Are my husband and daughter right to be ashamed of me?

[Aldobaggins]

I've just sat through dinner with my 2 teenagers and husband where a discussion about going on holiday ended with my husband and daughter basically telling me I'm just. a big fat embarrassment. I'm about 7 stone overweight and dress comfortably, especially when I'm not at work. I'm not interested in dressing up to impress other people. Surely even if they don't like the way I look, it's not right to bully me like this.
Basically if my husband left tomorrow, I'd be over the moon. There's been a long history of him being critical about my appearance (not that he's any oil painting) and we haven't had sex for about 6 months, mainly because I don't want to do it with someone who is either completely insensitive, or else thinks it's ok to be nasty to me. My daughter is being set aa poor example by him in getting at me, but I can forgive her for being a shallow self obsessed teenager.

[Aldobaggins]

Thanks for your replies. Will mull it all over - probably for another long time till the next time he really gets on my nerves.

[Hatpin]

Yes see a solicitor, in fact find a couple who do free half hour initial appts and see both. Ask if they can recommend a mediator (cheaper than doing it all via your own solicitors, as mediation charges are fixed).

[EdgeOfSociety]

Plus, I don't want to make assumptions about you Aldo but you may just find that the weight falls off very naturally when you just feel a bit more settled and happy in yourself. I can't advise with the solicitor thing I'm afraid but I do wish you well. FWIW, one of my good friends is possibly a similar size to you - about 16 stone (though slowly losing it) and she is beautiful. Gorgeous honey coloured wavy long hair, beautiful big sparkly blue eyes, in short her face is so impossibly lovely you barely notice her figure. X

[Kafri]

Don't wait for him to leave you..... walk out that door, it'll be the best thing you ever do. who needs enemies when you've got a husband like that.

I keep fretting about my post pg tummy, i've never been slim and pg didn't help in that department defo nothing to do with the copious amount of chocolate i ate but my dh doesn't care.

(Not so D)H should be ashamed that he's teaching your dd to be so judgemental too - it'll not do her any favours in the long run.

Get packing, walk out that door and don't look back!

[SolidGoldBrass]

Yes, go and see a solicitor and ask how to proceed. Remember that you do not need your husband's permission or co-operation to end your marriage. You can decide for yourself that you do not want to live with an arsehole.
I also think you should get rid of him for your DD's sake. His behaviour is quite likely to put her at risk of an eating disorder, if she doesn't already have one - a teenager who is constantly hearing her father make negative remarks about fat women may be really frightened of gaining weight because she thinks that will make her father turn on her, as well.

[mathanxiety]

You'll never lose weight while you're stressed and feeling someone has their claws out for you will leave you stressed like nothing else will.

[CalicoRose]

If you move to a cheaper house, your DD doesn't have to move school (if you live in the UK). Once you've got a place at school, it's yours.

So as long as she can still commute to school you can move anywhere you like.

Can you live off your income? If so I don't see why you can't just find somewhere to rent - and move into it.

Would you give your DD a choice as to who she lives with?