hypothetically, if a new PD did this...?

[rosdearg]

ok maybe not DP as you don't live together. But spend every weekend together.

He goes on your PC at home a lot, you ask him not to illegally download. He understands and agrees.

then you realise your PC is running an illegal filesharing programme and downloading something he needs (for work).

You ask him about it. He says "I couldn't ask you becuase I needed it and I knew you would say no, so I had to do it."

What do you think?

[BoomBoomsCousin]

You teach your daughters boundaries by enforcing boundaries yourself, but also by respecting theirs from a young age. 5 and 3 is not too young to start this. When your DDs don't want to be touched or to share etc. you don't ride roughshod over that. Of course there will be times when you may have to force something because competing demands or the urgency of a situation make it the only way to deal with it. But basically you don't make their wishes come last all the time (or your own), you bring them up so that they expect respect and don't think their job is always to please or peacekeep.

it starts off with little things, like not keeping tickling if they have asked you to stop, or not insisting they feel cold when they say they don't or not dismissing what they say because they are only small. Later you will need to talk about more complex things and point out when someone is treating them unfairly and point out that they have options, but let them make decisions even if it's not the one you would make. And you need to keep your own boundaries with them strong so that they see how to fairly negotiate with people they live with. So share chores from an early age, teach them to be polite and to voice disagreements nicely, be kind and appreciate their kindness.

Then when they are treated badly they will notice it because it will be so strange to them, they will be outraged because they will know it is unfair and they will be less likely to put up with it.