Jones, I have been through such a similar experience. My DH had a short six week affair with a work colleague, I posted about it last week. I lurked for ages on your thread actually as we found out at roughly the same time. Also your DH seems to have reacted in a very similar way... absolutely horrified at what he had done, post discovery, and very aware of what he very nearly lost. I have seen your checklist a few times of how your DH has tried to demonstrate his commitment and make it up to you and I can check all the same boxes, which is heartening.
Equally though I am torn when it comes to Mumsnet. On the one hand there is no doubt in my mind that this board enabled me to spot the goings on, react quickly and decisively, and possibly even save my marriage... I did all the right things in terms of avoiding the pick me dance, gathering all the paperwork, throwing him out for a couple of weeks etc, and I wouldn't have known all that stuff had it not been for reading this board previously. So I couldn't be more grateful to everyone who has posted.
On the other hand, Mumsnet absolutely fuels my intermittent feelings of rage and / or hopelessness sometimes. I read all the ways that seemingly loving husbands betray their wives and cause the breakdown of their own marriages (and seemingly happy lives) and it all feels like I might be wasting my time in hoping for a recovery. The thing is... I do believe, rightly or wrongly, that my husband is a bit different to the majority of cheating spouses. Yes, he has behaved appallingly towards me and our children, and yes, he has broken my heart, but he does seem genuinely 100% remorseful, and I do believe he is a good man who made a terrible mistake. Plus on a practical level I have two very small children to think about who adore their dad. For that reason I want to be able to forgive, if not forget. But it's very difficult when I read up on other women who presumably felt the same way and were proved to be wrong. I can only tell myself to hang in there and give it more time. And maybe cut back on reading all the sad stories here.
Having said all that, please do PM me if you want someone to chat to who has been through it too!