'You're a boring old woman who only wants to watch shit tv'

[ChillySpooker]

'if I want to go to the pub
and have a few drinks then I will '



Sorry.

Having a vent.

[BearFeet]

Keep typing. These wonderful women can help you.

[Simile]

I wouldn't mention the tossers. But otherwise sounds absolutely fine.

I let out a loud snigger at this. Yeah, best not mention those at interview. It's not too late to get your career back on track. I recently went back to University to retrain (age 40). My DSs are young, there's a lot of juggling to do being a lone parent too, but it's infinitely better than being with a tosser.

Chin up, you do have a good cv and plenty of experience. Start making small changes and you'll find they'll snowball into big life-changing ones.

[Drumdrum60]

Thinking of you chilly. Small steps. Why not you go out on your own with friends? Make small changes and your confidence will soar. I'm much older than you and I absolutely love working. I have met loads of new people and some are now firm friends.

Work gives me positive energy and makes sure I'm up and dressed with eyeliner on instead of moping about eating cereal ! Find out what energises you and do it!!

[ThreeQuartersEmpty]

I've been thinking of you today chilly
Have you resolved to get a pt job, or volunteer?
Get your self esteem up a bit?

Bet you didn't think a complete stranger was thinking of you and your situation while stood on a muddy sideline. It's what MN is good at. Keep posting.

[Nanadookdookdook]

I would say you need to volunteer - there will probably be a central website or office where you live, just sign up for stuff. Befriending, food train, maybe offer services at local day centre?

It can lead to a paid job and at least looks good on cv.

Also go to IT classes and get your computing up to speed.
Wish I was 48.

[AcrossthePond55]

If you have 23 years with civil service do you have any type of rehire or reinstatement rights? I had 33 years US cs and I would have preferential rehire status if I applied for a job. You may want to check on it. Not that they have to give you a job if there are none, just that if there is a job you qualify for you get preference.

[catkind]

So, your CV reads:
Good grades from school.
Good grades from college.
Successful Civil Service Career. (Expand on work done/skills.)
Career break with children.

I wouldn't mention the tossers. But otherwise sounds absolutely fine. Are you in touch with any colleagues from your previous job who you could sound out about what the current opportunities are? Try LinkedIn if used in your area of work. Try something like Coursera for some free online learning to boost your confidence and your CV.

You're 48. These days that means you have another 20 years of potential career ahead of you. Plenty of time to get back in, or find something completely new if that's what you want.

[babyboomersrock]

Met and married complete tosser number 2 who knocked me around. (Two children)

Still with 2nd tosser

He was (is?) violent towards you?

[Valsoldknickers]

Tell him that when he is pushing up daisies at least you will still be here watching your shit telly (cackling and rocking in your chair happy as)

Don't ever let anyone put you down girl

[Zazzles007]

I agree with 26Point2Miles. The best thing about the interwebz is that you can research any topic your heart desires. Look up the current thoughts in CV writing and go from there. I am a big believer that many, many small actions lead to much bigger things. Keep talking Chilly .

And Chilly's partner -

[ChillySpooker]

My CV would read

Left school with good grades
Attended college and attained more good grades
Fell into civil service - remained for 23 years
In mean time - met and married a complete tosser who fucked around on me(no children)
Divorced the tosser. Met and married complete tosser number 2 who knocked me around. (Two children)

Still with 2nd tosser - now feeling like a failure (but need to feel better for sake of daughters who are not stupid)

[26Point2Miles]

Do your cv..... Take it from there.... Small steps...

[ChillySpooker]

Thank you Scarletohello I should have got out when my girls were young. I still had a job then. Stupid stupid me. I never ever had the balls - even back then when I had the power. I had the career, he was a puppy. I got the mortgage. He tagged along. Stupid , stupid , stupid, pathetic me. ////fast forward I gave up my career - he is S/E I feel trapped. Forty Eight year old ex-civil servant. Only job I did since leaving FTE - would flounder at even doing a CV never mind an interview

[Scarletohello]

I don't think you are doing your kids any favours staying in an unhappy marriage ( believe me, I know, my parents were very unhappy but stayed together, I wish they had got divorced). It's affected me my while life..,,get out. You only live once.

[ChillySpooker]

Thank you all for your lovely posts. He is home now.

[lookingforhope]

Chilly, you vent if you want to. Tonight my other half called me and ds 'morons' for watching 8 out of 10 cats, then slagged me off for parking my car a tad left of centre in the garage

I have been married for 19 years and really only think my husband is with me because I earn all the money and pay for everything.

We don't like each other much and I don't know if it is better to stay together for the kids so they don't have the upheaval of a broken home, or to split up so they don't have an appalling template for marriage as an example to them. I know if either of my kids were in a marriage like mine, I would want them to leave.

Spaniel - are you happier now??? I hope things worked out for you

Chilly - I hope things work out for you too xxx

[CurlyWurlyCake]

You obviously should be dancing around the living room in full make up and heels every Saturday night on the per chance of him wanting to spend any time with you.

Next Saturday, around 7.30 ask him what time he is going out because you plan to have a night in and was hoping he was going out because tbh he brings your mood down.

Although I do enjoy my own company a bit too much

[AcrossthePond55]

There's nowt wrong with being a boring old woman who loves the telly.

Obviously HE doesn't do much to liven up the place, does he? There is obviously more to your situation than that. If you feel you'll be better of without him, then try and find your way out. If you feel that you can stay and 'live separate lives' that's OK too.

[ImperialBlether]

Think of it as a positive thing that your children are now at college. Maybe you can see a sliver of light that'll lead you to freedom and happiness.

[Humansatnav]

Were here to listen to you love. I'm also on the

[ThreeQuartersEmpty]

Keep talking if it helps.
Tbh it sounds like he's pretty abusive before hes had a drink too, if he won't wait for you.

[ChillySpooker]

He said he would be home by 10 (isn't) when he's in drink he has a history of being an abusive arsehole.

[DollyDreamboat]

Just talk away Chilly. That's what we're here for.

[ThreeQuartersEmpty]

Well, why don't you vent on here about your twat?
You've as much right as anyone else.
On MN as well as anywhere.