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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Is this a normal way to speak for some men/ people ?

111 replies

Domesticsloven · 17/01/2013 23:27

Ds asked for a drink from dh tonight he is 10 . He does get his own drinks too. Dh said " get your own you little git " (shock) he was " joking" and meant he could get his own, apparently
WTF .

This is a professional man , why would he use a word like that to a child? It has really shocked me.

However I am quite genteel so AIBU ? (but to you nice reasonable relationships peeps)

OP posts:

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Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:27

Little fool was in anger
Little git I never heard anyone say before we don' t swear etc its odd .

He is from a family where his father was in charge but mother stronger character than me . Different from my family , his father kicked the dog when it had been naughty .

I am uneasy about it and the way he doesn't to like doing anything girl orientated like joining choir or gymnastics or similar.. But he shouldn't ' t say it out loud to ds even if he thinks it .

It's mild but I don't like it. It was not said joking or nicely don't know if that was by mistake. Bottom line is I don,t like his approach but we are all different and I can't control it.

He is trying to man him up yes

OP posts:

Spero · 18/01/2013 00:28

o dear. i had better report myself to the local child protection team pronto as I have been subjecting my daughter to vile verbal abuse for many years now.

I honestly don't think the word 'git' if said in a light jokey tone is anything to worry about at all. But as others have said, if it is 'spat out' in a horrible tone, that is different. But anything said in a horrible tone to a child is nasty.

you really need to be clear how it was said.

MurderOfGoths · 18/01/2013 00:28

In my family "git" was always used affectionately

Mind you, so was "bugger".

Christ, my parents sound really rough now don't they?! Honestly they were/are so well spoken and polite! Totally not potty mouthed nasties at all! Mum used to tell me off if I said "damn".

Spero · 18/01/2013 00:29

Murder, same here. I am actually really surprised to hear that some people think 'git' is a swear word!

MurderOfGoths · 18/01/2013 00:30

X-post, if he wasn't being jokey/affectionate then obviously that isn't right.

MurderOfGoths · 18/01/2013 00:31

Spero Most of my friend's families use it affectionately too! Has no one else ever seen the "Old Git" type presents?

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:32

Old git is ok

OP posts:

Pan · 18/01/2013 00:34

dreadfully ageist, but that seems to be okay generally. Never understood why.

AngelWreakinHavoc · 18/01/2013 00:34

I am uneasy about it and the way he doesn't to like doing anything girl orientated like joining choir or gymnastics or similar..

do you mean your dh?

I could never imagine my oh doing gymnastics or joining the choir

Pan · 18/01/2013 00:36

trying to 'man him up'? By choice of diction like that.

I can understand your frustration.

McBalls · 18/01/2013 00:37

I find threads like this odd.

As though the OP is asking about the behaviour of someone they vaguely know in passing.

Surely you must know whether his use of that word, what it says about him, whether it was barbed or playful or whatever based on your 10+ year knowledge of his character?

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:37

Doesn't like ds to do anything more girl orientated and not rugby like I mean but often says " It's for girls"

OP posts:

MurderOfGoths · 18/01/2013 00:38

Calling him "git" in combination with the "it's for girls" comments would have me hitting the roof! That's not on at all.

McBalls · 18/01/2013 00:38

Well no, that's unfair - maybe you are pretty sure it was aggressive and unkind but he has you doubting your own judgement?

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:39

Yes it's odd I agree because I don't really understand his behaviour.

OP posts:

LesBOFerables · 18/01/2013 00:40

Yes, McBalls- we are not talking about a Martian being studied by an anthropologist; it is the OP's husband. Surely you know his character and sense of humour, Domesticsloven? Do you really need us to decipher it?

AnyFucker · 18/01/2013 00:43

You are sounding like a surrendered wife, OP.

You absolutely do have input into how your son is treated.

AnyFucker · 18/01/2013 00:43

....or should do

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:43

I don't really understand . Thats the trouble. Why he has such an agenda . I think there is underlying problem but it can t be changed .

OP posts:

LesBOFerables · 18/01/2013 00:44

Personally, I would find it colloquial rather than coarse, but I'm surprised you are perplexed at the distinction after several years of being together. This is the sort of thing that you work out whether you share an approach on while dating, I would have thought.

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:48

I can be confident but not as much as him, he is a bit overbearing in his views.

It is disappointing to have to oppose things all the time for my sons benefit and not be listened to or taken on board properly.

OP posts:

Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:48

Ok

OP posts:

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Domesticsloven · 18/01/2013 00:49

We are together from very young from when students .

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ZooAnimals · 18/01/2013 01:36

old git is ok, but lazy git is child abuse?!

Good grief. It's quite a fine line isn't it?

arghhhmiddleage · 18/01/2013 02:02

I'm one of those kind of professionals and use git affectionally. I call DP that all the time and he's never complained of being abused . I guess it depends on the tone and context, but I have never meant it maliciously.

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