Is this a normal way to speak for some men/ people ?

[Domesticsloven]

Ds asked for a drink from dh tonight he is 10 . He does get his own drinks too. Dh said " get your own you little git " (shock) he was " joking" and meant he could get his own, apparently
WTF .

This is a professional man , why would he use a word like that to a child? It has really shocked me.

However I am quite genteel so AIBU ? (but to you nice reasonable relationships peeps)

[AnyFucker]

I would have said orthopaedic surgeon

[Pan]

the long thread bit? Just that it looks like some threads where a poster asks quite a narrow question, and in responding to answers more and more troubling stuff comes out.

Apols if this isn't one of them. Still at a doctor having such severe communication deficits.

[AnyFucker]

I would have thought it was going to be a long thread since attracting red stuff from rocks can be an arduous business

[MarcelineTheVampireQueen]

While I am sure we shouldnt call others name, Ive often said something like you cheeky fecker or some such in the home. For example, if my DS was sitting there and told me get him a drink, I would probably say" What did your last slave die of?! Get your own you lazy lump!" I am sure your 10 year old has heard and said worse than git.

Comparing it to child abuse is ridiculous and offensive imvho.

[nametakenagain]

Yanbu. This is not ok.

[AnyFucker]

extracting

[Domesticsloven]

Should have been an orthopod true.

[Domesticsloven]

Sorry am tired yet concerned and on annoying keyboard. Last night only had 5 hr sleep and in for 7 tomoz

[Domesticsloven]

Verbal abuse .

[Domesticsloven]

Lazy lump is fine tho isn't it no comparison.

[tigerdriverII]

I would say something like that to my DS - not the same words but probably "lazy little bugger" or similar. But if nothing has been said like that and this is new, yes it might be a bit odd. However at that age they know all sorts from the playground so I wouldn't sweat it too much

[Pan]

agree it's verbal abuse. If I used that word to dd in any tone she would just stare dumbfounded at me.

[MarcelineTheVampireQueen]

Calling a child a git once is not verbal abuse. It might not be the best thing to call someone but it is not verbal abuse.

[Domesticsloven]

Ok fair enough . Not a word I would expect an adult to use to a child but there we go .

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

I often call my ds a lazy git. I dont find it offensive. should I google what it means?

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

I googled and yes what I call my ds is true

1. A completely ignorant, childish person with no manners.

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

He is 15 btw.

[AnyFucker]

< tries a different approach >

How long has he been verbally abusing your son ? Is this a recent thing ? Is he trying to make a "man" of him, now he is growing up a bit ? Was his own father the same kind of patriarchal and arrogant cock of the family (common in medical circles) ?

Please can you answer clearly if this is a sudden beginning of stuff you are concerned about or if he has always been like this. If he has always been like this, why is it bothering you now (bearing in mind your son is 10yo)

[MarcelineTheVampireQueen]

I google and urban dictionary has some interesting takes on it, sometimes it is meant offensively and sometimes it is said with affection.

Honestly, if that is the extent of it all OP I wouldnt worry. If there is more then say so.

If we all told you that you were right, what would you do? Would you look for an apology for your son? Would you take yourself and your son away from what you see as a verbally abusive relationship? You are not happy with what he said, how do you propose to resolve it?

[LesBOFerables]

I remember reading a 'humorous' book about toddlers years ago when my eldest was a baby, called How To Be A Little Sod. So yes, I think in a lighthearted way, words on a par with 'git' are normal enough ^if used in humour and with affection. If spat out with contempt, then obviously no.

[AnyFucker]

I think Op simply wants a few people to say "that is horrid" and that's the extent of it.

Am I wrong, OP ?

[LesBOFerables]

if used with humour and affection

[AngelWreakinHavoc]

How did your ds react op? did he git get himself a drink?

[ZooAnimals]

I think it depends on tone and normal usage of the word.

To me git is fairly harmless. I hear it a lot when people are affectionately having a go about their DC's as in 'he's a cheeky git/get'. It also makes me think of The Royle Family, I think Jim calls Anthony 'a lazy git' a few times.

Fool is even less offensive, and widely used as a jokey insult when someone has done something a bit stupid.

So I wouldn't say either are even remotely close to child abuse. Having said that, if your DH would never normally use those words/wasn't joking then I suppose it's a different matter.

[FantasticDay]

How did he say it? Was it in a jokey way - in which case I wouldn't be bothered. Or a nasty way? I don't think it's the words somuch as the intent behind them. Do your dh and ds have a good relationship generally?