How often do you see a new boyfriend???

[frazzle26]

I'm newly back on the dating scene and have been going out with a very nice chap for the last month. Before we officially started going out we were seeing each other for dates so i've known him in total for about 7 weeks.

We've settled into a pattern where we see eachother about twice a week and ring/text the other days.

Does that sound about right for a new relationship??

[Apocalypto]

@ pylonic

Don't people usually move in tpgether for financial reasons though?

Yeah, I reckon so. Saves petrol money too, and having to repark the car at 8.30 the next morning.

ResPark has probably engineered more relationships than match.com.

[stubbornstains]

May I join in?

I have been with someone for 9 weeks (well, first date mid-August - I'm counting from the first shag!!).

I can't believe how patient, understanding and all-round nice he is (as well as good in conversation- and bed!). After a long stream of blokes who didn't seem that into me or put me down, this is a blessed relief.

It's difficult though, as the scars and insecurities are still there, waiting to pop out. He makes it easy by always texting back, being obviously into me and always happy to see me, but I can feel the wobble starting if he doesn't get in touch all day (often down to his phone running out of charge while he's at work or something).

I'm finding it difficult to juggle having a BF and a toddler though- no more long lazy lie ins and impromptu trips to the pub!And we usually have v. early nights as I'm so tired....I think he has more patience with this than I have. He spends most of the weekend here now, so spends a lot of time with DS and is very good with him.

We still haven't had the GF/ BF talk though...as we will have to soon, as I'm planning to announce his existence to my mum, and have just invited him to spend Christmas with us...

[Seth]

Hello what a nice thread, and even nicer seeing as I have posted in the past about the really awful situation I was in ( ex leaving )

Maybe my relationship is too 'old' to be considered new but in terms of his much we see each other it's not loved on and we're both finding it really hard,

We met in April .He lives ( and works) over 2 hours away. We were both instantly smitten and that keeps getting stronger and stronger. He is amazing , perfect ( for me at least) and neither of us can believe our luck at meeting.

Problem is that I have 2 young DCs and I am about to commence 'battle' with my ex re buying him out of the house and divorce. He can be difficult at the best of times and I can't help but feel that even though legally me simply being in a relationship won't change the outcome he could definitely make life trickier for me by just being an arse. This means thing's at this stage can't move forward..we see each other every other weekend ( sat morning til Sunday afternoon) and sometimes have one night out if I can get a sitter on the week in between-Even that means him staying in a hotel near my house just for us to do that!

I feel ready for him to meet the kids and he will be great with them but I can't as my DD is 5 so ex will find out ( I should really be the one to tell him anyway)

We were supposed to be seeing each other tmrow night and now something had come up with his work which means we can't and I feel gutted ( have not seen
him for 2 weeks as my ex has been messing around with contact)

Anyway we just can't move forward and it's making both of us sad. I think we'll be fine in the end.. I just want to get the house agreed..

Maybe i am being too cautious and should just tell the ex come what may? Hmm

Anyway on a cheerier note yes being in a new relationship is just brilliant isn't it? Long may the wonder of it last!

[Apocalypto]

@ bianca

It sounds to me like he has a lot of irons in the fire and you're some way down the list, about #6 or #7.

He'll get back to you when he's had a few shags elsewhere.

Up to you if you're still around to be got back to, obv.

[SorryMyLollipop]

Allgonebellyup - I think you are well rid - the massive flowers to work rang alarm bells for me. Then you went on to talk about mini arguments/ strops etc so early on. Then the jealousy, sexist jokes, sarcasm and snoring!!! Well rid!!

[bianca77]

Hi, also new back on the dating scene after a 7year marriage. Have 2 young kids so have to tread lightly. Met a guy through a meetup group who had been through similar experience. Been seeing him for about 7 weeks (also) and started off really great, he was always filled with compliments, txting a few times/day. Even went away for a night and day and met his kids. In the past 2 weeks it's slowed down, Now I'm always the one making the effort. He travels for work so is really busy, i get that but has def. withdrawn. He was on an internet dating site and just makes me wonder! Any advice here? I'm behind the times with this whole dating scene. Also doesnt help that i have trust issues, since my husbands infidelity. I suggested that perhaps we go our seperate ways as now i havents seen him for 2wks and he expressed that he really cares for me and we don't need to rush. But reading all the above messages, surely he would want to see me at least 1/2wice a week?

[allgonebellyup]

Dont worry- glad things are brill! Make the most of it and enjoy!!!!!!

i think the paranoia was slowly starting to kill me, never knowing when he was going to text next or not..the waiting all the time..drove me crazy.

I finished with him a couple of days ago so i was really upset then (but feel surprisingly ok today). He just didnt say a word when i ended it, just walked out of the house and i havent heard a word since. i think he was maybe a little bit gutted but refused to show it.
Feels weird to be single again.

[Nogoodatthis]

Sorry AGBU, I totally selfishly neglected to even acknowledge your post other than to use it as an excuse to launch into blathering away about myself.

Sorry it didn't work out. Sounds like you're not that bothered though?

[Nogoodatthis]

It's been going really well. Too good to be true, I'm still convinced it's going to go tits up any second. Desperately trying to retain some kind of grip on reality and not delve into the ming of my paranoia.

He's been away for a bit (we were in contact every day while he was away) and got back late last night, so I sent him a text just to say 'welcome back' and he didn't text back. So I went to bed and had horrible dreams about finding out via twitter that he'd been seeing someone else.

I hate my brain.

[allgonebellyup]

Well, have ended it with my bloke! Turned out to be bit of a twat in the end and i couldnt find that much i liked about him.

How are things with the rest of you?

[frazzle26]

Go for it, if you're happy with it being a fling then why not??!! xx

[ginnny]

Good on you.
This was meant to be a rebound fling but its gone way out of control!!
I'm happy about it though.

[allgonebellyup]

i will!!
I think he has dreams of us being together next summer but we will see...prob is too unsuitable!
i do like my flings and things!!

[ginnny]

I guessed as much!
Well enjoy it while it lasts

[allgonebellyup]

ginny - no he doesnt have kids, which is why he totally doesnt get the protective thing i have over them.
Just like me before i had kids, i used to take the piss out of my sister for having no life and wanting to be with her dc all the time - until i had my own.
i cant expect him to understand when I didnt.
Anyway it probably wont last long, but it is fun !

[allgonebellyup]

i dont have to get rid - he is good fling material and good in lots of other ways and funny!
i never said i was looking for someone to marry!!

[ginnny]

Allgone - does he have dc of his own?
I ask because I think you only understand that protectiveness when you have your own dc.
I was talking to DP last night and we both said that we could never have a relationship with someone without dc as they just wouldn't understand that connection. It came about because ex used to say he loved my dc as much as his own, and I never got that. I love my dc 100% and however lovely other dc are, I will never feel the same about them as I do my boys.
Oh I'm waffling now!!!

[uptheduffnotuptheduff]

allg - get rid, this man isn't the one for you - a good man would support you, not say your child's a wimp then question your protectiveness of him. you're a good mother get rid of him & put the kids first.

major alarm bells for me over him questioning your protectiveness, but that is probably as i'm highly protective of my son.

[allgonebellyup]

The thing is, he is otherwise great with my kids, really chats to them and engages with them, and they like to see him. His comment kind of came out of the blue.
I may just have a bit of a fling with this bloke rather than anything serious. Its fine by me just to have a short lived thing.

[cindystill]

algonebellyup - The good thing is - you have warning bells going off in your head now - rather than later down the line.

Sorry to have such a negative take on this. But we learn from experience, unfortunately.

[cindystill]

Frazzle26 - it's one thing other kids being mean to our dc - BUT it is a different ball-game when it is a MAN!!!!!!!!

[cindystill]

You have a child. I just hope he is not a selfish man who does not take this on board and is already being irritated by your child. Sorry if I am getting so angry about this but it is from experience.

[cindystill]

Also - he sulks. Great!!!!!!!!

[cindystill]

It is irrelevant about how protective you are about your son and to use that as an excuse for his behaviour - I am sorry but he shouldn't talk like this in the first place. If he is starting to make comments like this so soon (okay, he could keep his mouth shut and start saying them a bit further in the future - still not good behaviour), doesn't really say alot for kind of bloke he is really.