Pregnant and want to break up with boyfriend but he refuses to leave :-( Help!

[Vintagelover]

Hello there.

I'm realy hoping someone can give me some advice.

I am 30 and my boyf is 28 . I have been with my boyf on and off for three years. We have both done bad things in the relationship. He is a compulsive liar, he lies all the time. For the first 2 years we were together he swore blue in the face he had a driving liscense and could drive ( until I found out for sure that he couldnt) he's lied about past relationships and jobs and other things but mainly he has lied about money. Big lies not little white ones, with each lie I found out I was left feeling insecure and untrusting. I broke up with him on a number of occasions and He promised to change and then again I would discover another recent massive lie. I know it doesnt sound that bad but it is and I just want to make this quick rather than go in depth about the lying which isnt the main reason for writing just the cause. My wrong doing is that I have cheated on him a couple of times. I told him about it. I can honistly say that if he hadnt of constantly broken my trust after being taken back again and again I wouldnt have done it but i know that does not make it ok.

I tried to break up with him over a year ago and he managed to barge his way into his house on the pretense he wanted to get his belonings. He then hit himself in the face with his phone causing a mark, he called the police and said it was me. I got arressted and spent hours in a police cell being treated like a criminal for something I didnt do.
The case was dropped when he went and told the police it wasnt me and that he was lying .. and all he got was a fine.

Stupidly I took him back after this I loved him and just kept thinking maybe he would change. We broke up a number of times and I took him back.

That is the basic background of the situation

We have been living together for about 8 months

In October I found out I was pregnant. Things were a bit rough. I told him I was pregnant. I also told him I had cheated on him ( though the baby is definatly his the dates were no way near each other I just wanted to be honest)

Like i said things were rough , so I told him but i didnt beg or plead for him to stay. He decided of his own free will that he wanted to tsay and be a couple and 'forgave me' for cheating. I was happy with this as I still wanted to make things work.

In novemeber i found out the he had being lying to me yet again and hadnt paid the rent properly, which is in my name for 6 months, leaving me in debt by around £800 and making me lie to my landlord without even realising i was doing so- he swore blind to me that he had and even when the landlord sent me his bank statemnt he still swore he had, even shouting at me and making me feel like i was the one in the wrong.. It took him over a week to admit he hadnt .. then he went to pay some in and lied again about how much it was... and it goes on and on...

Suffice to say ive had enough. My trust is gone, my security is gone. This person who is meant to love me lies to me and hurts me and shouts and screams in my face and throws things over and punches things and is violent and abusive (though never hits me) and I dont deserve it. Yes I cheated and I know that was wrong but if he feels like that he should have left me, he should leave me and he wont, even though I dont want him here.
I told him im sorry , i told him i dont love him the same and that i dont feel secure with him but he wont listen. He doesnt understand how his lying has affected me even though we have discussed it over and over again, I dont think he will ever change and he has had to many chances.

I asked him to leave in November, I also tried to break up with him and he just wont let me. ( I am scared he will do something like call the police again for something i havnt done) He keeps threatening that he will have my baby taken away.. ( not that he could I am a good person, dont smoke, drink or do drugs or anything else that would give reason for a baby to be taken away (where as he smoke and smokes weed) - its just horrible and worrying hearing him say it)

Each time i said i wanted to break up he shouts right up in my face, calls me all number of names, pushes things, hits things, he always brings up me cheating trying to turn the things around, but when i say well you should leave me then, he wont. He pushed the christmas tree over at xmas and stomped on the metal box of quality streets, destroying the lid, he also always steals my phone and computer off me while im using it and wont give it back ... these are just of an example of the way he acts when i say i want to split up and for him to move out...

So anyway it was novemember i asked him to go and he is still here. Eventually he 'agreed' to move out . It was meant to be on March 16th but he said he didnt have enough money so then it was changed to April 16th which is in a few weeks.. he is now saying that hes not going to be able to go then as he hasnt got enough money - but he went on a stag do the other night, spend about £300 on clothes and bought a number of take aways..

I keep saying he needs to go on the 16th ( im almost 7 months pregnant now i just want to be left alone and get my house sorted and stop having this person around who talks to me like shit and shouts at me, but also expects that i still make him dinner, look after him and let him use my phone whenever he wants becuase he didnt pay the bill on his ) He says that i am heartless bitch and will make him homeless. Even with the things he has to pay out he will still have about £1000 -£1200 on the 16th which will be fine for a house share or studio or even a private 1 bed rental but he is adiment that he will only move to a flat with a garden or balcony and that he will move in with his friend (who needs to give at least a months notice and hasnt yet) He also has his birthday and his friends wedding coming up and just bought himself an expensive pair of sunglasses.. all which he deems more important than moving when he said he will.

I realy dont know what to do - he has had since november - almost 6 months - to prepare for moving out. The flat is in my name though he has been paying the rent(in part) whilst living here, but i will be paying from 16th onwards and i pay all of the bills which are also in my name.

He has also not bought one single thing for the baby. He keeps shouting at me and upseting me.I told him making me cry and the stress is realy bad for the baby but he just scoffs at the like im lying.

I said we are broken up and he agreed and i changed the relationship status on facebook and now he is ranting and raving that i have to change it back, but i dont want to be with him!! :-( :-(

I dont know what to do, i am being forced to be with someone I dont want to be with and to live with someone who just wont leave me alone.

I know this is long winded and full of spelling mistakes! :-) But any legal and emotional advice would be realy very helpful.

Also i just want to say that hes not a horrible person and used to be realy lovely and still can be sometimes (apart from all the lying) he just has changed towards me but also has a temper and wont let go or believe we should be apart.. He will be a good dad just not a good partner. :-(

He just doesnt seem to understand it doesnt matter what the situation, who has done who wrong and what has happened.. at the end of the day if one person does not want to be with the other person then they should have the right to choose not to be ... :-( ( I have explained this till I am blue in the face and it is like talking to a brick wall.

Please help!

[ineedabodytransplant]

I know this is an old revived thread but does anyone know what happened to the OP?