? I don't personally see an issue with that, as it was presumably just a reaction to when he turned round at the end of the song. I think the word attractive can imply some sexual ferlings, but in this context I would not take it to do so.

[LittleWitch]

For me "attractive" is about more than just looks. People can be attractive without being especially good looking iyswim. If I was commenting specifically on someone's looks alone, I would say "beautiful " or "pretty", "gorgeous " or just "good looking ". In my mind "attractive " is a well preserved, well dressed, older woman.

I do think it's slightly cringey for a bloke to make that remark about a young teen.

[AtSea1979]

Unless he followed it up with something more inappropriate I wouldn't worry about it. Did you not ask "what do you mean"? Since you seem alarmed by it?

[Nubia66]

•Justkeep

[Nubia66]

Wow Jeustkeep, that's a bit harsh! And this is coming from a black woman with 'nappy' hair.
OP, I think you're reading far too much into his comment, unless there is a back story. I've certainly described one of my son's friends as attractive at around that age and I'm certainly not pervy. I'm left wondering whether you don't like him making complimentary comments about other females as a whole but that at least you can legitimise your objection on this occasion.

[NicolasFlamel]

justkeepswimming calm down..
My (mixed race) kid regularly gets compliments about his wild head of curls. He's bored of it being mentioned now. Me thinks someone is projecting their own experiences a bit much..?

[Lovingitlovingit]

Some posters are saying 'attractive' is different from pretty or handsome.

[Crumbs1]

its probably just a comment on someone on television as opposed to a perky view of a child. I am older and have certainly said similar, " Gosh, they're very beautiful" or " His a nice looking lad". I've never felt anything remotely sexual for anyone much younger than me......but then I'm a woman and on this site all men are considered dodgy, abusive or deviant.

[LionsOnTour]

It's a bit depressing that some posters think that all the compliments I've had from time to time over the years about DDs or DS's being good looking were all made by 'creeps' .

One of my DDs has particularly gorgeous long blond sleek hair which regularly attracts comments from strangers - am I failing as my role as her parent If I don't deck the people that comment? 🤔 Fortuanately she also attracts comments about being a lovely hardworking and funny person too....

Is there a minimum age where it's not 'creepy' to comment that a child is pretty or handsome or is it literally never an acceptable thing to say.

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

I don't think it's inappropriate!

My 3 sons have a set of friends who are brothers of the same ages. I can openly say one of the brothers (who is a young teen) is very attractive, it doesn't mean I fancy him! People say both my middle and youngest son are attractive/beautiful/handsome/stunning. It doesn't mean anything other than that.

[petitesassygirl]

OMG ! There HAS to be a backstory or the fact this needs questioning wouldn't have entered the OP's head, totally inane observation in normal circumstances surely!

[Lovingitlovingit]

I would never say it about a 14 year old boy or girl for that matter. I am a secondary school teacher who works with teenagers so obviously not but I wouldn't anyway.

[supermumofmany]

I've said a few times that a boy in my 12yo sons sporting team is a very goodlooking boy, I have no sexual feelings towards him
Think your over dramatising

[PutThatPomBearBack]

Who said it?

[justkeepswimmin]

So he couldn't keep the comment to himself?

The creep. I bet he leers at school girls

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

I think it's fine. I could possibly be guilty of saying this.

[LionsOnTour]

I think it's perfectly ok. I'd say the same about an unusually attractive boy or girl.

[newdaylight]

I guess I can see why people think attractive means bring attracted to them but the fact is the word is now used to simply describe pretty.

I don't think it's creepy...unless it's part of a wider context.