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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Don't like teachers!

31 replies

makemineaginandtonic · 30/11/2009 09:20

I am worried about my DD age 4.5yrs who started reception in September. Every day when I drop her off I can't help thinking I don't blame her for not wanting to go. The teachers (job share) never seem interested and sometimes don't even say hello, she just has to wander in on her own.

Her behaviour at home has deteriorated and she has started misbehaving at school too. At home its violent tantrums and at school ignoring the teachers or being disruptive during quiet time. She doesn't seem herself and we have observed at children's parties and in the playground that she is a bit of a loner and doesn't want to join in.

She used to be really bubbly and friendly and school seems to have changed her for the worse. Is this a normal transitional change, or is she really unhappy, and should be thinking about another school or something?!

So worried!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FlamingoBingo · 30/11/2009 09:22

This was one of the things I was scared of happening to my children. A friend of mine had the same experience - every hour she spent with her was unpleasant thanks to school. In the end she followed our example and took her out to home educate her. She couldn't be happier now! Their whole family life has improved.

gigglewitch · 30/11/2009 09:35

definitely look for another school.
What you are describing isn't good at all. It doesn't sound like there's enough structure there, and a job-share teaching arrangement is very tricky for a reception class, imho.

Definitely look elsewhere in the area before any more harm is done

(ps we're not all rubbish like that)

cory · 30/11/2009 10:07

Agree, it shouldn't be like this. But ime this is far from the norm: there may be better schools out there.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 30/11/2009 10:13

Your poor daughter. School should be fun at that age and they should look forward to going in and playing with their friends. Before you change school, would it be possible to have a word with the teachers about how much she enjoys being greeted? Good luck.

Original poster

makemineaginandtonic · 30/11/2009 11:06

THanks, it is good to get other's opinons, sometimes I think I am just being over sensitive. I have spoken to the teachers (both) about drop off in the morning and how I think DD needs a bit of attention but nothing special has been arranged. The school's latest Ofsted report was Outstanding including the Early Years section so I thought it would be great - goes to show how meaningless they really are.

I am going to have a sit down meeting with the teacher(s) and have one last crack at getting my message across. But I can't help thinking that all my complaining will do more harm than good.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 30/11/2009 11:14

I don't think that if you present your grievance in a positive manner you'll be though of as complaining. We all want a positive experience for our children.

smee · 30/11/2009 14:30

The drop off thing does sound woeful. Have you met other parents who you can chat to about it all? Are they feeling the same? Word of caution though, as lots of children's behaviour plummets when they start school. Honestly my son turned into a demon during his first term. I'd go and meet them and see what they say - maybe see if they'll let you spend a bit of time in the classroom too so you can see what you think. You might be reassured, you never know.

DadAtLarge · 30/11/2009 20:02

The school's latest Ofsted report was Outstanding including the Early Years section so I thought it would be great - goes to show how meaningless they really are.

I agree. OFSTED reports mask a lot of sub-standard teaching and useless teachers.

Good luck with the sit down meeting. Hopefully things will change. If they don't ...put it in writing to the head.

What do the parents of other children in the class think? Anyone else having these problems?

seeker · 01/12/2009 06:28

I would expect the teacher to greet every child as they come in, unless they were caught up in something or otherwise distracted. It"s the norm at our far from outstanding school all the way up to year 6.

Original poster

makemineaginandtonic · 01/12/2009 16:50

Well unexpectedly there is a place available at another nearby school, so I have decided to move DD. Deciding factor was on collection on Monday when the teacher described her behaviour during the day as "not perfect" within her earshot, despite having all smiley faces for the day apart from PE. I find their negative focus on small non academic misdemeanours quite worrying.

At the new school she will also have the option to do half days for another term due to being a summer baby. I think this suit her much better.

Thanks for all your comments.

OP posts:

smee · 01/12/2009 19:56

hope it works out better then. You must be relieved you've made a decision.

gigglewitch · 02/12/2009 23:02

good luck - and good decision imho. Leopards and spots and all that. Trust your mum-instinct, it's rarely wrong. Hope you have a happier and more settled dd very soon

Insider333 · 03/12/2009 22:25

Sadly, the majority of state run schools are holding pens. Remember the saying: "Those that can, do, those that can't, teach." and those that can't teach, become headteachers. Teaching is a fall back option for people who can't make a living doing what they would like to do.

Insider333 · 03/12/2009 22:28

Don't worry about your complaining doing more harm than good. If you're worried that it might result in your child being picked on by the teachers, don't be. This is a myth, most teachers are either too busy ticking boxes or just not bothered.

JaneiteMightBite · 03/12/2009 22:30

Insider333 - oh you sound wonderful, you do. I hope you pass on your joy and optimism to your children.

Insider333 · 03/12/2009 22:31

The best way to get things happening is to contact the media, ie local newspapers. Speaking to teachers, headteachers, governors is just a waste of time. Parents who do this are genuinely feared by schools.

DontEatMountains · 03/12/2009 22:38

Insider333 did you ever consider that some people choose to teach because that is what they want to do?

Parents that go to the press without going throught the governers first run the risk of making a name for themselves. Jump the hoops go through the system then if it gets you no where take it further but sometimes you have to accept that different schools suit diferent children and moving is the best option and let the situation lie.

When i was at school parents complained about a teacher to the governers and she got sent to retrain. Things do happen if you are clear about what it is you want doing.

cathcat · 03/12/2009 22:51

Insider333, your posts are so rude and I have never said that before on MN. I know many many skilled teachers and headteachers who care passionately about their jobs and the children they teach. Are you a teacher? What qualifies you to make these comments? Who do you suggest we get to replace all these useless teachers who can't be bothered? [anger]

cathcat · 03/12/2009 22:52

even

Tizzyjacko · 03/12/2009 22:59

"Sadly, the majority of state run schools are holding pens."

WTF???????

makesyouthink · 03/12/2009 23:54

By Insider333 Thu 03-Dec-09 23:45:57
I'm a teacher. You son IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT than the school's attendance statistics. Just goes to show where your son's school's priorities lie. Look after your son.

another thread tonight...

Insider333 · 05/12/2009 00:31

Cathcat:

Don't kid yourself... most teachers haven't got a clue.

mrz · 05/12/2009 10:02

By Insider333 Sat 05-Dec-09 00:31:19
Cathcat:

Don't kid yourself... most teachers haven't got a clue.

I'm not sure abour most but in your case I have to agree it certainly applies.

Feenie · 05/12/2009 10:16

whifflegarden · 05/12/2009 11:23

Makemine, so glad you sorted that out. The infant years are such an important aspect of building children's character, confidence and behaviour.

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