There are not enough nice blokes to go round.

[dontcallmethatyoucunt]

That is my conclusion from reading threads on here.

Personally I'd rather be only own than carry some dead weight, mean spirited lazy shit, but that's me.

I sometimes wonder if some of the utter scum bags that are regularly featured on here, would up their game if their bad behaviour wasn't tolerated? Who knows, but bloody hell, I wish we tested the shit out of that.

I'm not sure why I'm posting, I'll no doubt be flamed for seeing things as too black and white, but I suppose I wish that more women would just treat themselves better and kick these idiots to the kerb. Single ain't so bad.

Oh and no I'm not single at the moment (so easy for me to say), but I have spent long periods of my life single (and happy).

[ProfessorPickles]

I hate to be negative also, but all the men I know that are in relationships tend to be unfaithful. I can name into the 20s of unfaithful men, and 2-3 seemingly faithful.
I split up with my partner and within 3 months 4 men in relationships had tried it on with me or sent suggestive messages, I am the least sexually enticing person around! Just adds fuel to my "don't want a relationship again" fire

[donajimena]

I also roll my eyes at a lot of the shit that women put up with on here (and men)
Sadly up until just over a year ago I was one of those women.
I'm with a thoroughly decent man now (or so I think as you can never be too careful)
But I am not who I was. By the time my last relationship ended I had seen the light and realised I had zero boundaries and poor standards.
Is it a coincidence that I met someone decent or is it because I am not prepared to take any shit any more?

[Lau1984]

ProfessorPickles - that's good to read, it's my gut feeling and the general opinion of those who know why I've done what I have.... It's amazing how many people pull you to one side and say they wish they had done the same!
....and ohhhhhh yes! You're bang on the money about the unfaithful point, totally agree! Sad but true, even politeness or a smile in their direction can be misconstrued as a 'come on'... I'd happily never play hide the sausage again, but I guess it's the last thing on my mind at the min!

Positive thoughts for 2016 to you!

X

[Lau1984]

Donajimena - the laws
Of attraction, you're attracting the right types now you have self value! Thumbs up to you!

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

pickles yes, I had the same. I was almost irresistible to married men who decided I must be desperate or something. Which is partly how I know that some seemingly perfect couples in my life aren't all that perfect.

[lorelei9]

I love being single and often find some posters who feel stuck in relationships, even without kids, won't even try being single! I don't get it.

[Sum314]

.

[fucketbanny]

Mud and mayhem... Single nice friend you say...?!

[NameChanger22]

There are hardly any nice blokes out there. I don't know of any; someone must be hiding them. All my friends are going out with completely selfish, lazy, cheating liars. I'm the only sensible single person. I've been single for a long time and I intend to stay this way.

[Destinysdaughter]

I agree. It's definitely preferable being single tuns being with a bad man. I've had enough of those and have much less tolerance for them these days. I'd love to meet a good man but I honestly don't know where they are!

[Destinysdaughter]

• then not tuns!!

[LondonStill83]

I totally agree.

I am pretty lucky and DH is mostly awesome (still makes me tear my hair out sometimes but nothing major and we still have a good laugh together), but some of the blokes my friends put up with- it's just BONKERS.

I work with many gay men and they tend to be outta there when a bad bloke reveals his colours. Why aren't women the same?

[Sum314]

I agree. My self-esteem has really recovered now (after an abusive relationship) and I've been doing great at spotting misogyny, disrespect, disinterest, meanness... I haven't been anybody's down time, part-time, some time but I haven't met anybody who is decent, good humoured, kind either.

I think men aren't as motivated (by necessity) to treat the opposite sex well because if a woman does dump them for being sexist, entitled, lazy etc.. then there're plenty more women out there.

[lorelei9]

To be fair, I'm not someone who thinks most men are horrible, when I was dating I only met decent men. But my friends have been with some absolute horrors and I think the worst kind of person is attracted to someone who sends a clear message that they can't bear to be single.

What comes through strongly with many posters is a sense of just having to put up with it in order to have a partner. I have come across men doing this too. I think if you have an idea that you can't cope alone, you won't end a shitty relationship. I still have acquaintances who don't believe that I'm happy being single.

[LovelyFriend]

I don't think it's just on here. My RL experience shows me this time and time again.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

I think men aren't as motivated (by necessity) to treat the opposite sex well because if a woman does dump them for being sexist, entitled, lazy etc.. then there're plenty more women out there.

I agree. I was brought up to believe three things: that a woman's worth lies solely in her ability to attract/keep a man; I didn't possess any of those qualities; being single is the worst failing a woman can have because it's such a public demonstration of your worthlessness.

I think my upbringing was somewhat distorted, but I don't think I was the only woman who received those/similar messages.

Hence, I have put up with some shit over the years, but since I've decided I'm taking no more, it's amazing how few men I meet who would make the grade.

[DoinMiFuckinHeadIn]

I dunno. I've been single for 5 years. Got my own house , car etc. Not tried old and tbh got to the stage where I can't be arsed.

I've got sex on tap if I want but I've not met anyone who tempts me into anything relevant

[DoinMiFuckinHeadIn]

Btw mud and Peggy. .. either of your chaps in the London area 😉

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Increasingly on here, I read threads and just don't have anything to contribute because, well, what can you say? There isn't really much advice to give, other than 'you deserve better than this', but that doesn't really add much to a thread.

I do disagree that there aren't lots of nice men out there. They are out there, but they just don't get much publicity on here.

[IrishDad79]

Come on folks, you're naive if you think married women/women in ltrs aren't sleeping around in similar numbers to their male counterparts.

[lorelei9]

IrishDad, I didn't think that's what the thread was about? But for the record, yes I do think women are doing that.

Dowager, I do feel it's worth saying something because of what I notice in real life. Which is, people in real life, once they get to know me, you can start to see the realisation that a single woman can be happy. As someone mentioned above, some are conditioned to seeing themselves as a total failure of not coupled up.

[lorelei9]

If not of! Tiny keyboard!

[Sum314]

Yes, Lorelei, I worry I'm letting the single side down in recent months admitting to married friends that I'd like to meet somebody. I am still happy though. I'm not saying ''i'm unhappy so I want to meet somebody else to fix that'. But I think it was like maslou's triangle for me, the whole time I was getting back on my feet financially I couldn't even think about men or love or anything like that. I just needed security, and a future. Now I have sorted those basic things out I wonder about a relationship.

[Elendon]

I'd like to be partnered with someone who has their own means of support in place. We both have our independence but meet up occasionally and go on holiday together. However, so far no takers. I would have thought that people of a certain age would enjoy their independence. But they just want to do the drudgery of domestic 'bliss'. I'm never getting into that ever again.

One day my handsome partner, who is feisty, intelligent, loving and independent, will come into my life.

[Sum314]

I hope so! Waiting for that guy's friend

I know, i've had the feeling that being financially independent / not at all needy does intimidate some men. I'm hardly madonna. But you know what I mean. My last bf was a penniless artist and I was determined not to end up subsidising him. I did a bit. It ended a while later, for different reasons mind you.