Advice needed re teacher's written comments - 5yr old ds in year 1

[MollieO]

By way of background I found out almost by chance last week that ds's teacher is concerned that he has processing issues. Comment made during a conversation about boring reading material being sent home. She asked me to get his eyes and ears tested. Eyes fine, GP appointment for ears tomorrow.

Today I sent a note in his reading diary to ask her for some comments to aid my discussion with the GP. This is what she wrote (even though she was apparently off sick today - the letter is from her):

"X appears to have an inability to repeat what the teacher has said to him, either in group discussion or 1 to 1. He appears genuinely to be unaware of what has been said and discussed. However, he will make an effort to listen in to adult conversations which do not concern him." I find the last sentence to be a bit sniping.

"He has a tendency to interrupt when a teacher or other adult is talking."

"He displays a lack of any motivation to work in class and this is also apparent at home." Well I have told her and the TA that ds is bored with the reading material and it is hard to get him to read non-stories.

Am I being PFB? I had assumed she would write specific concerns, not such meaningless generalisations that can probably be applied to most 5 yr olds at different points.

What do I do next? We are seeing the GP tomorrow night and I'd prefer to have specific examples of her behaviour concerns. I read these comments (there was nothing else in the letter) and can only think that ds's teacher doesn't actually like him.

[mimmum]

I would have issues with what this teacher has written imo unprofessional and unconstructive. Please don't feel forced to go down the path of assessments etc. unless it is really necessary. Speaking from experience as someone whose dd is a little different, I think when these professionals set out to find something they will. Examine any child under a microscope and you will find an issue. I think it can often be very destructive and unless it will lead to something useful think twice. In my experience to get any extra help in school or any kind of therapy a child has to be really quite bad and underperforming substantially otherwise this would not be forthcoming. Even then the help is sometimes of a dubious nature. What then would it achieve except possibly a label that may follow him round for a v long time. Sorry everyone can flame me down now but I had to say it.

[Heated]

Majority of teacher's comments are relevant if ds has trouble with hearing. Not sure about the eavesdropping comment though "...which do not concern him", that seems unnecessary & on reflection she probably wishes she hadn't put that or at least qualified it. Don't think it's to do with not following social norms, given he is only 5.

The comments are for the GP, stating where her concerns are; this won't be a balanced report about his other qualities.

I would guess she would have spoken to you about this at the October? parents' eve but you have accelerated things by speaking to her before.

[Heated]

Would also like to add he doesn't sound "unusual" in any way; he simply has not understood what has been asked of him when she asked him to repeat back (sometimes a simple instruction like this makes no logical sense to a bright 5 yr old) or perhaps he has been too shy?

There could, of course, be another simple explanation like a mild ear infection which has made him temporarily hard of hearing, as I was the first two weeks of term.

[Quattrocento]

Oh DD's teacher in Kindergarten told us to get her hearing tested. I just laughed and told her that DD was not listening because she didn't want to listen at that point. Not because she couldn't hear.

Since then, DD developed very well at school - she is only 11 now so too soon to tell. But still, bright and motivated and got a scholarship etc.

Just don't get knotted up about it. Easy to say of course but you are doing all that you can in getting all these tests and stuff done. Chin up.

[bigstripeytiger]

I think that you are overreacting a bit to this. The comments do seem relevent to the problem at hand, and if she is concerned that there are wider issues then the eyesight/hearing tests will be a first step, with other things to be considered if they are normal, IYSWIM, so she probably isnt confining herself just to hearing and eyesight in what she has said.

Was the letter signed? You said that she was off sick. To me that says that either she thought that the matter was so important that she interupted her sick leave to write something, or someone phoned her and she verbally gave a reply, maybe thinking that the wording would be tidied up before it was given to you.

[PerryPlatypus]

It's the "..he will make an effort to listen in..." that would annoy me. The insinuation is that he could follow the other stuff if he made an effort.

My ds has very sensitive hearing. For a long time he just blocked everything out and so it looked as though he had hearing problems. Over the past few years he's learned how to filter sounds a little better but can still hear other people's private conversations. His seat is about halfway down the classroom but he will still sometimes mention things that I'm sure his teacher wouldn't knowingly have discussed in front of him.

Has the teacher put any strategies into place to help with his "lack of any motivation to work"?

[MollieO]

We've only been back 3 weeks and parents' evening isn't until mid-November, which I think is a long time to wait if ds does have problems.

I've got no problem with ds having a EP assessment if it will help. Either ds has problems or the teacher does. I can say as a parent that I think it is the teacher but having a bit of paper that confirms this would be nice .

If ds does have problems then the EP assessment will enable an objective action plan to be put in place that will hopefully help ds fulfill his potential.

[cornsilk]

There are lots of reasons why a child would behave like that. She needs to be much more specific about why that behaviour concerns her.

[WriggleJiggle]

She was probably phoned up and asked for her comments. She responds to the school with an email. The school forwarded on her comments to you without changing them into 'parent language'. She is (presumably) ill at home, and not thinking too clearly. She presumes if she is totally honest with her notes, then someone at school will translate it into the correct format for sending home. That wasn't done.

[MollieO]

I didn't need the wording today so not sure why she did it if she was off sick. It was unsigned but in her name.

No strategies put in place at all. I wasn't even aware that ds did "lack any motivation to work" at school until I received the note. I know he has been a bit reluctant to do his writing homework but he does his reading and learns his spellings and as of last week did his writing homework too.

Ds sits at the front, closest to the teacher.

[cornsilk]

What's the classroom like generally? Is she chalk and talk?

[MollieO]

cornsilk that is my concern exactly. I am sure that the GP will say that her comments could refer to any 5 yr old so why is the teacher concerned about ds in particular? I don't know the answer. I also don't know what she said to the head or what the head suggested.

I will do whatever is required of me as a parent to support ds at school. The only info I had prior to this note was that ds was behaving well in class but not listening - answering a previously asked question rather than the one she asked him. That was in a maths lesson. Last year I was told he had an aptitude for maths.

[cornsilk]

Do you think he could just be a bit tired? It's still early days for this school year. He may be still settling in.

[MollieO]

No idea what the classroom is like . Ds says she is very shouty although I think that has settled down now. There are 16 pupils with the teacher and a TA who is shared with the other class.

[mellifluouscauliflower]

If you were feeling charitable you could say maybe she wrote such a bit of a snippy note because she wasn't feeling well.

If you weren't, you might say maybe she has irritated your son in the same way she has irritated you and so he has simply tuned her out. (You notice he is interested in the words of other adults..but not her, it seems).

He clearly doesn't have "a lack of motivation to do any work in class and..at home". You said he did a spelling test. You said he read stories but not fact books. So this is clearly an overstatement.

Have you asked your son what he thinks about his teacher?

[MollieO]

Tired at the end of the day but not yawning in class and I don't have to wake him in the morning.

[MollieO]

He reads his books, they are stories but not much of a story - no hook or interesting finish so no interest to find out what happened next (nothing does). He does very well in his spelling test but only gets 5 words a week (some others get 10). I assume that is because he has been reluctant to write them out for homework. He does write them for the test and gets them correct.

He didn't like her when term started as she was very shouty (she lost her voice). Now he says he likes her. He never talks about his school day.

[cornsilk]

So last year no concerns were raised and you were told that ds had an aptitude for maths? This year teacher has raised concerns about possible processing difficulties but only in response to a comment from you about ds finding his reading material boring?

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Hi Mollie. I remember your other thread and was wondering how you and DS were doing.

The wording of the teacher's note does sound clumsy (at best) but I think, for the time being at least, you have to assume that she was doing her best to describe your DS' problems as she sees them and so give the doctor some idea of what's been going on. I think you have to hold your horses with the teacher for now - once you have seen the GP (and anyone else s/he might refer you on to) you'll have a better idea of how accurate (or not) the teacher's comments are and what strategies the school could adopt to help your son.

[MollieO]

cornsilk got it in one .

I hope that she would have mentioned it at parents' evening. Ds can be a bit hard to read - outwardly very confident and sociable but does internalise a lot. He will mention things that concern him several months after the event, eg we got stuck in a lift on holiday. Ds fine and didn't mention it until 6 months later when he had a complete meltdown on a garden centre trip with his grandma because the sliding doors reminded him of the lift.

[ICANDOTHAT]

Hopefully you are visiting an Audiologist for the hearing test .... in a sound-proof environment. If not, ask to be referred to one by your GP. The last comment by his teacher is a 'dig' if you ask me and relates to his behaviour rather than his ability to listen or process information. You need to meet with SENCO and teacher and ask them what strategies they are putting in place to help your son. If he is unable to access their curriculum, it's usually because he can't for whatever reason. Either way, this needs to be addressed and you need to push for it. Good luck !

[bourboncreme]

We had similar problems at the beginning of year 1,his year 1 teacher said (3 weeks in)that he was idle,the opening comments on his end of receptoin report were "G has the work ethic in a big way"...same child??Turns out that this teachers rule is that every worksheet has to be beautifully coloured before he could move to something else (note the use of worksheets) ,he was stuck on adding 1 as he hates colouring when in fact he was on the 7 times table (he likes maths).He tuned her out because he was bored.

[MollieO]

bourbon what did you do to resolve it?

ICAN interesting. His teacher stressed when we spoke that his behaviour in class is excellent. I will push for whatever ds needs to help him. I will see what the GP says tonight and depending on that I'm considering asking for a meeting with ds's teacher, SENCO and the head.

Ds's teacher was off sick yesterday. Ds said this morning that he would prefer it if his teacher had more time off as the stand in teacher was 'lovely'. That might be part of the problem but if it is I assume that we will both have to grin and bear it until year 2.

[verygreenlawn]

MollieO, I've read all the comments with interest - this is long but bear with me.

Ds1 has just started year 2, and last year had a pretty tough time with his teacher, who said he had "no social skills" and "just wouldn't listen". Unfortunately she was very short on specifics, and we never got further than her saying things like he used play equipment "inappropriately" (which she explained as being that on one occasion he walked across the top of the monkey bars rather than swinging from underneath them) and "refused to make eye contact" when he was told off (this was the entire sum of the lack of social skills she referred to).

We were so worried, I mean no social skills to me means inability to share, to take turns, pretty serious stuff. No sign of a problem in reception or at his nursery. We took him to see our GP who just laughed and said "hmm, I think you'll find some private schools have unrealistic expectations of what's normal for a 5 year old boy" (ds1 sat there quietly chatting away with the GP about blood pressure of all things, so he was utterly dismissive of any kind of medical problem!)

Year 1 teacher referred ds1 for sessions with the school's creative arts therapist, who after four sessions said he was bright, confident, articulate and in her words "a delightful little boy", who far from having no social skills was very mature for his age. Also spoke (in confidence) to the TA in his class, who is a completely different personality to the teacher and who said she honestly didn't know what the teacher's problem with ds1 was.

He's just started year 2 and I know it's only been a few weeks, but honestly his teacher couldn't have been nicer to him - he seems so much happier already. I think also the work is a little more challenging, and he is more excited by it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is just the opinion of one person - you can respect that opinion and investigate further, but don't get carried away yet! Secondly, I would ultimately trust your instincts on this one. This is what my GP told me, and he was dead right. We respected the teacher's opinion, we investigated further, and ultimately came to the conclusion that she was wrong.

I hope all goes well. I do know how hard it is!

[MollieO]

verygreenlawn you have articulated perfectly what I think will happen with us. I would be amazed if ds suddenly had a complete personality change starting year 1 and also that this personality change manifested itself only at school.

I am keen that the teacher doesn't just write him off - low expectations will lead to low rewards. Ds is a child who (usually) likes to please and does very well if he is encouraged. If he isn't then he is as stubborn as hell. Pretty much black and white where he is concerned and I was the same at school - very bright and interested when the teacher took an interest.