he says he loves you but he treats you as if you are irrelevant to him
This was true in the past. The past that I am not able to let go. He has being putting in a lot of effort lately. Real change. I am the one who treats him as irrelevant at present.
You could choose to simply go and do what you want to do regardless of whether he comes along or not
This is what I have being doing, always, even before getting pregnant, I travelled with friends whit out him...also because he works shifts, and sometimes weekends, it means I can never plan that much with him in mind anyway so I usually plan to myself and my DC only and I am so used to it that I don't really mind uf he doesn't come. Bust when is a special occasion or when I can't/won't take DC with me, he takes time off work.
take up hobbies that occupy your mind and give you a sense of accomplishment. Let him sit and get pissed all the time if that's what he wants to do
This is one of the areas I am working to improve. I am doing a new course to enhance ,my skills at work place, took up 2 new hobbies, re-joining a spiritual group and even looking at more classes however it is still difficult to attend since he work shifts.
another option is to think "sod that for a game of soldiers" and think that if you're doing that you're pretty much just living the life of a single parent anyway so you might as well go the whole hog and leave him. That way at least you have the chance of going on to form a relationship with someone new who doesn't drain the life out of you
I think about it a lot, but I want to be careful. Most of the time it doesn't seem it is the right time yet, even though we are unhappy. Or maybe I am also just creating excuses.
or you could carry on hoping that one day he'll wake up and start seeing the world through your eyes and decide to change. All the time you're playing the "wait and hope" game, your life is slowly trickling through your fingers
Maybe if I carry on leaving my way and let him leave his own way, he will be the one regretting his waste of time later in life...
how long are you prepared to wait in hope that he will magically change from the selfish drunk that he is into the caring and involved husband you think he should be? You've given him seven years to change and he hasn't managed it yet. How much more of your life are you willing to let go by?
He has managed to change in those 7 years. It is a lot better than it was before. He isn't a drunk. He tries to be more caring and affectionate I shut him off.
but when the differences get too great or too annoying then what you're looking at is 'incompatibility' ... and then only a fool would accept that as a way of life.
This was exactly the point i was trying to make during the last conversation. I am sure this is in his head and he is processing it. I need to set up a occasion for a conversation. But we need to talk a lot more before I just demand separation or divorce. I need him to understand me better.