Advice needed re teacher's written comments - 5yr old ds in year 1

[MollieO]

By way of background I found out almost by chance last week that ds's teacher is concerned that he has processing issues. Comment made during a conversation about boring reading material being sent home. She asked me to get his eyes and ears tested. Eyes fine, GP appointment for ears tomorrow.

Today I sent a note in his reading diary to ask her for some comments to aid my discussion with the GP. This is what she wrote (even though she was apparently off sick today - the letter is from her):

"X appears to have an inability to repeat what the teacher has said to him, either in group discussion or 1 to 1. He appears genuinely to be unaware of what has been said and discussed. However, he will make an effort to listen in to adult conversations which do not concern him." I find the last sentence to be a bit sniping.

"He has a tendency to interrupt when a teacher or other adult is talking."

"He displays a lack of any motivation to work in class and this is also apparent at home." Well I have told her and the TA that ds is bored with the reading material and it is hard to get him to read non-stories.

Am I being PFB? I had assumed she would write specific concerns, not such meaningless generalisations that can probably be applied to most 5 yr olds at different points.

What do I do next? We are seeing the GP tomorrow night and I'd prefer to have specific examples of her behaviour concerns. I read these comments (there was nothing else in the letter) and can only think that ds's teacher doesn't actually like him.

[MollieO]

rewards? I mean results

[paddingtonbear1]

Mollie as you know I've posted on your other thread. Good luck with the GP today - I'd be interested to hear how you get on, especially as my dd sounds very similar to your ds!

[GhostlyPixieOnaPumpkin]

I think, though, that the best way to prove to her that your DS is just bored would be to go through everything that she suggests, because then she won't be able to say that she thinks he has a problem, as it's been proven that he doesn't.
However, I can also see it from the teacher's POV - she has noticed a problem, and is sharing it with you. If it turned out that there was something, and she hadn't told you, you'd be cross, yes?

[MollieO]

Ghostly, you are right. I do feel though that she has written him off early in the year. He only gets 5 spellings to learn each week whereas lots of the others in his class get 10. I don't understand why that is when he gets them correct. Rightly or (hopefully) wrongly she is dismissing his ability because of the class interaction issue.

[verygreenlawn]

Ghostly, I absolutely agree - my DH and I agreed at the outset we weren't going to be precious about it, and went through the entire process the teacher recommended, despite having suspicions it wasn't warranted. Mainly because I do feel it's important to take a teacher's professional opinion and experience seriously even when what they're telling you isn't very welcome.

When the school's own therapist said ds1 was an absolutely normal little boy, we felt then we'd exhausted all the possibilities and could genuinely say we'd looked into the issues.

[thedolly]

MollieO it sounds as if your DS has 'disengaged' with this particular teacher for whatever reason. If things are to improve, their 'relationship' needs to get on track again. Is there anything you can do to facilitate this?

I agree that you should trust your instincts. You could ask for his weeks work to be sent home on a Friday (with a promise to return it on Monday) and then you will be able to analyse whether or not there has been any stimulating work undertaken. It would also help you to enthuse DS if you had a copy of what the teacher was planning to cover a week in advance. These are practical suggestions that may help you to maintain some control over what is understandably a 'daunting' situation i.e. sending DS to school to spend most of his time in an environment where he is most likely misunderstood.

Does you DS come into contact with other members of staff? What are their opinions of him? Dinner ladies, receptionists, swimming teacher/PE/dance teacher? You could contact the Head and ask him/her to find out if they think your DS has noticeable social issues.

I could be talking rubbish but these are some of the things that would cross my mind if I were in your situation.

Good luck .

[MollieO]

thedolly - good idea about seeing the work. I'll ask for that.

I have had a couple of chats with the person in charge of after school care. Last week when ds's teacher called me and yesterday when I got the letter. ASC person was frankly gobsmacked that there was any issue with ds at school. She thinks that it is more to do with the teacher or possibly ds worrying about getting answers wrong - that was when we thought the only issue was listening in class and answering questions.

Everyone else ds is in contact with has always said what a lovely boy he is. He knows lots of the other years' teachers/dinner ladies etc and everyone seems to know him. He is usually a very happy, chatty and confident little boy and will talk to anyone. He has friends in his own year and older and younger years too.

[flashharriet]

Just wanted to say that DD1 had ear problems which meant that she struggled with hearing instructions from the teacher in a class environment but was fine in a one to one quiet room/at home. I think she switched off from school a lot of the time - the ear specialist described it as being at a noisy party and only hearing 3 in 5 words that someone's saying to you, so you're having to concentrate really hard and fill in the gaps yourself.

That's just what immediately came to mind when reading her comment about the adult conversations - it could just be that he can hear them perfectly, especially if he's at the front. I never knew that DD1 had a hearing problem because she was fine at home .

[GhostlyPixieOnaPumpkin]

But for some reason the teacher still sense a problem with him?
I have to say that I think there is usually no smoke without fire - it might be that your DS has a problem academically, which wasn't visible in the more play based reception years, to the After School Club where he plays and can do what he likes, or to you at home, where he has work pitched at his level, and one on one attention to help him with it from people he knows. He might just be shy around the new teacher. Even so, I do think it is worth investigating. Have you had the hearing test yet?

[MollieO]

Seeing GP tonight, originally to sort out getting a hearing test but now to discuss broader issues. I tried to get the GP to do a referral to an audiologist without seeing ds but he said he hadn't seen him for a while and wanted to.

Ds has always been enthusiastic about going to school but this has changed this term. We have had lots of days with him saying he doesn't want to go to school anymore but I can't find out why. I think he was worried about grandma being in hospital (routine op, home now but long recovery so out of action completely). He has settled down in the last week or so (a few days after grandma was discharged) but unfortunately I think his card was marked by his behaviour in the first two weeks of term.

I have a lot of questions that I want to ask his teacher but I think at this stage if I did I will just come across as a pushy parent with PFB tendencies, which won't do either of us any good.

At the end of last week I got a comment in ds's reading diary about him understanding a story well. Have to say I thought WTF? He has always understood what he has read and if he hasn't then he asks. The problem that the TA had in reception with ds was him asking too many questions about the story he was reading and doing his best to distract her by developing related ideas.

[GhostlyPixieOnaPumpkin]

Let us know how the hearing test goes - it sounds to me like the teacher suggested a hearing/sight test just to introduce the thought that there might be a problem?
I think, actually, that although things were a little oddly phrased in the report that she sent home, she's obviously being very vigilant, and doing her job well, as she's noticed this, and reported it to you.
Have you asked DS whether he has a problem at school? Sometimes, you can puzzle on for months, and then they tell you that there's a really simple problem that they're having and you wonder why you didn't see it in the first place (for example: DD2 used to hate playing sport, even though she loved watching it, and took a really keen interest in it. On a routine visit to the GP, we discovered she had asthma, and now she loves playing sport - it turns out that she couldn't breathe properly when playing, so she didn't want to do it).

[MollieO]

We've tried to find out what concerns him but he isn't telling. He has never told me about his day at school even in reception. He doesn't even tell me if he has got house points or been to see the head teacher for good work.

[MollieO]

Saw the GP. He is doing a letter to refer to the audiologist and will attach the letter from the teacher. He will also arrange for ds to see a community paediatrician and psychologist once the results of the hearing test are known. I said that I wondered if ds's teacher just didn't like him and he agreed. He also agreed that it was worthwhile doing all this if only to say that it is a problem with the teacher rather than ds.

It will be a couple of weeks before we get an appointment so realistically not before half term.

[Vintagepommery]

Can't really add much more to what others have said - only to say that I've been there with the boring reading material.

I would put things like 'DD struggled with this book - she prefers stories to non-fiction.' only to get a snipey 'DD can't like all the books'

Must admit I gave up trying to force her to read these dull books - we'd kind of 'share' reading them together (and I'd put that she'd reead them in the homeschool book ).

[MollieO]

We have had two days of another teacher because ds's one is off sick. Yesterday he said he'd prefer it if his normal teacher went away on holiday so he could have the relief one. Today he said how easy the work was in class because the relief teacher doesn't get angry . I doubt that the work has changed at all but I wonder if the class atmosphere has. He seems eager to do his homework as well, which is a first for this term.

[MollieO]

Had a chat with the relief teacher today (ds's teacher is expected back tomorrow). She hasn't had any issues with ds at all. She said he isn't the best in the class but he isn't the worst either. I asked her to pay particular attention to ds's behaviour today (as far as far as she is able with a class of 16) and let me know her thoughts.

Also spoke to the TA but I get the impression that she either doesn't have her own view or is very loyal to the teacher and wouldn't say anything to contradict her assessment of ds. At least I know where I stand where she is concerned.

Once ds's various assessments are complete I think I will ask for a meeting with his current teacher, his reception teacher, the SENCO and the head to work out where we go from here.

[ilovemydogandmrobama]

There seems to be problems with the teacher, for whatever reason. would it be better to quietly meet with the head teacher and just say that you would prefer for DS to be moved to another class?

[MollieO]

I think that may be hard to do as there are only two classes in the year. I hope we can work it out as this teacher does have a very good reputation - fierce but fair - and has ended up being many boys favourite teacher at the school.

I hope she will also get less shouty as the year progresses. I think the shoutiness upsets ds even though I wouldn't have classed him as the sensitive type.