When I thought he couldn't get any lower!

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

So...

My partner of 7 years left me again 2 weeks ago. Claimed he didn't love me anymore it was like he was living with his best friend all the usual rubbish that after reading on here is classic.
I cried and cried and tried go just take one day at a time.
I was getting good at faking been ok each morning and thought one day I will be fine and I won't be faking it .
The children were ok as used to him working away, they were seeing him often. I even went to stay at his mums house so he could have them at our house.

Then yesterday I received a message to say a mutual friend had been asked if we were still together by someone else and she said yes. I had not spoken to her about it so she didn't know any different.
I then found out that just after he left me he must have been straight into a dating website of some sort and then the day after what would have been our 7 yr anaversary he went to meet her.
So she apparently wasn't happy when finding out he still was according to this lady in a relationship with me . He wanted me to get in touch with the friend to let her cousin know we were not together so he could carry on seeing her.

I know he is in all accounts single but not even 2 weeks??? I really must have ment nothing to him.

I had put up with so much over the years to try and keep the family together. I know I'm well rid of him but how do I stop the hurt?
Head knows but heart is not on the same page.

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

I have tonight been to get a bar job for the nights when he has the kids. it means when i dont have them ill be working so wont get a weekend off as such but its extra money coming in.
i need to start changing and working stuff out for the kids and i.
they will realise what hes like when they get older.

[DollyTwat]

Juice trust me, in a few months you'll start to enjoy your free time. Try to start seeing friends, have them over, go to a class, whatever you feel like doing

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

And now I find out that he's on a sleezy dating website and his pic is a pic of my daughter and him one that I took!!! Told him to take it down that turned into a massive argument.
It's not really the fact that he's in it just that he's put a pic I her on it too!
He's taken it down now.
Then turned into an argument because all his family are going on Sunday to his grandmas and I said I didn't want him there to him after I he asked me to conferm we had split up. He's reminded me now that it is is family not mine. That after 7 yrs I should just walk away from them basically

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

I'm back in work today and I'm going to go for a run when I finish work. Then I'll have some other stuff to sort out at home finish painting.
It's just the been alone part that it's abit rubbish. I know I should use this time to please myself and I know that next week I will be saying stop arguing/ shouting at each other just strange been in an empty house

[ChipDip]

Sorry you're feeling so low Juice. Have read your thread and think you have been amazingly strong. You will have these ups and downs but one day it will all be ok. In the low times I think keeping yourself occupied helps a lot. Can you visit a friend? Just continue being strong

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Feeling low this morning. I have seen the kids this weekend as it was their dancing shows but it's been his weekend and then he has them this week of the school holidays .
Coming home to an empty house is horrible.
It's not that I think I want him back just the kids!

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

His mum said it happened at her house but that the kids would be fine.
At first I did think it's just him trying to controll me again.
Feel down today. Just can't seam to sleep.
It's the children's dancing shows this weekend and it should be me taking them and getting their hair done and stuff but it's his weekend. I know I have to now share these moments but it's still rubbish.

[Woodenheart]

The phone call threatening him sounds like BS,

He's used it as an excuse to text you, plus whilst you should be having a rest, he's going to have you worrying all weekend. Win-Win for him.

Just say to him - godknows who rang you, ask one of your harem of new woman

Keep strong

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Just unblocked him on Facebook and he's now single.
I didn't ( fake) want him back I can't want him back but it still hurts to see. I can't see his full profile so I bet he had lots of comments on it from all his girls... He's a shit and didn't diserve me I just need to keep on!

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

I've started to paint and ch age the pictures in the living room and that made me feel good. Next is my bedroom!
Today I received a lovely txt from him to say that he had received a phone cAll threatening him... Did I know anything about it. Turns out that this call said if you carry on texting my gf I'll rip your throat out..... Great he is having the kids this weekend and the first week of the holidays. I start thinking my god the kids are going to see him et beaten up or worse.
He then txts straight away after to say he's not texting anybody by the way.
Like I give a shit!!!! All I care about is that my children are safe.

[FryOneFatManic]

If the house is yours and he hasn't given you the keys, then I agree on changing the locks.

If his name is on the deeds, then officially you can't change the locks, but there's nothing to stop you adding internal bolts to the doors.

[Vacill]

Mine was on dating website and connected to "the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with" within 24hrs of leaving a 30 year relationship / 20 married / 4 kids. My F&F said it was a big - "Fuck You" gesture to me.

[Ouchbloodyouch]

Yes good advance from ledkr. I think I mentioned about the new bed linen too. If funds allow go at once and buy a new duvet cover

[IthoughtATMwasacashpoint]

Perhaps you could change the locks so that he can't just walk in and out as he pleases.

[Ledkr]

I agree about feeling like that earky on.
HOWEVER you will quickly learn to sleep like a star fish and love having your own room.
I bought new white bed linen and painted the walls hot pink, put fairy lights up and treated myself to a new telly.
My room became my domain and an escape from reality.

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Thank you.
That's what I'm trying to do with the best form of revenge been not to crumble. To be fake happy and be fake strong keep thinking one day it won't be fake.
I just feel that he's come out of it easier. He dosnt have to do any house work, look after the kids. Can go out when he likes. Then the other side if me says I have it better for all of those reasons. I have the children and the house.
It's just so up and down isn't it.

[paxtecum]

Stay strong. Buy a teddy to cuddle. The teddy will make you smile, he will look funny sitting up in your bed in the day.

[Ouchbloodyouch]

Gosh I remember those early days so well. The bed was far too big. Now I have all my books, chocolate and trashy mags by the side of me. Its great!
At Christmas I posted here something quite self pitying about who would want to date me as he had really done a number on my self esteem. My cons were : lone parent. Skint. I have a crap car (yes because I should really value someone who judges me by my car )
Today I am still skint, still a lone parent and my car is running on a wing and a prayer but I feel fucking great.
I work hard (for myself) I don't always get it right but I am becoming a little more successful. I am driven. I am in the very early stages of a relationship. I turned up as myself. I'm good enough as I am.
It took a while to feel that.
Find your drive and ambition. I don't mean work necessarily. Be the best you can be! a new interest/ hobby works wonders.
You will get there. Baby steps.
Its often quoted on here the best revenge is to live well
You are entitled to mourn and rage (not to him) but plan the better you and put steps in place to start living as it.

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Plus my little boy just said that he has changed the password on his iPad..... Why did he need to do that he's living somewhere else not like I will be going on his bloody iPad !!!! Posting here so I don't message him and say how stupid he is

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Feeling sad and loanly this morning . I miss sleeping in a bed with him and him cuddling me.
Keep strong!!!!

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Ha yes great!! I was sad in the shop but just couldn't wear it as a normal ring so it had to go

[Ledkr]

juice I remember sobbing to a friend and wailing "what shall I do with my wedding ring?"

"Take it to cash generator and buy the kids a play station" was her reply

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

Today I feel hopefull. I took my ring back to the shop for them to sell for me. I felt very sad as I lives the ring it was very different and very me but I would never be able to look at it as just a ring to wear on another finger.

I am been told by many people how I will go onto meet someone who truly knows how to treat me. I now feel that this could happen one day. I am not ugly/fat/boring like he had made me feel. I'm no longer great full that he was my partner.

Thank you for all your kind words. I know there are hard times to come but today at least I feel hopefull that my life other than been for the children is not over.

[Ledkr]

When my h left me for ow I had 4 dc one only a baby.
I felt just like you do now and thought I'd never be happy again.

I had a few months feeling bad, then two years of fun and adventures, then I met my now dh who is wonderful.
I was 40 by the time we met and I finally have the relationship I've always wanted.

My x is stil with the ow but hasn't changed at all. Still selfish and emotionally unavailable, he's cheated many times and pretty much does his own thing.

They have the boring unabitious existence that I had and I now have a really fulfilling life.
The children are fine and all doing well.

My friend says it's karma. I'm not sure.

Either way I wanted you to know that there is hope and that the likelihood is that this other women will not change him and have to put up with his lies and nonsense.

[JuiceInAWineGlass14]

I'm trying to work on just blocking him out of my head Compleatly. It's funny how when you split from someone then so many people tell you want they really think of that person. My family have been very honest about what they saw him doing to me grinding me down yet I always stood up for him and put him first.