Reception class - how are yours settling in?

[Misty9]

I thought it might be nice to have a thread for those of us with reception starters to share how they're getting on. And mine isn't even my pfb! But he was older and fine...

Dd is struggling a bit and getting upset and saying she wants to stay home with me (I'm not working much currently). She's finding the lunch time daunting as it's in a big hall. Big brother is there too but quite separate from reception at first.

I know they'll get used to it but this is hard and they're so little.

[Harleyisme]

Elliejjtiny I really hope it gets better for your ds it's very hard for them

[123bananas]

Elliejtiny and Harleyisme sorry to hear both your children are struggling.

Do they have a safe space at school and home where they can go to self regulate at all? Pop up tents or quieter rooms are quite useful for this when they are overwhelmed.

I know with my ds that on somedays the level of sensory input from school is just exhausting for him, when he gets home he goes and takes himself to time out (his name for calm down time) in his bedroom (he has a curtain that pulls across the lower bunk to make a safe space. Once he has had that quiet, alone time he is generally calmer and less anxiou and exhausted.

Ds used to eat sand too, elliej, make sure you give him lactulose as it can make them very constipated if they eat a lot. School should be monitoring him too to make sure he doesn't.

[Harleyisme]

He has a safe place at home his room but he also likes to lie on sofa watch tv and calm down which I leave him to do every night after school. At the moment school aren't doing much as they say he's fine in school. Got a meeting coming soon so going to bring up all my concerns then and see what we can do.

[Misty9]

Sorry to hear about those whose dc are struggling I would recommend ensuring there's good communication between you and school - be that parent! What is often difficult is that children save their best for school and then we get the fallout at home, so school find it hard to believe there's an issue.

Dd continues to be a stroppy mare at home but seems to be enjoying school.

[SoyDora]

Much better week here now she’s over her cold! I think just being ill and miserable was causing her issues. No problems this week apart from saying on Friday ‘I wish I only had to go to school 4 days a week so I could have an extra day at home chilling’ 😂.
She had her first after school play date yesterday too so was happy.

[motortroll]

My girl just barges straight in past the helicopter mums then stands next to her teacher til she gets noticed with a huge grin on her face!!

BUT she isn't sleeping well and says she misses me at school when she's home again.

She hates breakfast club (once a week) because the woman who runs it is so over enthusiastic and it scares her plus they play games like musical statues which she doesn't win as she's 4 and some of the other kids are 11!!! No allowances made for age apparently!! I can't be bothered to get upset about it though as she'll get over it and her sister (9) is with her but it annoys me in my head lol

[Bananacustardyum]

Can I join! I’m so glad to find this thread. Mine has just finished her 2nd week. 1st week was two short days and then been full days ever since. She loves it, loves her teacher, eating the school dinner and moaned when I pick her up too early from after school club! BUT at home she’s horrible, shouting at me, not listening and hitting when not getting her own way. I’m really hoping it’s just tiredness as it’s really upsetting. She was never like this at nursery which she attended from 1yrs so I’m hoping it’ll stop soon.

[BangingOn]

DS has settled well, although he is tired. The bigger change for him was last September when he moved from nursery to the school’s pre-school. That was hard as the other children all knew each other from a different nursery but he was settled in after the first week.

The pre-school are very much a part of the school so the only difference with Reception is slightly more formal leaning. He loves before and after school club too and tells me off if I pick him up to early.

We are keeping things very low key at home with lots of time to relax to help with the tiredness.

What helps conversations at home is the app the school use to show as what they’ve been doing. If I ask him what he’s done I get “I don’t know” but if I show him a photo on the app of him practicing his writing then suddenly he’s really talkative.

[Misty9]

The more the merrier

banana seems there's a few of us dealing with stroppiness at home. Tiredness won't be helping but I think they're also realising they can be more independent as they won't be constantly monitored at school with bigger ratios. So maybe are exerting this new found freedom at home?! I've had an up and down morning with dd just not listening and then banging around if asked to do something she doesn't want to. I find threatening them with talking to their teacher helps

[purpleme12]

Mine is just not listening a lot and messing around. Frustrating!!

[Cornwall73]

Those of you with kids that are being really naughty at home - not listening, shouting, acting in a major stroppy way - how do you deal with it? DD is driving me insane!

[Mintylizzy9]

My 4 yo is suspected adhd and has sensory processing difficulties so is really struggling. Managed one full day after a few half days but massive meltdown the following day so he’s back on afternoons only and is coping much better.

He’s adopted so had lots of worries that leaving nursery to start school would mean he was leaving me as well so it’s been a hard few weeks.

The other kids seem happy to see him arrive but he’s not interested in them at the minute.

Battling to get support in place for him, it really shouldn’t be so hard.

Our school uses the dojo app so we get pics and videos about what they have been up to which really helps as he can’t remember anything at pick up time so just says painted a picture whenever I asked what he’s been up to!

6pm bedtimes here as he knackered and we’ve spent the morning in our PJ’s watching tv....trying to summon up the energy to get dress and tackle some housework! Defo having a chilled weekend.

[purpleme12]

Wow I wish ours had something telling us what they've been doing.

Cornwall I guess I've just been stricter. Had to take her off Skype to her grandma this morning cos she wasn't listening. I know I've been raising my voice a lot more than I used to! Which I don't like! God knows

[Cornwall73]

Thing is DD is always pitching for a sanction due to being naughty so she can kick up a tantrum. They are monumental meltdowns which as very difficult to deal with. We have at least two a day if not more. None at school of course. Problem is that there is just one adult looking after the two of them so if she kicks off and is therefore stopped form going to the park this affects her brother too. She loves doing stuff that will have a negative impact on him.

[Misty9]

Cornwall I'm just shouting more so far - and packing them off to grandparents!

It's tricky when sanctions impact both of them. If she's pushing the boundaries then it sounds like she needs to let the feelings out (and wants an excuse) so I find it helpful to poke the bear as it were, so the meltdown happens at a more convenient time for me. I like the website //www.ahaparenting.com for tips like this.

When I don't shout I try to defuse her strips with laughter/physical play, but I cannot stand being ignored!

[MoHunter]

Can I join in? I’m finding this week is the worst so far. And we’re only at Tuesday!!!? DS1 only turned 4 end of August and I now wish I had deferred his school entry till next year as his behaviour at home is driving me up the wall! Constantly not listening, whinging, meltdowns over things that never bothered him before, and worst of all he keeps pushing / hitting / snatching from DS2 far worse than usual. He also keeps having accidents when he was doing fairly well before, e.g. Sunday he weed on the sofa, yesterday he came home with dry to the touch clothes that smelled absolutely rank of stale urine! Not sure how much more we (I) can take of this! He did actually quite well the first (half days) and second (full days) week but the last few days have been hell!

[DailyMailFail101]

@MoHunter I’m finding this week the hardest too... I think my son needs a good weeks rest ‘bring on the October holidays’. Did you mention the urine smell to the teacher? I’m surprised they let him sit in wet pants all day. It’s so hard leaving them to fend for themselves. My sons finding it hard to make any male friends I think he’s a bit lonely as he tells me he crys at lunch when he’s alone, it’s so surprising as he had lots of friends at pre school and was so confident.

[Rainshowers]

Same here dailymail My DD went to nursery and preschool and had no problem making friends. But seems to be struggling in school. She tends to get on better with boys but already she’s come home twice saying a boy said to her ‘girls can only play with girls’ and when she was trying to play with the train set a couple of boys kept breaking up the track. It doesn’t seem to have bothered her as much as me though!

[Misty9]

mo it's so hard when they're punishing us at home isn't it?! It's completely normal, if that helps, but hard work. Re the urine, we had awful problems with ds (7) when he started school and he still sometimes comes home smelling of wee. Believe it or not, teaching staff honestly don't notice or are so used to the smell of small children! Just have a quick word and they can be on the lookout for it - the TA is often more able to make time for this.

dailymailfail that's so hard to hear isn't it? and I'd definitely flag it with the teacher as they should be looking out for that kind of thing. Often they don't have supervision of the kids at lunchtimes so aren't aware.

We're getting the boy/girl thing too so I'm just explaining that some boys/girls think they can only play with other boys/girls, but that we know that's nonsense and anyone can play with anyone.

I'm encountering an issue I hadn't anticipated in that dd is getting jealous of big brother's friends at lunch so is trying to hurt them to make them go away! she's 4 and they're 6/7. I raised it with her teacher but I generally feel dismissed whenever I raise anything, so will monitor it via ds's friends as ds never tells me anything about school

I must admit I'm enjoying my child free time though...

[MoHunter]

DailyMailFail101 Misty9 When dropping him off this morning I mentioned about the urine, teacher said she would remind him to go more often today. They simply hadn’t noticed!

No accident today as far as I could tell but we had another low point, teacher asked me to have a word after class when picking him up and I learned that he’d been a bit rough with some other children and ended up scratching one child (his best friend!) which left a noticeable mark on friend‘s face.

They’re starting with Dojo points in his class now apparently so the plan is to encourage him to earn points.

She did say some good things about him too, that he’s settled in quite well otherwise and she wasn’t too worried... still felt a bit deflated!

On the bright side, I spoke with several mums at drop off today who‘re also struggling with child’s behaviour after school so at least don’t feel alone...

[Harleyisme]

We are struggling with behaviour to but slightly different behaviour. Ds is sensory seeking and stimming alot more at home. His high pitched screams and squeals are back too. Hes so loud at the moment.

[purpleme12]

I can't help thinking mine is more hyper than normal. It was such much easier when it was me and her.
And this is my life now. I do miss days before school. I just feel like after school it's just thinking about tea and bath and trying to bed at a reasonable time so she's ok getting up

[SoyDora]

It will settle down purpleme12, it’s only been a few weeks.
Mine has been there for 4 weeks now and is back to ‘normal’ at home, albeit with a bit more attitude!

[purpleme12]

Thank you so helps sometimes to hear a friendly voice

[BangingOn]

DS has also picked up on the “boys have to play with boys” nonsense and has been saying it to some of the girls. I know that I shouldn’t overreact or project my very strong views on gender equality and gender stereotyping onto a 4 year old echoing something he’s heard in the playground so I need to have a think about how to handle it firmly without making a huge issue (which tends to provoke rebellion in strong willed DS).