Is this a normal way to speak for some men/ people ?

[Domesticsloven]

Ds asked for a drink from dh tonight he is 10 . He does get his own drinks too. Dh said " get your own you little git " (shock) he was " joking" and meant he could get his own, apparently
WTF .

This is a professional man , why would he use a word like that to a child? It has really shocked me.

However I am quite genteel so AIBU ? (but to you nice reasonable relationships peeps)

[arghhhmiddleage]

Oh, and I'd be more offended by old than git!

[expatinscotland]

What's wrong with, 'Go do it yourself?'

[cafecito]

I don't think it is acceptable, but I stem from an abusive childhood that led into an abusive relationship with a DP who constantly verbally abused me and started to speak about DC in similar tones, and then TO DS at which point I snapped and left (after lots of other things)

so to me, no it is NOT okay to say that to a child. It is NOT a term of endearment, ever, that would be something like monkey or lazy bum or whatever softer term should be used. Sounds very hostile in tone - is your DS naughty? Have there been recent behavioural difficulties that could have led to your DH having a shorter fuse than normal?

[applepieinthesky]

Wow I honestly never knew people were offended by that term. My dad often called me a git or little bugger when growing up. In our family it's a term of endearment. Much like calling someone a cheeky monkey.

[Wetthemogwai]

Was about to say what zoo said

Don't be so soft, he said little git, it's hardly abuse! If you really don't like it then tell him so and ask him to stop.... Bit of a none issue, no?

[cafecito]

I'm not offended by the term generally but directed at a child, seems wrong. Especially if the tone was one of anger. OP I think you should ask him to be mindful of his language around your DS. I agree it sounds like a non issue overall, but maybe say to him out of DS earshot - please stop speaking to him like that it's not nice or necessary- something along those lines. There is no need to call a child names, ever.

[Domesticsloven]

OK general feeling is its OK

From my pov it seemed odd , not a amily jokey term, ds was being a bit annoying and I think it was said in annoyance and maybe came out clumsily sounding nasty when it could have been intended as playful.

Dh lacks respect for women and other people in the way he speaks sometimes. He once said my elder ds was " a bloody idiot as far as he was concerned" and calls women bonkers / crackers on the tv etc. some days more tan others .

Not a medical thin I am also medical.

[CabbageLeaves]

Tone would matter more to me than terminology. I'm cool with git said with a smile

[kalidanger]

'Git' is a red herring.

H was rude to the DC yet again
He wasn't joking
He dismissed OP, telling her to 'shut up'
H is controlling and rude and OP doesn't know what to do about it

[thesnootyfox]

My goodness, some of you would have a field day in our house.

[Thewhingingdefective]

Depends on the tone and intention behind how it was said, IMHO.

I sometimes call my kids little buggers (which they quite rightly pull me up on as they are very anti-swearing) but it is never said in a mean way, always a cheeky way. If your DH called your DS a git in a jokey way I don't think it's that terrible a thing to hear, especially for a year old. As long as there is generally a good level of mutual respect between DH and DS and your DS understands how to be polite, the odd cheeky put down from DH isn't the end of the world.

[SpringtimeForHitler]

We got called Git, Little Bugger and my personal favourite 'Daft Apeth' had no idea I should have called Social Services on my Mum

[Pendipidy]

You sound like you are talking about your neighbours or someone you don't know very well, not your husband! Don't you know him by now, how he talks and thinks?
My dh would say it too i wouldn't.he says lots of things i don't like but i cannot change him. He is not perfect and neither am i. My dh would call a random woman on the tv a tart . I think that is wholly inappropriate and tell him so most times but that is how he talks most of the time cos it amuses him in his childish sense of humour!

[SpringtimeForHitler]

Oh and Silly Sod

[WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome]

I'm getting the feeling that you're quite uncomfortable around him OP and possibly flinch at some of his views?

Tell me if I'm reading too much into it, but he seems quite...anti-women? Or is he an equal opportunist slater of people?

[tallwivglasses]

Exactly Kali. He told OP to shut up and go to bed if she didn't like it. He thinks he's above everyone and can talk to people like shite. I bet he's not very nice to his junior staff either.

I hear the sound of tippy toes on eggshells here...

[charitygirl]

Git is such a term of affection in my house that it has its own diminutive, 'gitlet'.

[discorabbit]

charity

don't think i would get my knickers in a twist over the word

[pixi2]

My goodness. I hope he has a readonzble statement as to why he thought this is acceptable.

I am like you op and this would cause great offence. DC are little rascal and little minx. I pulled DH up twice for inappropriate name calling. Fortunately he'll do anything I want for an easy life.

[pixi2]

Sorry, reasonable.

My phone doesn't like me much right now.

[ElvisIsKing]

Why won't you answer AF's question? Has he always been doing this? It's hard to answer if you don't give a bit more context/background

As you can see most think it's ok in some circumstances in jest but I don't think this was, was it?

[kalidanger]

I think the OP had gone as so few people have read the thread properly. I wouldn't give her a hard time about that tbh.

[ClartyCarol]

So OP, he sounds like a male chauvinistic pig which presumably you have known for years. Arrogant doctor and all the rest of it, with apologies to all the nice docs out there. Now you're starting to worry about the way in which he speaks to your dc, so the answer to that is pull him up on it. You actually sound like you're a bit wary of him, would you say that's the case?

Our household is quite verbally rambunctious, but as other posters have said it is fine when done with humour and affection. Don't really use git, when I think about it the most common term of endearment tends to be "Yer daft plank!".

[ClartyCarol]

Ah well, too late.

[NicknameTaken]

Totally agree with kalidanger's post of 09.29.

I accept "git" is used with affection in many houses. Nobody's claiming that it is by itself an act of abuse.

What's behind it seems to be a pattern of OP's H speaking contemptuously to his wife and child, in a way that is distressing OP but is subtle enough for her to find it difficult to put her finger on the exact problem. It does not seem possible for her to have a mutually respectful conversation with him to express her concerns.

Those of you dismissing it may not have experience of being at the receiving end of verbal abuse. The actual words can look mild written down, but having them hissed at you with fury and contempt is a horrible experience.