WWYD, house A or B? Have to decide quickly.

[meadowquark]

Hi, really have to decide on this quickly. I have been looking for almost impossible, a 3 bed house for low-ish budget in my area. I really wanted to be near our current primary catholic school, but after a long period of looking, I settled on:

House A - 2 miles drive from the current school, supposedly better area, but a more suburban, further from train stations for commute (20-25 min walk), catchment of and walkable distance to a outstanding secular secondary but I think a bit too far from catholic secondaries should my DC want to choose them, non-traditional 1970s build, 85 sq.m. of smart compact layout, small but pleasant garden, a garage, downstairs cloakroom. My main hesitation is that we (or our aupair) will have to use the car for many years to come, our DC1 is in Y2 and DC2 is to start Reception next year (we could of course change schools although I would prefer not to). Offer accepted, I made mortgage application 6 days ago and bank valuation 3 days ago.

House B - I was not looking anymore, but received an email from an agency, just came up 2 days ago and I went to view. 0.1m from our primary school (one of those roads, where you pass and think, oh it would be so nice to live here), 10 min walk to the train station for commute. On the edge of diverse London area. The house is advertised as 2/3 bed, in fact it is very small terrace, around 67 sq.m., and the 3rd bedroom is around 1.85cm x 1.80cm. The only bathroom is very small and downstairs. The living room is pass-through. We have an aupair, so I am hopeful that shorty bunk beds for DC in the box room could possibly work? Loft conversion is possible but I'd have no money. The garden is 90ft, not overlooked and had a wow factor for me. Even the front garden is long; long enough for a driveway. I would not need a car if I chose to. No good secular schools around, but there are 3 catholic secondaries where we would stand a chance. In short I loved it, mainly for location, character and not-overlooked factor.

My head says continue with house A. My heart is messed up and dreams about house B, even though it is clearly a bit too "compact" for 5 people. If we did not have aupair, I would have chosen House B. If the house B came up earlier. Now since the process has started.. I feel bad if I have to pull out, but equally that my kids would have to sleep in a "cupboard". Both house are without chain, one is empty, another is rented.

WWYD?

[meadowquark]

Oh crap, I did mean that I never put an offer on House B in my update. Thanks Chipping.

No hope that H will stay this time. It is his own decision and apparently his priorities lie somewhere else. I hope it will work out for the better good.

Will try to keep pushing the dates of selling if that's possible at all.

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

It's possible - it's your house. The consequence may be losing the sale, but it's not the end of the world for you right now is it.

Keep looking, house C is out there and it will be just what you have been looking for. Let house A know and move on.

I'm sorry that H has decided his priorities lie elsewhere but I think it's always better, no matter how crap, to know where you stand so you can make plans instead of walking on egg shells. His loss love x

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Best of luck deciding. I would be inclined to hang tight for the moment too unless there is a burning reason to leave your current home. Sometimes one thing at a time is best and you should certainly not move out of a feeling of obligation to the owners of House A or your buyers.

[meadowquark]

Maki79, very interesting - thanks for your research!

First house from your links: viewed, did not like it's miniscule kitchen and everything else quite miniscule and a new built with dampy feel.

Second house from your links: viewed, excellent house, offered 15k under the asking price, did not get. Now under offer according to the agency (but they have not removed from Rightmove somehow).

Third house from your links: excellent house and location, but I feel too pricey for me - my very top is 310k (not very comfortable stretching to the max).

Just hanging these days, have not booked full survey for House A, while my house was surveyed and I am hoping that my buyer will come up with issues and will change his mind..

[mipmop]

It's continuing with your sale and possibly renting in the interim not at all attractive?

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

How are you doing?

If you really hope your buyer changes his mind, why not just take it off the market?

You need to let house A know you aren't interested. There's no way you should buy it.

If you really like house C put in a very very low offer, you have nothing to lose!

Look after yourself OK

[meadowquark]

I just found out yesterday that House A is a probate sale. The agency did not know. The probate documents are not ready yet). I am not sure how I feel about this as it seems not possible to find out any further details about the house. I am giving myself until the end of this week to decide.

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

You should be able to find out, the agency should know why it's a probate sale!

House C is out there

[enriquetheringbearinglizard]

I think you're feeling too pressured to find somewhere else because of upsets in your private life and not taking to where you are now. I'd caution similar to the old marry in haste, repent at leisure. There's no point taking a big hit on selling your own house only to find you've moved somewhere that you're still not happy with, especially with the changes of separation coming up

Odd that the Estate Agency say they didn't know that House A is a probate sale, they must've taken instructions from someone and will need to know in whose name any sale could proceed. As you say, it must be early days.

Please don't underestimate how much space you'll need to accommodate two growing DCs, they have a habit of shooting up and acquiring more stuff than you ever knew was possible. Plus they need some quiet space once they get on to high school homework territory not to mention friends coming round.

I third House C wherever it is.

[meadowquark]

Another update, though it is not much to say. Have thought of pulling of House A but didn't. The process has slowed down due to probate, so this helps me to cool down a bit. My buyer is picking on the survey and they have so many requests that eventually they could pull out ("are the firewalls up to building regulations?" - come on, we are talking Victorian house!).

I have left it to fate to be honest. I think both options are good enough in their own ways...

No house C in sight!

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Well, I hope house A takes a very long time to get sorted out, I think you need the enforced space to re-evaluate.

You bought the house you are in and have never liked living there. You don't sound in a good place in general :( and I'd hate you to rush into house A then regret it. It costs a lot of money to move house (well, buy and sell - actually moving doesn't always!) and I'd hate you to do that, spend the money and still not be happy.

I hope house C makes itself known soon!

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Are the firewalls up to building regs ?- I thought a firewall was IT security but either way that smacks of first time buyers !

Let's try another approach - we don't know much about your current house other than it's Victorian [I presume a terrace], close to the kids v good primary school, and has sufficient space to accommodate you, your husband, an au pair and two [early years] children?

What's good about it ? What's bad about it? Given that you will have stamp duty [9-10k based on the links you posted] and solicitors fees/searches etc to pay, plus movers and other costs, I'd estimate you'd have circa 15k to spend on improving the house.

Is it just the nightmare neighbours? I don't underestimate that effect.

[meadowquark]

Update: it seems that my panic attack is now over and I am defo buying house A. I have had time to reconsider all positives and negatives that made me want to move, and I think the move will be worth it and it ticks all the boxes and moreover I am increasingly excited when looking at the pictures of house A and imagining myself there. Meanwhile 'D'H decided to stay rather than move out (changed his mind once again). I am not sure if that's what I want but it allows me to breathe while I sort out the house move and then I will be in the stronger position to make the decision. One step at a time. Thanks for helping me out.
Happy face

[TheLeftovermonster]

Great!
Personally I like house A.
Good luck!

[ChippingInLovesChristmasLights]

Oh I missed your update last week!

Neither are decisions I'd have made myself, but you sound happy and that's all that counts!!

Let us know if you get it and it all goes ahead!!

Happy Christmas!!

[Somethingtodo]

Who is calling the shots in your major life choices?

Seems to be irrationally left to others (buyer, dh, seller etc) or fate (survey, probate etc).....I think possibly why you are "unsettled" in your current house is maybe the people who live in it (dh?). But you also seem to want to make decisions and take actions to button down/control parts of your dcs future wrt secondary school....which at their young age is not useful or realistic.

What do you aspire to? What makes you happy? What makes your life hard/unhappy? Do more of the first and less of the second.

HOW (not where) do you want to be living in 2, 5, 10 years?

Is moving just a distraction to keep on running rather than stopping, turning around and facing the music? Moving now will keep you distracted for a year or so.

Your children are so young - just concentrate on their primary school and what is the best set up for you and them logistically if you become a single parent.....secondary school not really worth thinking about at this young age. If you separate, in 5-8 years time you might well be in another relationship which might take you somewhere else.

Also think it is crazy to move house and waste money on fees which could be used to make your lives easier.

Listen to you MUM....she knows you best. What does she think about dh?

That's the elephant in the room.

I hope you think hard of what you want for all of your emotional needs longterm - and have a lovely Christmas...