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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DP bags are packed in car, he is asleep on sofa and going first thing in morning!!!

73 replies

Mumof3girlys · 01/12/2013 23:08

So been with my DP for 2 years, I have 3dc from previous relationship! Had few issus over our time namely being his drinking and his so called facebook banter with the 19 year old he left his wife and son for 10 years ago!!

Well after the facebook stuff in summer I just could get over it, and his drinking is becoming worst! We don't live together he is here usually 4 nights a week! Today he went out at 12 to watch footy and had 4 pints, came home and tucked stright into the best part of 3 bottles of wine! I on the other hand have cleaned house from top to bottom, cleared garden for winter and done a tip run!

Girls get home from dads and second they walk in at 6pm he starts bawling them out, take shoes off, why you getting that book out me and your mum have spent all day doing house and garden! Then proceeds to repeatly ask if it's there bed time then gets all shouty at me about my lake of disapline and how I we are not going to agree to change to kids going to dads every other weekend etc etc, tell him I'm quite happy with the every other weekend arrangement he is suggesting!!

Then I just snapped, told him to shut up and that all he ever does is drink and shout, so he says right well I will go in morning and not come back so I said FINE packed his stuff, gave him quilt for sofa a went to bed, he says he will be gone by 6am as soon as he can drive!

Not really sure why I'm posting just needed to write this down, feeling ok maybe just a little nurvous, I know deep down things are not right and he will never be what I want for me DNS my kids but still it was 2 years and in that time we had slot of fun! But think I will be fine

OP posts:

Report

summermovedon · 02/12/2013 07:20

Good for you! Well done! Advice from someone who stupidly spent years trying to fix someone with a drink problem, walk away now and stay away! That is the best thing for you and your children!

Jaynebxl · 02/12/2013 07:30

Well done, glad he has gone. Just hope he doesn't cause any damage on his drunk drive home, stupid man.

tribpot · 02/12/2013 07:37

Please phone the police and report him for drink driving. The guy is off his trolley behind the wheel of a car. This is not a joke, he could kill people on his way home today. He's taken 'drinking juice' (fuck's sake) to take the edge of his shocking hangover, they could catch him literally drinking and driving.

rainbowfeet · 02/12/2013 07:39

You have done the right thing for yourself & your children.

Stay strong, move forward & be happy!

BeckAndCall · 02/12/2013 07:43

OP is clearly not going to phone the police and get him pulled for drink driving - that's going to be the problem of the poor victim he runs into on the way home.

You can't post about drink driving on MN and expect to get agreement OP - too many people suffer at the hands of people like you not taking responsibility

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 08:26

I hope this stupid Fucker isn't anywhere near the north west where my kids are walking to school

OP,, give us a general area and his number plate

If you won't report him, others will

akawisey · 02/12/2013 08:26

Well I'm leaving for work very soon and I hope he's not driving any where near me. Jesus.

sparklysilversequins · 02/12/2013 08:31

I'm sorry but I am not sure where you think your loyalty lies but this man could feasibly kill someone on the way home and it will be on your head too. If you need another reason - he shouted at and terrorised your kids. Phone the police and report him now! Do it. It's a good thing you will be doing.

Figgygal · 02/12/2013 08:38

Stop giving the OP a hard time she said that she didn't know when he'd left when she woke up and found it already gone it's very likely he is no longer driving.

Hope you feel okay today op and that you maintain the strength not to let him back in

sparklysilversequins · 02/12/2013 08:46

I am not giving her a hard time, it's great she got him out but she and her kids are not the only ones affected by this man behaviour and drink driving, shes rid if it now. I know loads of people who have done it and be banned but to be actually driving along swigging out of half a bottle of red wine?! This has to be stopped.

RhondaJean · 02/12/2013 08:50

I think op is getting a hard time because she is now aware it is something he does regularly. Also it was suggested she took the keys off him last night so he could not take the car.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 08:54

If I'd found out a Man I was in a relationship with drunk drive after pints and sambucca and actually called booze 'driving juice' the relationship would have ended there and then.

What a total knob! I also don't understand why you let him EVER shout at your girls, he didn't even live there- who did he think he was??

What a lucky escape you've had. Hopefully your dd's won't have been damaged at all by this idiot.

As its Xmas and you know he'll be drink driving I do think you should contact his local police station, give his registration number and pub/home address and times he'll be out. If you hear through the grapevine he's knocked someone over and killed them, you'll never ever forgive yourself.

Beastofburden · 02/12/2013 09:03

FHs report him, he is lethal and whoever he kills is going to be somebody's child.

Bitofkipper · 02/12/2013 09:30

Just read your other thread OP, it all becomes clear.

Mumof3girlys · 02/12/2013 09:49

I have no idea what time he left, by the time I woke up he had gone and already was home!

I myself had a bad car accident 4 years ago, I was hit when I was stationery by a drunk driver doing 70mph and pushed under a lorry! I do not in anyway tolerate drink driving, as he does not live with me his drink driving only became apprant last couple of weeks, hence why the relationship has run into so many troubles!

Thank you to everyone who has offered words for support and advice it really does mean a lot

OP posts:

sparklysilversequins · 02/12/2013 10:02

Will you report him?

Teeb · 02/12/2013 10:06

I really think you need to step back from men/dating and focus on your kids and the relationship you have with them.

You've absolutely done the right thing ending the relationship and I know you probably don't want to hear this but I can't begin to imagine how frightening and unpleasant it must be as a young child to a have a drunken man in my own home, somewhere which should be a safe haven, shouting at me and making me feel unwelcome. Do you understand that? Why the hell did you let this man treat your kids in that awful way? And now you are making jokes about going out for nice dinners with new men but oh don't worry, you won't introduce any of them to the kids 'for a while.'

Honestly, get a grip. You are a mother, these young girls guardian and role model, start acting like it before you put drama with pissed up blokes ahead of them. This is the kind of background that people can grow up to have a lot of issues over.

mameulah · 02/12/2013 10:09

If he is a really nice person except for the laziness, drinking and kid thing, well maybe he isn't so nice.

You are smart. Well done you. Your one step closer now to finding someone lovely. Who your girls can enjoy too!

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 10:10

You sound a lot younger than 34, OP.

Now you are going moon-eyed over another man after "exchanging a look".

Be on your own for a while. Is your life always a series of dramas ? Perhaps tone the soap opera down, it's not meant to be an episode of Eastenders.

sparklysilversequins · 02/12/2013 10:10

She's met someone else Teeb if she hadn't she would still be seeing this loser and him shouting at her kids and drink driving on a daily basis would still be Just Fine.

OP I am not often on here but you did it. I think you need to stop thinking about men and start thinking about your children.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 10:17

Just read your other thread about your bday. I really agree that you need to take some time to be by yourself and work on your self esteem. It's really significant that its 3 girls you're raising- they are learning how to be a woman by what they see.

Hope you're ok today and you have some good friends to talk to. You are so blessed to have 3 children, you don't need a man to complete the picture.

ImperialBlether · 02/12/2013 19:40

Sorry, but I don't believe you've only recently found out he was drink driving. He's driven away from yours pissed as hell and I would bet anything he's arrived at yours in the car straight from the pub.

He's absolutely vile. Your poor children. Do them a favour and stay away from men for a long, long time. How you could let him shout at them like that is beyond me.

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MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 20:37

I agree, IB. Thankfully OP has done the right thing. Not before time, though. I also think she will walk, giggling as she goes, straight into the next fucked-up situation.

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