Why is it that children who are boisterous (maybe even future bullies) are often the ones who cry and won't let go of Mummy in the early days of school?

[DumbledoresGirl]

Broad generalisation there I know, and I am not accusing your child of being a bully if they cried when they started school, but I have often noticed that the children who don't want to separate from their mother and cry a lot, go on to be, shall we say, less mindful of other people's feelings.

Why is that? I mean, from a psychological POV. I should know as I studied psychology as part of my teaching degree, but I just can't think what the reason would be.

[Susianna]

Oh and ds does have what might be regarded as a crap diet!

And I'm a single mother, quite domineering? but also absent minded, I mean I get cross and show it, but he also gets cross with me which is a relief, says he hates me etc. (glad he isn't too nice to me, I'd be worried!)
Basically our lives are quite stressful at times and we deal with it openly.

But I definitely don't idolise his behaviour.

I think kids can be clingy for other reasons apart from anger/insecurity as well. But some are for those reasons.

[Marina]

Some interesting theories here, all of which I can see reflected in part in ds' and dd's classmates.
But I agree with blu - the boisterous ones in both year groups are actually also amongst the kindest and sunniest-natured (no axe to grind here, ds is not boisterous but still a pretty kind little guy).
The "my child can do no wrong" criterion is definitely the one that rings the biggest bell with me. In dd's year, definitely . Scary children, two scary mothers. Teachers are well on the case, luckily.

[Marina]

And our big cryer, bless him, has matured into a very sensitive and kind boy. But I do think the weeping was connected to sensory issues rather than emotional maturity per se.

[OrmIrian]

Must admit I do feel a bit that people look at those poor kids like my DS crying and clinging to mum and are just eyeing them up as future bullies. I just find that I want to cry in sympathy....

[southeastastra]

they're forced to go to school too young so they toughen up quicker (maybe)

[Marina]

Well I don't OrmIrian, I promise
Our two latent bullies are dry-eyed and stony-faced every morning.

[OrmIrian]

Glad to hear it Marina .

Thankfully DD and DS#2 have both sailed into reception without so much as a tear. But DS#1 was just awful

[InMyHumbleOpinion]

The three kids who cry in our receotion all have sweet calm mothers, who nevertheless force themselves to smile and brusque off. All are at least 4.5 (have asked their mothers - am very nosy person) but all are boys. Not boisterous - all are sweet and calm like their mothers - one has Down's syndrome, and his mother looks particularly distraught when he clings to her and cries It must be very hard to leave them when they cry, I've been lucky with ds1.

[unknownrebelbang]

Ormirian, they're little more than babies when they start school, and crying, happy, boisterous or not, they're all sooo cute when they start.

Having been judged - and having my rather boisterous but bigger than average infant judged - on the playground (not by staff particularly), I wouldn't dream of judging little children just starting out.