I have been with my DP for 3 years now And we have a 1 year old DS together and another on the way and I feel very much like a single mother. I feel like He doesn't consider us everyday he just says "right I'm going out" he will leave at 10am ISH and come back later on at night, usually once DD is sleeping. I call him and he just always tells me "I'm too busy to speak to you" he thinks it isn't his job to help look after DS and always tells me to ask for help from other people if I am 'struggling' he always says "ask my mum she is there to be used" when I say no you're the dad not your mum he just says I'm too busy.
He is a self employed worker, he owns a few flats which occasionally need work done to them when a tenant moves out etc.
Normally he will give me an ETA for coming home say half5 but will return home at 9pm.
AIBU to ask him what time he will be home? AIBU to get annoyed when he comes he late every night and I feel like my DS is missing out on a relationship with DF and me missing out on a relationship?
In the past when he'd come home late I'd tell him I was annoyed and he would say I know I need to help you more and ask for a cuddle, then I'd cuddle him and he'd do the same the next day. Now he gets annoyed that I don't want to cuddle him. Lastnight he told me he'd be home at half5/6 after leaving at 10am and he called me at 8 where he was at his mums to tell me he was having something to eat and would be home soon. He came home just after 9.
It's tough looking after a little person with bad morning sickness etc.. I'm so worried about being on my own with 2 babies when I eventually give birth to this one. He hasn't helped much at all with DS1. I have never been to a hair appointment/doctors app etc on my own, I always take my baby because he just is never ever here.
He tells me that I need to respect he is working hard but then tells me he feels sorry for me because I'm always on my own with little one! I feel so neglected and feel like my baby isn't getting the time with his dad that he deserves.
DP despite sometimes telling me "I know you need more from me" doesnt normally see what's wrong with his behaviour
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Relationships
He is driving me insane AIBU
Lennielala · 24/04/2017 14:03
I'm sorry you're in this shitty position.
He's obviously not interested in helping AT ALL, and he's taking the option of being all 'nice' (I'm sorry, I know you need more help, give me a cuddle baby) because that suits him more than the more outwardly abusive option of telling you to fucking shut up whining.
Sounds like you weren't together long, and the pregnancy was an accident.
I think you have to seriously consume the possibility that he is not committed to you, or your family. And - live your life and plan accordingly. You are in a very vulnerable position family. You're not married and he has the kind of income stream that is VERY easy to hide from the CMS. So... make sure you are independent. If you're planning to wait out him changing (and good luck with that 
) then at least get yourself back to work after Mat leave and him paying childcare cost.
Good luck 
FFS. He is using you - it is as plain as day to us. He wants an easy life - to swan in and out as he likes, have the fun bits of parenting, sex with you and some girlfriend time then to fuck off again when he can't be arsed.
He is tied to his mothers apron strings - why is he going there for food instead of coming home?
He has fed you promise after promise but his actions (or lack of them) prove he is always going to put his needs and wants first.
Be warned you are sleepwalking into being a single mother of 2 with a man child flitting in and out of your life and a MIL who is going to always interfere and tell him that he has every right to do what he wants 
LTB
what a disappointment he is. I would think it'll be easier without him there full stop, especially emotionally. Disappointment after dusapoointmentvmust be so hard. Get rid, as soon as your ready.
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