Reception class - how are yours settling in?

[Misty9]

I thought it might be nice to have a thread for those of us with reception starters to share how they're getting on. And mine isn't even my pfb! But he was older and fine...

Dd is struggling a bit and getting upset and saying she wants to stay home with me (I'm not working much currently). She's finding the lunch time daunting as it's in a big hall. Big brother is there too but quite separate from reception at first.

I know they'll get used to it but this is hard and they're so little.

[DailyMailFail101]

@MoHunter you need to talk to the head of year if the reception teacher isn’t taking any notice! No child should have to sit with wet smelly pants all day, it’s awful of the teachers to let him sit in wet clothes all day!

[MoHunter]

Nearly at my wit’s end, on the one hand my DS doesn’t hate school (he is happy to go in every morning), but this week he’s come home 4/4 days with wet pants and bottoms having weed himself, he even lied to me today telling me he told the TA and got clean bottoms and pants out of his bag (he didn’t, was still wearing the ones from this morning - stinking of urine).
Before he started school he sometimes had accidents at home, usually just dribbles and not daily so I’m upset that this keeps happening at school!
I’ve also been taken aside twice by the teacher over the course of the last 2 weeks about my DS having hit other children and not listening.
He’s late August born and although the teacher has said he’s not particularly immature I fear he’s just not ready and this was a mistake, wish I’d deferred him but what can I do now except grin and bear it???

[starfish8]

Any decent reception teacher would want to know if a child was unsettled/not wanting to go in. Please don't worry about saying anything.

[DailyMailFail101]

Yes I mentioned it to the teacher this morning but feel like I’m wasting her time making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don’t want to be seen as a whinging parent, feel a bit awkward picking him up this afternoon.

[starfish8]

Early days for us, but we have our teacher's email address and she says she has an open door policy.

I know I can stay behind for an informal chat at the end of the day at any time. Or if I felt a situation had escalated, I would email and ask for a private meeting.

Do you feel you can do that?

[DailyMailFail101]

Great advice thank you. It’s just so hard not getting any information off the teachers each day like preschool!

[starfish8]

Not at all, I would feel really upset about it.

Personally I'd ask to talk to the teacher privately to talk about the situation and get her view on how he is settling.

I'd also be talking to your son about how to cope if someone is mean ie go and find a nice friend to play with instead, go and find the teacher if necessary.

My son has been hit a couple of times since starting (once came home with a cut near his eye) but I'm talking to him about it and what to do if it happens again.

[purpleme12]

Well I would have told someone too if it had got to the point where he's saying he doesn't want to go in yes.

Just also give him ways to deal with it ie telling a teacher or laughing it off etc however you feel is best

But I would have done the same

[DailyMailFail101]

Hi need to know if I’ve done the right thing, this is the third full week my son has been in and on Monday a boy pushed him so hard he fell and hit his head it was bleeding the school rang to tell me about it straight away, thought nothing more of it, yesterday he came home and was upset because the boys have been laughing at his hair and made him cry. I said something to the teacher today because he didn’t want to go to school, was I right to say something? Or is this is what a reception class is like? I feel a bit petty for saying something.

[Misty9]

Sounds like a good plan and sensible to see how this week goes. They've not been going long although it feels like ages! Hope things improve

[mockorangey]

The teacher suggested yesterday that she would do a "social story" for DS, which basically sounds like she would write a story about DS being at school? She didn't mention it again today, but said she thought we were on the right track now, so perhaps she is not going to do it. I think if I want more action I will need to request a proper meeting, as two minutes in the playground with other parents waiting to chat to her isn't ideal. My current plan is to see how this week goes and then ask for a meeting if necessary. I think we could potentially work around 2 or even 3 days of mornings only if necessary, but it would require some organisation so I don't want to jump headfirst into that if it's not necessary.

[Misty9]

I think it's difficult as we see their tiredness and big feelings when usually they're okay at school most of the time. What have school suggested if it's evident there? Are they putting extra nurture measures in like buddying up etc? What social and emotional class stuff do they do? (Circle time etc) is there something your son likes doing that they can use to make him feel more comfortable?

Dd told me it was a sad day today (i ask if it was a happy day or a sad day) but then she fell over on the way home so I think that coloured things somewhat!

[mockorangey]

Thanks all. I talked to the reception teacher today and she said he had had a much better day. He still seemed a little off after school to me. When I was reading him stories at bedtime, he was breathing strangely at one point - almost like hyperventilating?

It is the worst timing ever as I have just gone back after maternity leave. I could ask work for some flexibility but it all feels a bit sudden - I only really discovered this issue yesterday, so I don't know if it is just a wobble and he will be fine in a few days or if it is really serious.

[starfish8]

Mockorangery sorry to hear your son hasn't settled.

Is there anything you could do to support him to do half days at least until half term? It could really help.

I appreciate if you don't have family help on tap, how understanding or not is your (and your husbands) employer? What is your set up for before/after school? If a childminder, could they have him from lunchtime?

Or if he is in wrap around care, the very long day could be making things worse?

Sorry if none of this is useful but just trying to suggest some options?

[purpleme12]

I'm so sorry mockorangery that sounds so upsetting for you. I can imagine. Sending you hugs

[mockorangey]

Hi, please can I join in? I'm feeling thoroughly depressed after talking to DS's teacher today. She said he has not settled in yet. He apparently wanders around aimlessly quite a bit, and has been quite teary. He seemed ok to me in the beginning, but the last few days has been saying he doesn't want to go, and this morning clung to me when lining up. He's only just turned 4 and I can't help but think that I've sent him too soon. I feel so upset knowing that he is feeling that way at school. The teacher says she hopes he will settle by half term, but I don't know what to do if he doesn't. I work 4 days a week so he needs to go at least some full days. And I'm not sure if that even helps - he will still be upset when he's there. I could pull him out but would need to find a nursery place when everywhere is likely full, and probably won't qualify for 30 hours free childcare.

[UnaOfStormhold]

We're having a lot of night waking too Abouttime. Not that he's ever been a good sleeper and we've had a rotten summer for sleep, but the last week or so he just wants us next to him all night so we've ended up on his floor, which is exhausting. Cosleeping makes him sleep better but having a small person kicking and thrashing means we sleep much worse! And of course bad sleep makes it so much harder to deal patiently with a more-fractious-than-normal child. Sigh. Just hoping things will improve as he settles in more.

[Abouttime1978]

My DS goes into school fine and seems to enjoy himself but he's meltdown central after school and waking at night/night terrors.

Saying that my 6 year old (year 2 at school) came out in tears today over something which wouldn't usually upset her. Both a complete mess.

However, I put peppa pig on the tv and got all the craft stuff out and I have two silent cooperative kids suddenly! Might be worth a try if anyone else is struggling?

It could also be a fluke but we'll see how it goes.

Sigh the summer holidays are too long, this first half term is always so tough! X

[Rudolphtherednose]

Glad things are going better SoyDora.

[SoyDora]

Rudolphtherednose that was exactly the same scenario as us for the first couple of weeks (even down to going to a different school to her best friend). It seems to have settled down now and although I think a lot of the others are in pairs she seems happy floating around all the various groups at play times and when I drop her off at least 8 children shout her name and wave!

[Parker231]

My next door neighbour son has just started reception. It been interesting seeing the differences from when my DC’s started school. He has gone full time from day one with breakfast and after school club. He has been very excited and seems to be loving it and says it is much better than nursery. After school club has been a major success, a chance to play with the big children and run around using up all their excess energy.

[Rudolphtherednose]

Mine goes in without complaining and seems to like it generally but I think she’s struggling to make friends. She keeps saying the others are pairing up with each other and not wanting to play with her. I know it’s early days but it breaks my heart because I chose to send her to a different school from her best friend. She’s also tired and shouty at home!

[Racecardriver]

Surprisingly well. Like a fish to water. Completely different to what it was like starting nursery.

[Itchytights]

Hello! Chipping in, if that’s ok.


It’s all play based learning and they follow the EYFS curriculum in reception, which Nurseries do too so not a huge difference as such.
It’s more about the socialisation aspect- sharing, being kind etc.

I absolutely love reception. For me, I think it will really hit next year in year one. That worries me.

[BangingOn]

I think I’d underestimated what an influence other children, particularly the older ones, can have on them.