Is my husband playing away or trying to???!

[twentyeightagain]

I need some help - husband working away for 18 month or so, comes home at weekends - too far for me to go to him - I'm at home with 2 under fours. He's always been workaholic so used to him being busy/away. He's a good dad/husband and does a lot when here but strange behaviour lately - new wardrobe, little digs (I have been feeling exhausted recently), forgot my b'day then went overboard over the following months. I realise it looks glaringly obvious when I read through it but he HAS been put under stress at work and is attentive. He hates his job but he is earning good money and not much work where we are. He keeps everything on work phone/laptop so I have no real need to use or snoop! I lost the plot at him the other day as I feel something is up and he said he isn't that sort of person and I should know that after 15 yrs!
How can I tell if he's just placating me to carry on with whatever he's doing or if he's telling me the truth? I have seen work messages to someone he's never mentioned to me. Just a couple - nothing personal but I just a bad feeling:(

[OneMoreChap]

... And now you have the benefit of him knowing you don't trust him. Which will make him ? Doubt you, well done.

[cahu]

OneMoreChap.... how patronising.

[Auntienokids]

Hi, thought I'd relate my story. My instincts were telling me something not quite right with DP. He works from home alot so on the computer nearly all day and evening. When I entered room, laptop would be immediately closed down or minimised, took me a while, as you say my radar became more sensitive, I'd then try and enter room quickly and watch more intently, but couldn't find anything. I then heard the phone being deleted as the sound was on his phone, I heard it in the morning as he got dressed in the next room, I was half asleep and I thought I was hearing things. I'm not a snoop by nature but my instincts were raw, he would be the last person you would thing to be playing up! I looked at his phone and found that he was looking at dating sites, I said to myself, so,,that's what you're up to, it all made sense about the computer. I asked him if he was having an affair which he denied and he was mortified. He said that the sites were adverts/pop ups.We weren't living together full-time and I'd go to his house to snoop, one day I couldn't get hold of him and I drove to his house and asked where he was he said, he was home, I said no you're not I'm here, he arrived 10 mins after coming from the oppostite direction to where he had been that day. He then opened the boot and a bag he normaly does not take was in there..he was really angry I had turned up tried to turn things on me. I know this is detailed but I'm demonstrating all the small things that are almost indistiguishable soon take on a different meaning. I looked in his diary and saw the name and number of a woman on that day. I phoned her up and she admitted that they had met on a dating site. I confronted him that he had met someone and he denied it. I then said well who's(OW)......? and I have her number so we'll call her shall we? and only then did he admit it. The punchline is Proof not truth because if you confront and he denies if you're unsure you won't belive him and you're no further forward, Just my experience, you can draw your own conclusions about your situation.