my mum screamed at my son

[tma1968]

my son is 10 and i thought he was at his friends house when he was actually in the park. i rang my mum just to see if he was there as id nipped out and told him to go nans if he needed anything. (we live close to the park, friends and each other so he has a fair amount of freedom). i didnt specify a time for him to come home and when i rang him he didnt answer so i called to his friends house to be told he was at the park. i was on my way to the park when mum rang and informed me that he was there (as id instructed) and that she has "bollocked" him (her words not mine). i was a bit taken aback as id not said he was in trouble or that i was worried , she assumed that i was. i said send him home and when i opened the door he looked terrified so i said "its ok son ur not in trouble" to which he burst into tears and sobbed saying "nan screamed at me tellin me i should answer my fone" i didnt get much more of the story as he was too upset. im absolutely furious. why did she want to shout at my little boy like that?? why didnt she say "oh love you might b in trouble, hurry home" or whatever....who the f**k does she think she is?? should i say something?

[WeAllHaveWings]

Op you know your mum and your ds, we don't.

You must know if your ds is special snowflake who has never had a bollocking so might get upset after one off your mum/or might be scared he's about to get one off of you, or if you mum is capable of excessive aggression when telling off a child that he comes home terrified.

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

Wow. Exciting answers!

I sometimes don't hear my phone. If I was ten and was playing in a park that would be much more likely. Op didn't tell her dp that ds was in trouble. So why the 'bollocking'?

Not sure why people are extrapolating that the op has no control over her ds. Or that she is responsible for society's ills. Maybe it's because she hasn't put in paragraphs. I find you get flamed a lot less if you use paragraphs.

Repost op but say you were in waitrose while all this was taking place.

[Joysmum]

Repost op but say you were in waitrose while all this was taking place

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I just don't like some parent's attitude to discipline which is that no one apart from them has the right to reprimand their child.
I think the 10 year old boy here was perhaps more embarrassed than anything that he got told off in front of his pals by his gran!

[AnyFucker]

If you want your mum to be involved in the raising of your child ( and it sounds like you, and she is) then she should be able to discipline him in the way she sees fit

Have you actually asked her side of the story or are you taking the word of a child who is possibly trying to deflect attention away from the fact he was MIA ?

[VelvetSpoon]

Being shouted at occasionally really doesn't hurt a child, especially not one aged 10 who is responsible enough (apparently) to wander off to the park/friends unsupervised.

Is it half term where you are OP? Just wondering why he wasn't at school.

[Hissy]

Im protective of my child because my mother has hurt my son. Her husband has tried to intimidate us too, so forgive me if I'm projecting.

My son gets plenty discipline, a look of mine will stop him in his tracks, but no, aside from school professionals etc, nobody except me gets to discipline him.

He has plenty respect for authority. He also knows that my trust in him depends on him being where he's supposed to be, and back when he's supposed to be.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Hissy Sorry that your mum has been violent towards your son. Your opinion is understandable.

[ClarenceTheLion]

It was a miscommunication. Maybe she picked up on anxiety in your voice and thought you were worried. But it's not the end of the world for him to know his Nan has a fiery side...

[tma1968]

Thanx for all ur replies.
He wasn't missing, the area is small and it isn't unusal for him to be at the park with friends or at one of their houses. I wasn't concerned I just asked was he there and she said no. She obviously assumed I was worried when i wasn't at all. I just don't understand why she thought it was her place to tell him off. He's not molly coddled or spoiled. He's actually a very nice boy who generally does as he's told. He'd gone to nans on my instruction not realising that I, by that time was in. He'd only been out an hour and returned when everyone else went in as usual. It's a case of crossed wires and I won't b saying anything I just wish she hadn't roared at him. She worked in a school for years and always says shouting and aggression is wrong and doesn't solve anything and then doesn't practice what she preaches with her own grandson. He just didn't deserve It.

[IrianofWay]

I don't blame your mum at all. He was not following the very sensible rules applied for his safety and in order that he can have some freedom. I expect she panicked and was concerned that you were worried too.

I also suspect that his definition of 'screaming at him' may not coincide with other people's.

[MrsJayy]

Nobody said he was missing he hadnt checked in and your mum probably overreacted but she didnt know where he was the arrangement is so vague roaring can be translated to a telling off and your son may have taken offence

[titchy]

Maybe you should keep a closer eye on him...

[BarricadesBabe]

Your mum has no right to bollock him. None.

Massive eye-rolls to this. She's his grandmother, ffs, not some random passer-by, and if the OP asks her to look out for him and generally assume the responsibility of a parent she needs to be able to bollock him as a parent would.