The more I read, the more concerned I feel about you, purrpurr. There are many far more erudite posts here than I can manage, but they are all saying the same thing.
My father was probably a Narc, from what my mother used to tell me - terribly self-important, and probably a bully. Somehow, women seem to seek out partners with their fathers' traits, for good or bad.
This: I was raised in a home where the opinions of my father were the most important. He was threatening and controlling to boot so it wasn't like he earned respect and we fawned over him, just that in his own insidious ways he scared us into following orders, in the tiniest of ways. You couldn't be fat, for example. As a result my mum found it impossible to be slim and I have never been even remotely bigger than slim until pregnancy., my H had 2 daughters by his first wife, the younger is late 40's and a rebel and a spitfire, so he didn't bother with her. The older girl, now early 50's, was the meek and mild one, and not as intelligent - I've been told that he used to tell her she was "fat, stupid and ugly", and constantly criticised - he made a point of never praising anyone. She became so thin she was almost anorexic, and for her, everything in her life must be absolutely perfect.
Ring any bells? Both daughters have strong narc traits, albeit in different ways, but how much is nature or nurture is impossible to say, both, probably. You don't want your DD to grow up in fear of her father, which she would, undoubtedly.
Don't for a second, believe a Serious Conversation will work - If, IF he is a narc, he lives on a different planet to you, his brain is wired differently, and he lacks empathy with any other human being, therefore he cannot relate anything you say, to himself. He cannot step into your shoes and imagine what you feel.
He knows exactly how to pull your strings, doesn't he? You were probably rather vulnerable, as you say you look up to men as authority figures, and were grateful he proposed. Narcs seek out the vulnerable, because they want the control - my H used to say to me that POWER was the most important thing to him - I used to think he was a bit odd, but of course now I know why.
Nothing you do will change him, can you really imagine what it will be like living like this for the rest of your life? Absolute hell.
Attila again is right on the button, and I'll say again - look up NPD and see if he fits.
And Radical, I'm sorry you have found yourself in this situation - it comes as a bit of a shock, doesn't it? But now you know, you are armed with the weapons to deal with it - you sound an intelligent person, you just need to make your plans whatever they are. Mine was somatic too.
No other advice to give except, make your plans to leave, if you want to save your sanity.