Posted about this before and things were slinky more tolerable as he has been a bit nicer recently BUT we are in reality living separate lives and I'm pregnant and have small DCs having given up my job to look after them. I have no income and no independence. 'D'P has never been supportive, I think he is probably having an affair judging by his nasty malicious behaviour and emotional detachment and the final straw tonight was him telling me to and oh why don't you go and cut your arm. I've done it only very recently and found the whole thing terrifying. He creates severe anxiety and insecurity and then plays on this. I come second to his work and he spends most of his time at home on social network sites these days adding 'random people' for 'work'. Anyway that's a side issue.
He was going to leave a few weeks back but wormed his way back in has been disgusting towards me and my DD and told me he is sick of both of us and wants nothing to do with us and doesn't want to be here. I said fine leave you were supposed to leave a few weeks ago but he has no money so can't leave. Sorry this is so disjointed but I'm a bit of a mess and really need some support to get through this. I can't believe anyone would use something like that against another person, I just can't. He has form for nastiness so I guess I should be that surprised. If he is having some kind of affair and everything points to it although he says based on what evidence as he has done nothing to suggest it then why doesn't he just go, I don't understand any of this, all it know is I can't take it anymore but don't have the energy to do anything about any of it anymore. He is happily snoring away on the sofa which is where he sleeps while I'm once again in my room devastated. It's hell on earth and I was hoping someone could offer coping strategies to deal with something like this as I feel so very alone.
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DP told me to self harm after nasty argument
Whiterageofdespair · 31/10/2013 01:02
Hello Twinklestein 
No haven't heard from them. Supposed to see a family counsellor today but not sure if he will 'remember' to turn up. He has told me he can't cope with any if it anymore and I'm trying to destroy him apparently. So I'm back here again. Thanks to everyone I'm nowhere near as teary!
It won't get better - first off that's the one thing you need to get out of your head. I know it's easier and kinder in the short term to try and hang onto this thought but please forget it. It doesn't happen, I'm sorry but it's tough love.
Now is the time to think of you and your children. Don't waste another thought contemplating his moods, what he says to you, etc. He's been a twat of the highest order and that is what it is. It's now time to think about you, and what you need to do to get out.
Have you got any family and friends to support you? Someone has suggested Women's Aid. Give them a ring firstly and speak to them, that can be the first step of your plan of action.
Yours and your childrens happiness and safety is the most important thing now, don't spend anymore time thinking about him, he hasn't been that considerate towards you.
And dont forget you have people here for you 
Urgh so sick of all his bullshit. It's really is bullshit and thanks to the many wonderful women on here I'm starting to realise I was a entire whole fully functional human being before this idiot turned up and decided it's his role as a man to call the shots. Doesn't work with me too well as he is finding out. Most people would object to shady treatment is imagine but he is failing to grasp this. Idiot. And a nasty one at that. Still reeling at how nasty this man can be, bitchy men full of malice are strange creatures I must say. Scorned man feelings maybe 
it's all very immature and really sad. Such a waste of everyone's time.
Can't live on my sofa forever though can he.
No, he can't live on your sofa for ever, and it looks as though he has no rights of residency in your home at all?
If you don't want him there he is trespassing. You have a lot of power here: you can take control of your space. Give WA a ring, and set a time and date to change those locks. Preferably this weekend.
What he can or can't afford is his problem. 100%. He has somewhere he can go, let him go there. Whiterage, you can do this 
Him leaving is not his choice it is yours, pack his bags, leave them outside, lock the doors and if you need to phone the police do so. You can phone them anyway on the non emergency line, set up a time for you to get all the abuse down on file with a ref no. As others have said speak with womens aid, also get any benefits sorted out in your name, seek legal help (legal aid can be given in situations of abuse). Make sure that your gp is fully up to date with your situation, any other professionals such as hv, child care workers etc. make sure you get the support that you need to get this 'man' out of your space.
How dare he treat you like this 
How's the baby now?
I have been in your shoes, pregnant with a young child & abusive partner. It's miserable & the thought of doing it alone is scary.
But honestly, the truth is, it's a thousand times easier being a single mum, and having no help than it is to be raising young children with an abusive partner.
He's sapping all your energy.
Someone said to me on here, that 'its better to be alone than in bad company'.
It's so true. You can be happy. He's ruining your enjoyment of your babies .
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