lowercase that is a brilliant expression "throwing glitter on shit"!
Hollie, first of all, what do you mean by soulmate? Is it just an expression you use to describe a perfect relationship? Or do you believe that on this earth, there are certain souls/spirits who are meant for each other and will be together in the afterlife?
If the former, then, frankly you can't possibly know if he is or not, based on the amount of contact you have. It is so easy to have a perfect relationship when you have none of the joint worries and stresses that couples have. You don't have to deal with him coming home in a bad mood because something didn't go well at work or the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up or leaves pubes in the shower. His wife has to deal with that. And he in turn, doesn't have to put up with you snapping at him because your period is due or that you fart in bed. Your husband has to deal with that.
If you believe in souls/spirits and that you were meant to be together, then I can relate a story to you. I read a lot of books on spirits and souls after my dd died. One was by a medium who was visited by people who wanted to talk to their loved ones who had passed over. One lady came to him because she wanted to talk to her OM who had passed over. When he was alive, she and he had described each other as soulmates and had said that he should have married her instead of his dw. She went to that medium expecting to be told that he would be waiting for her and that she had been his true love. But the message the medium passed on was that no, although he had loved her on earth, his true love was in fact his wife and that he had treated his wife very badly by having an affair with her. She left the session quite upset but in no doubt that it was a message from her OM.
I am not going to say that that last story is definitely true because you never can tell if that kind of story is true but because a lot of the stories in that book rang true for me, I was inclined to believe it. There are many here who will say it's patent nonsense which is also a valid point of view!
If your husband is a good man and a good father, then he doesn't deserve the fallout of your affair. Neither do your children who are innocent parties in all of this. Neither does the OM's wife and neither does his dc. So the only people who can possibly benefit are you and the OM. And even at that, your lives would still not be blissful, there will be battles over custody/access, stress over money and heartbreak because both of you will have periods of time when your children are with other people. Your children might not get on with your OM, and his child might not get on with you and possibly resent you for taking his/her Daddy away.
And there's the additonal issues that could arise. How can you ever trust each other if you know that the relationship started as cheating?
Do the right thing and end it. It will be hard and it will hurt but will result in less pain for everyone in the end. And you will be able to put more effort into your marriage.